Ayatollah Hermione

Tilleys is a decent pub IMO.

I meant the fat bastards we've got playing for us. Right bunch of kebab-chomping reprobates.

"Why would he lie?" is not science, Kevin.

All true (except the dip in the pitch, we've had that levelled out in close season)- but I guarantee any Newcastle fans who make the trip will enjoy going back to basics' at our ground, there'll be a fantastic atmosphere, whether we win, lose or draw the game. It's also true the Fulham players refused to use our changing facilities & hope that doesn't happen with your lot (although Sol Campbell may have a little trouble fitting in our tiny away dressing room ) - just think of it as a new experience & don't expect too much in the way of facilities - that way you won't be disappointed Looking at some of our lot, they'll love the pizza delivery. I think it'll be a canny game but I imagine the likes of Vuckic and Tavernier will get run-outs.

Last article specifically mentions a loan with option to buy at the end of the season. Good stuff; it's a signing we need.

Ben Arfa would improve that team tenfold. Some movement and creativity in midfield is desperately needed.

BRING THE SCIENCE, KEVIN. BRING IT

He was the definite MOM like. Sky's inability to deal in anything other than extremes is what we're all ridiculing though.

Now, Sir Alex, which brandy will you be drinking this evening?

Saved themselves with Karl Pilkington's travel show though. Karl Pilkington in charge of the football coverage would probably save it.

Its called a mirror I don't believe in ghosts, no. My wife does but then she is highly strung with an overactive imagination. * Fuck, I hope she doesn't see this * I'm in the same. She believes in all measures of superstitious shite and then complains that I'm too cynical. Daft cow. *If she sees this, I love you really but that bang was the pipes, not some dead Victorian plumber coming to say hello*

he's not really a pleasure to watch since he looks like a giant fucking nik nak.

Now all we need is "Kammy" popping up to spout a cheeky "It's unbelieveable" and we've completed the Sky circle of nauseating shite.

He's got a head like a shit potato. These two are fucking ridiculous with their patter though. Here he goes like a fucking granddad on a laptop. Now fucking Scholes doing an impression of the gay kid off shameless. Now, imagine if Rooney had played well.

When that stat came up on the bottom, the confused silence was a joy. It's like they didn't know how to continue the hyperbole.

What's wrong with Guthrie btw? If he's going to play a spoiler, it needs to be one with legs. And preferably one that doesn't look like a barber's nightmare. More defensive cover is needed; Perch and Ryan Taylor as right-backs is a League One winning combination. Perch's positional play was Sunday league at times. I have no faith in him covering at LB or centre-half with much more efficiency.

Andy Gray's big tactics board is literally the shittest thing I've ever seen. Him faffing about with the controls like a dog trying to operate a forklift adds at least 3 minutes on to every bit of analysis.

Sky's coverage is unbearable. They weren't THAT good; aided by playing a shit team. Perch is every bit out of his depth as could be. At least we tried though, season starts next week. Xisco as a winger is a mental way to add an illusion of depth.

Interesting. Does that mean he's using Nolan in a holding type role?

IMDB*

No you're not. The meat is actually fine its not fried, the worst thing in McDonalds are actually the chips. Milkshakes. Aye but I meant of the hot food. What sort of huckle has milkshakes? There's not an ounce of cow juice anywhere near them either. Primary ingredient is potato pulp, secondary ingredient is vegetable oil. After that it's simply flavourings and colourings with the whole sorry mess chucked into deep chill. Trade descriptions issue using the name 'milkshake' in my mind. Urban myth, shirley. http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/mcdshake.asp Snopes reckons as much.

Well done to him

Deal for that Uruguayan bad lad fell through perhaps?

It's still only 3 defenders.

really, listening to any "call-in" show is asking for trouble. People are idiots; callers and presenters.