Ayatollah Hermione

Who the fuck chucks glasses at each other?

More cheap tat?

Under 21 so doesn't need registered. Here's a friendlier version of the list: GK: Steve Harper, Tim Krul, Fraser Forster DEF: Sol Campbell, Steven Taylor, Jose Enrique, Fabricio Coloccini, Danny Simpson, Ryan Taylor, Mike Williamson, James Perch MID: Joey Barton, Danny Guthrie, Alan Smith, Jonas Gutierrez, Kevin Nolan, Wayne Routledge, Cheik Tiote, Hatem Ben Arfa FWD: Shola Ameobi, Peter Lovenkrands, Leon Best, Xisco Carroll, Kadar, Ranger and Vuckic are under 21 so they don't need to make the 25.

This Van Der Vaart deal has brown envelopes written all over it.

He's more like a shit version of Maradona; left footed playmaker type. Should give us that extra quality boost and separate us from the real shite at the bottom of the premiership. The only problem is he'll be skinning and taking the piss out of Nolan and 'Smudge' in training, he will leave them for dust. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and I just hope that they don't all start playing silly buggers when he's showing everyone up. It's imperative that he gets on with Carroll so they can build a good understanding and so that Carroll won't batter him. If he gets mates with Tiote and Carroll no one will mess with him. We could have a decent little midfield going there, Barton/Tiote/Arfa/Jonas is not bad going at all in terms of survival. Probably stick Nolan in there as well if we're only playing one up front. How long did it take you to get to Earth from your home planet?

Yeasayer - Madder Red (Henning Furst Remix) Top class. Turns it into a chill middle of the night track.

Its only a loan deal. Worth the gamble imo. Came out today that he's signed for £2 million. I didn't realise that either but he cost less than Best.

We're not in the Championship anymore though.

He is. Thought as much. He looks average enough on his stronger side, nevermind over on the left.

Gudjohnsen's a player that we should have been beating Stoke to get as well. Especially when Keane made it clear he didn't want to come.

I don't know if he's banking on Perch to fill in if Enrique gets injured but I'd have liked to see a natural LB brought in as cover. The lack of a decent striker is worrying; while he seemed to try with Keane, I imagine Ashley wouldn't pay the cash for the quality that we needed. If Carroll gets injured or suspended, you're looking at Shola as replacement and he's proven that he's never a PL striker. With doubts over Shola's fitness too, you're down to the bones of your arse. There's definitely some depth issues that should have been addressed (Ryan Taylor as cover for ANYONE, wingers so we're not playing Guthrie or Barton out there and limiting their effectiveness) and I don't think it's a case of Hughton wanting to buy the right man since he went out and got Leon Best for reasons I still can't fathom. He's had to deal with Ashley being prepared to stump up fuck all and he's done alright with those confinements. Hughton has done well, Ashley has had his usual tight-arse parade.

Has owt came of that Algerian trialist?

I can't believe people are fucking biting. He's blatantly taking the piss! And he's still useless. Good try though.

What a fucking useless poster this kid is. We're able to find these rumours, we just don't give a shit.

Take your time, please.

That was the other one i watched at the weekend couldnt remember what it was till you posted. I thought it was a total pile of wank in honesty and i'm a computer programmer ffs (geek etc). Obviously I'm a cooler geek than you

They haven't. The first two series were one school year. This one is the beginning of their second year at 6th form. Ah right, thought it was a year a piece.

Wor lass owns White Chicks on dvd Seen Scott Pilgrim today and I'd heartily recommend it. There's something to be said for something that manages to revel in its total geekiness but pull off one of the coolest films of the year. Great cast, well-written, inventively directed and well, well worth a watch.

How have they done three years at Sixth Form?

Loan deal for us within 45 minutes. Wild speculation, let's make it interesting.

I expected that to be our lot once Keane fell through. Somehow I still expect a shite player on loan at half 4.

She can't be Britain's most disgusting woman while Jodie Marsh is kicking about.

That's never a real name.

Had a pint of Moretti last night up in a restuarant in Jesmond. Enjoyed it, tasted a bit like Peroni, I thought. Can't whack Tiger either.

Most encouraging thing for me is how we battled back from behind. We wouldn't have done that two seasons ago.