Ayatollah Hermione

Highest point: 5-1 against the Mackems and finding myself necking shots to celebrate Lowest point: Hughton getting sacked and replaced with Pardew Game of the season: Newcastle 5-1 Sunderland Goal of the year: Ben Arfa's vs Everton or Enrique's against Forest. Refereeing thiefery: The Man City game was a fine example of how to be an utterly shit referee. They were getting fouls for diving all over the shop and we got nowt for seeing our star player have his leg broken and seeing a perfectly good challenge in the box ruled as a penalty. First time I've left a game in ages thinking we were done by the ref. Most improved player: Andy Carroll Most disappointing player: Lovenkrands, but only because he was excellent at the back of last season and hasn't been able to carry his form across. I always knew Perch was going to be a bit shit, sadly.

That's neither witty nor funny. An eloquent summing up of your post history. Aye, your topic on sandwiches is fuckin' enthralling mate A bit much from the man who sees "Last Post LeazesMag", furiously tugs down his trousers and begins a salty wank over the tedium that will follow for 45 pages. You're like a hangover that won't fuck off.

That's neither witty nor funny. An eloquent summing up of your post history.

The forum seems to be compatible with your PSP at least. IE, your pretty shitty posting.

Class. Nowt clever, just "here, yee calm yasel doon"

There's a danger of a football match breaking out at this fight.

Somewhere in the middle

It's a right bastard losing your wallet, I did a couple of months ago and I've still not got all my cards sorted yet. It's just an arseache more than anything else ringing everyone up and getting everything fixed.

Been up 45 minutes and sneezed 5 times. The rest of the day doesn't bode well.

Ah yes, liverpool; famed for its low unemployment and complete lack of benefit fraud Don't spout stereotypes mate, Liverpool is just like any other city. And don't judge us on this fucking red belter. If we're judging on you, it's not much better.

Rediscovered my love for "Lucky" through doing it.

Tried the OK Computer/In Rainbows thing the other day and it sounds fantastic. The transition into Nude is perfect and it all fits together seamlessly. If it wasn't intentional, it's a mental coincidence like.

I saw Jose Enrique in Esquire's and said hello. He said hello back and a friendship was born. I also kept a door open for Steve Cram.

Mopping up some stuff that I'd not heard from the end of year lists. Glasser's album is really good but 'Apply' is probably the best song on there by some distance. I finally heard Grinderman 2 and that's about as consistent as you'd expect a Nick Cave release to be at this point with some quality musicianship. It's also taken a while but the Flying Lotus album clicked with me last night. Good stuff. The Tron Legacy soundtrack is fantastic as well though I'd rather have a new album proper from Daft Punk at this point.

Scarlett Johansson did a Christmas shoot so it counts as far as I'm concerned.

Changed my 360 one to Flirty Bertie. Can't remember if I mentioned.

He's posting pictures of the Christmas party featuring Nile Ranger in a party hat and Coloccini's afro eating a party hat of its own.

I don't think he responded when I asked if the team would be up for doing a Christmas single.

Is that the Mexican dub?

Krul's far away. He's just very tall. Krul didn't have that far to run tbf, they were celebrating on the half-way line.

Got a sore throat atm but think I'm avoiding this. At the weekend, it was a bit worse and I felt a bit lightheaded as well and Stevie's right about how the drink is lethal when you're like that. After about 6 pints, I had to pack it in because I was slurring my words like a Glaswegian and me heed was battered so I'm laying off it until it fucks off.

For some milk? Can he hop yet? Come on, Parky, your enigma act has no place here

He's a gent among shithounds, tbf. I've always like Gibson for his commitment to a club where the fanbase is about as committed as Jonas going into a 50/50. I'm meeting a good one on Thursday as it happens. Marietta Higgs was a canny lass too. Was that the nutter doctor who utilised the thoroughly awful 'anal test machine'? Abit of a maverick she was, tbf. Certainly brings new meanings to the term "Loose Cannon"