Ayatollah Hermione

This page Just when you think there's nowhere left.

Can we get Stokoe as Ziggy Stardust?

We might as well run the gamut of shite in this thread.

Mike Ashley dropped his wallet.

Just borrowed it off my mate and I'm jumping in today. If it's owt like AC2, you won't see me for 6 weeks.

I spent all my time reading the first Harry Potter book as a bairn calling her 'her-me-own' It's amazing I could read in the first place.

I DEFINITELY see Sloop wearing a tweed jacket.

It's obviously in a Diner-style place. For Nazi skins Lovely with a bit of kosher dip Nazi Skins, with any filling of your choice. Now available oven baked. Gas Mark?? Nein.

I've always pictured Parky wearing a tweed jacket of sorts.

I've had Peter Ramage and Harry Kewell off Stevie alone so I don't know what to believe.

I've not been in any but we were in a club once and this kid in a dickie bow tie ffs came up and pushed me for some reason. Apparently, I'd nudged into him going past or something like that. My mate was having none of it so slapped his drink out of his hand, pulled his dickie bow tie off and punched him in one movement and he hit the deck. It was like something out of a Laurel and Hardy sketch and was well worth getting hoyed out for.

I can drink whiskey all night and I'll probably be fine but get me on shit draught lager as Alex says and I'm anyones.

Keith Moon. Without the early finish.

Well I'm being offered this position through circumstances rather than being an arselicker or being anything special. You can do it mate. Cakewalk for you I'm sure. Do it. It's 12 months away like, my only recruitment policies taking people on will be NO MUGS, NO MACKEMS and NO STUDENTS, with the test being spell pneumonia. When I'm out of Uni, I'll give you a ring. I'll even spell a harder word, it's that kind of competitive edge you need. Most of my mates went to Uni obviously all canny, but you know exactly what I mean about the typical student type. Aye, I know the type you mean, your Student Grant types. Some of which actually exist btw, that's the biggest eye opener for me. I've seen History seminars brought to a standstill while some stupid arsehole goes on about the ills of capitalism.

If I had just typed drivel like that, I would take my hands from the keyboard and put them around a shotgun under my chin.

Unless, like yourself, you kicked all the doctors out the room and got down there yourself and delivered it. Probably didn't even wear gloves.

Best first post in history?

Well I'm being offered this position through circumstances rather than being an arselicker or being anything special. You can do it mate. Cakewalk for you I'm sure. Do it. It's 12 months away like, my only recruitment policies taking people on will be NO MUGS, NO MACKEMS and NO STUDENTS, with the test being spell pneumonia. When I'm out of Uni, I'll give you a ring. I'll even spell a harder word, it's that kind of competitive edge you need.

He still takes the piss, he just thinks he's being subtle. Because he's fucking thick.

I went through a period where I was getting 1-2 hours a night a couple of month back and I was hopeless at owt the next day but got myself out of it and have been getting 6-7 hours every night. The difference it makes, man, having a good night's kip. You wake up feeling like King Midas.

I wanted to do one like that but didn't know how. Fucking class.

I get that way too. The missus is shocked when our numbers don't come up. If you won £100m on the Euromillions, would you put a million aside for the people on this forum? My mother spends about a fiver a week on the lottery and gets precisely fuck all out of it. I might give her a challenge; every week she spends a fiver, every week, I put away a fiver and at the end of the year, we'll see who's got the more money. Barring 5 numbers or a lucky strike on the Irish, I'll win it.

Mick vs. Grammar.

Do you actually watch football? I do wonder when I'm watching your lot. Comparing him to Ardiles....Game over really. To be fair Tottenham are a good side, but anyone can beat them because they're easily bullied. Modric is overrated imo, after every game "ahv been this faakin gyyme firty eyyt yurrs, and i aint ever seen a better midfeewdur than Luuwkuh" that mug Redknapp, he's not even in their six best players in my view. Bale and VDV being their best player and JDFHAY probably most important for his goals. They won't make CL this year. VDV single handed has saved this side knock it wide to people who run fast bullshit. As opposed to smashing it long to bully boys Nolan and Carroll to cause havoc?? That's not how we play though is it, Woodenhead?