Ayatollah Hermione

Marcus Stewart? I get your point like but Carroll's obviously got more talent than he did, first season form aside. He's come up against some of the best centre halves in Europe this season and made them into ghosts but he's good on the deck as well and has a bit of skill. His improvement has been scary and I think he'll be a top centre forward for a good while.

Was in the toon tonight and there was this lass looking over at me every so often and talking to her mate so I thought "whey, this could be promising" since she was alreet like; her arse actually made some pissed bloke behind her point at it like he was doing a Steven Taylor impression. It went on for a while and I was getting well into thinking I was in if I went over when I noticed there was this dwarf behind me dancing to Black Eyed Peas like he was out of his mind on smack. I don't know if that's what she was looking at but I know I fucking well would be so if that lass is reading; if it was me with the long hair in front of the raving dwarf in wherever it was, I would like to see you and your arse over a drink.

Saving myself for new year where there's two parties in between going to see a gig so I'll be robbing the nearest pharmacy for what Renton recommended come 2011.

He'll flog Carroll in the summer tbh. The more goals he scores, the more his price goes up and selling him so soon after sacking Hughton is basically asking for more shit flung his way.

All except Enrique who would snap a pic and put it on Twitter. "here is xisco dick, is shit!"

Shame he'll never be any good in that time.

The slating Krul's had in this thread you wouldn't have thought Carroll wasn't getting any balls delivered to him in the first place. Grossly unfair imo. Think he's done well generally, no wonder his clanger in the first minute knocked him a bit, he's a young lad, a dropping won't do him any good either. No it wouldn't but at least the new manager, love him or hate him, has said players are in due to merit and Krul earned his spot. He could have been hooked after that but wasn't yesterday. Harper's recall will be justified now. After one mistake? Bit harsh iyam; he's hardly world class but he's dependable at a young age and it's one clanger. He went on to have a canny game, despite not having to save much and I don't think it's fair or justified to drop a young keeper for making one mistake.

Drifting sideways along the A1 when the snow was really bad; if anything else was on the road, we'd gave been fucked. We were blaring Crossroads though so it was immense at the time.

I'm sure our players run and hide when they see Enrique running at them with his phone out

My mam sat next to the drummer at school, John Steel. Good tune. My mate served him in the butchers last Christmas and my Grandad taught him some jazz drumming. Can any readers beat that?

There just isn't enough quality in the side to take advantage of periods of battering. I think if Nolan was having a better game, he'd have put that chance away. Carroll is certainly good enough to win games as well; I actually thought Joe Hart was class today, that weird fuck-up with Enrique's cross aside. Thought he came out and collected the ball really well and it basically limited us. If Gutierrez had a final ball, he would have battered them today.

I thought 4-5-1 was a mistake like but we got no luck around the box. Balls were bouncing off our players nicely out of play or into the path of their lot, it was frustrating. Thought Routledge went past his man well enough a few times but our possession improved when Barton went out there. Still, I'd have played Carroll and Ranger from the start since, while Ranger didn't offer much, the midfield had a nicer balance and Barton improved from there on. Did Adam Johnson actually blow a kiss since I couldn't see? He basically confirmed he was a cunt with that little cameo as well. Sad thing is, I think it'll be three points dropped at Spurs as well like. They definitely didn't deserve all three points tbh. Just because we struggled to pick up Tevez doesn't mean we didnt batter them for about 60 minutes.

Yeah, I'm sure there's loads I haven't mentioned as they don't post much etc. Speaking of other fans I like Billy Castell anarl. Also like some of the lads who went to games back in the day and the stories they tell. Spongebob, NJS and Leazes of course. I think we're canny lucky on here as, although we could do with a few more posters, most people on here talk a bit of sense. Even the young kids. I obviously get my wisdom from you old bastards

Same. They're better away from home since their players actually move. Think it'll be a tight one but Johnson will probably come on and win it.

I had to sort out those cables when I got my keyboard the other month. Just pull them as hard as possible but make sure you have some plasters handy to treat the wounds. Polystyrene is the worst like, the feel and sound of that stuff makes my blood curdle, especially when you get something that's packed with the stuff so it doesn't break when the delivery boy with hands like cows tits drops it down the stairs.

Sort a brother out. I've not got the Kindle but I've got an e-reader regardless and would love this PM if they're all the same format.

Die Hard then Young Frankenstein might be the best two films to have back to back. Unfortunately, the telly won't be free to watch them for me which upsets me. Luckily, I have them on dvd and can watch them any time.

Got a Stylophone beatbox and have been annoying the shit out of everyone recording drum beats and bass lines. Didn't really get a bad present tbh, everything will be fun or useful. The box of Segsations was unimaginative but not unwelcome.

Charlie: Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there? Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're talking about? Charlie: No, I was talking about . . I didn't say . . what'd you hear? Dennis: I heard you say you saw a door marked 'Pirate'. Charlie: No, that's not what I said. Look, are we gonna talk about pirates all day or are we gonna find out what lives in here?

Merry Christmas to all except Mick. I hope the tacky flashing lights on his tree catch aflame and his house burns down.

Kevin up at the crack of dawn in his new Spiderman pyjamas, I see. Merry Christmas to you all anyway, eat your weight in meat

Then why aren't you funny?

They call it Nursery

Sitting drinking Carling you dirty bamp. Fingernails like clarty football studs.

The bit where he's remembering all the reindeers names Nearly as good as the bit where he smiles in Terminator 2.