Ayatollah Hermione

Wasn't it 80/1? 250,000/1 would mean a tenner bet would literally make you a millionaire.

Why do you get so upset about women who, lets face it, you've got no fucking chance of getting anywhere near? Do you think they actually give a fuck what you think?

Can't wait for this regular column btw. "An Expose on The Bin-Dippers" by Steve Marshall-Barnes

The wife?

Bollocks to all this piss-weak shit. I'm in the mood for RIFFS, DRUM FILLS AND OZZY.

He's put absolutely everything I said in minus the swear words and me having a shite in the pub when we scored the second pen. I thought it would be two paragraphs max, they should give me my own column. Your column would be better than Robbie Savage's, for certain.

Black Rose is one of the best Thin Lizzy albums and a lot of it comes from his guitar playing. RIP.

Enrique's face It's like he's just remembered a funny story.

With this news, I find myself just sitting in my room, crying.

Di Matteo is OUTTAHERE Sacked after losing 13 in 18.

Imagine if the 5th had rightfully stood? I'm actually gutted we didn't win.

Showing the game on Football First in the bar Tiote's goal, man, fuck me.

That's exactly what he's perfect for atm. Made a right nuisance of himself and it worked a treat. Good sub for now.

It's so saddening. I am genuinely just sitting in my room, crying. It seems all hope is lost.

I came out with tinnitusm, you lucky bastard.

What the fuck? My ears have never even rang like that coming out of gigs before. Off to get pissed in celebration since the good times are flowing. Good times

Breadhelmet is my Man of the Match. Hey Muburak - Baguette the fuck out!

I was in! We know Joe who was on the acoustic in the corner and we were by the toilets. Small world. Well ya bugger!!!! He was very good. There was a drunk? With a bomber jacket singing along and then another table of four just beside the stairs where another dark haired lad kept singing along. We were in the room to Joes right. Nice pub like. That was us, aye He wasn't a drunk though, he gets into the local buskers, open-mic nights and what have you. My mate got up and done a bit of lead guitar for him on some 12-bar stuff, lad called Michael. I was probably singing along like, had a long black coat on and red jumper. You caught a private glance at a fellow Toontasticer If you ever go there again for the music, go and see The Monologues if you're into your rock stuff, do some mint covers of the popular music and such. It's a canny bar like, pricey though.

He might have Spin Class on Tuesdays but I reckon he could make it.

I was in! We know Joe who was on the acoustic in the corner and we were by the toilets. Small world.

Whey, I know his jokes aren't the best but it's a bit harsh calling him shite.

I'd say something but your 14 stone of chiseled muscle might wipe me out. It's ALPHA TIME! Strutting around here like a carrot-topped Jason Statham tbh.

Shola's entire body baffles me. Does he have brittle bone disease?

I'd say something but your 14 stone of chiseled muscle might wipe me out.

Cheeky bastard, she was actually * And, aye, in a way, I suppose it was. If anything can be fried up there, it will be like. No wonder I used to come back down a stone heavier. *not saying that in an arrogant way before anyone starts, I obviously thought she was, ye knaa?