Ayatollah Hermione

Speaking of cheating bastards, the dive that kid done to get Coloccini booked was Olympic standard. Landed right on his head as well. I like to see some bravery in the art of trying to get someone sent off.

Horrible cheating bastards

This. Barton and Nolan in the middle, Ferguson and Routledge on the flanks and everyone get buzzing about. If Nolan gets booked, is he out for Sunday? Seems a bit tentative to go into the tackles.

Fucking desperate stuff. For a team looking for a battle, they're fond of going to ground like they've been shot, the pussies. Does anyone know Alan Smith's level yet? He wouldn't get in Stevie's five-a-side team.

Routledge and Barton on the wings, Nolan and Smith in the middle with Lovenkrands and Best up front, I imagine.

Thought Ferguson would have gotten a run-out down the left. I'd never be risking Nolan, Barton and Coloccini ahead of the Sunderland game.

Krul Simpson Coloccini Williamson Perch Routledge Nolan Smith Barton Best and Lovenkrands is the team

Good idea really if you believe the player to be decent. These days all the rumblings about will they re-sign or walk for free, start a year before the contract ends so much better to have a decent run of 3 or 4 years without all that worry or crap going on. You'd hope that any player the management signs or offer a contract to is decent enough. Then you end up with players like Butt and Smith that you have to let run down their contracts because no-one is willing to take them off our hands/pay their wages. Not that I am saying it will happen this case of course - but it could ! With regard to the butt / smith scenario, that boils down to having an owner and that won't sanction such rediculous deals. Which we certainly have at the moment which is probably why we won't be getting bentley. With no controls it's too easy for a manager to go the has been route. There does have to be a little wiggle room though for the Bartons of this world. The current owner sanctioned the Smith contract man Aye but your going back to when the world was still new and shiny, finacial markets hadnt gone tits up, the black hole hadnt been discovered and he had been in charge about 6 weeks and new even less about football. Totally different Mike Ashley to tadys version. Still doesn't make it a stupid idea. But he's well accustomed to them, I suppose.

What a load of bollocks. It's like people saying that Rooney wouldn't be the same player if he wasn't a mouthy cunt, it doesn't improve how he plays. Yes that's exactly what I'm saying. Bafra would be crap as well if he weren't moody and unpredictable. Ben Arfa would be worse if he was always out on the piss though. Just look at the posters on here. All the good posters are nutters. Aw, cheers

Piranha 3D: Immense tbh. We bought it with the shit 3d glasses in it but it was the equivalent to reading The Beano in 3D such was the shittiness of the glasses. Put the 2D one on and spent the majority of the film pissing ourselves laughing, looking at Kelly Brook's tits and deciding we had to go to a Spring Break at some point in our lives.

Imagine if the performances he'd been putting in were actually being hindered by the drink Get him clean and he'll be like the Gateshead Pele.

This is the best live album: These are the best three albums of 1967: That was bloody hard enough, never mind getting it down by genre or all-time favourite.

Bollocks, I was fine until the 24th.

Hit an ex in the eye once. Pulled out and actually hit her from down by her fanny which I think is a spectacular display of double barrell yoghurt cannon accuracy. I must have been harder than Viv Graham.

Can I go by year? No way I can narrow down.

I had 24 Jagerbombs one night and I didn't fall down once. I was sick all over my mate's flat and had an unparallelled hangover the next morning but no falls. The puff.

Same could be said for their home kit.

It didn't end well btw, if you want a potted version. Cheers, I'll reference you in the conclusion.

Knuckling down for a monster work session. Just me, the laptop and a fuck load of books about 1930s economic Germany. Joy.

Can't believe I forgot Radiohead! They were immense; Paranoid Android and Jigsaw Falling into Place were two of the best live performances I've seen.

Nee idea how he's still hanging on like. Have they not got the wedge to sack him?

Genius.

Fit and healthy

Sadly, Cheick Tiote takes Alan Pardew's infamous Match of the Day advice too literally.

I've put my faith in the wrong man, it seems. Ant, come through for me, you nerdy stallion.