Ayatollah Hermione

My hands smells lovely btw

Wouldn't you like to know?

Whoa! Did you have sexual intercourse? Less of your shite today because I'm gorging on chocolates in depression. Get a handful of chocolates and give yourself a melty wank. Think that's known as a Turkish Delight.

Whoa! Did you have sexual intercourse? Less of your shite today because I'm gorging on chocolates in depression.

Have to say, I went out with my ex last Valentines since we were newly going out and all that soppy shite. It had an upside later on in the night like.

Jonny's going to look pretty HIPspanic alright. Don't know this place coped without me for two days tbh.

Not get any replies to the PM like?

They probably have one conversation then realise you're about to bench press them around the poolside area and run for their lives.

Aye, I'm even going to wear a trenchcoat and carry a pitchfork while I do it.

God where do you guys stand on ladyboys??? I had never considered this. Its like the mermaid discussion....top half or bottom half fish? *bottom obviously* Mate of mine fucked a ladyboy in Thailand, swears blind he didn't know he was doing shim up the wrong'un until he looked down and saw his groin spattered with shit. He insists he pushed shim off and jumped in the shower, only to look around and the ladyboy stroking it's cock... but, yeah, swears he didn't know... We reckon that's bullshit, because if you're coming in for a landing, you're going to buzz the tower first, right? Especially in Thailand ffs Same here, there was no Begbie moment neither he just got on with it. Full pitch inspection from me with the other one who came up though. I'm stealing that like

What an unparallelled load of shite.

That "World's 1 Boyfriend" one reminds me of a bloke that had a picture of his bairn on the back of his top

Fucking hell, creased.

40-something. I.e. his age ah, same as Martins at Brum then................... as long as its not the no. 9 shirt. Christ, can you imagine? I just know he's going to score a decent header from a corner, do that daft celebration and break all his ribs. Then we'll sign Aliadiere and so on and so forth.

Guti does not agree.

Just once, I wouldn't mind a nice calm season where we improve the squad a little bit over the two windows and put ourselves in good stead but I know it'll probably never happen.

Good lord

Good luck to him, except when he plays us.

most likely reaching for crisps?

Was she dirty? Haha, that's not why I miss her. In seriousness though, there's nowt worse, especially when you've had a drink. It's fine to pine for the ones that got away though, let it out and write some bad poetry.

Was she dirty?

Only player in the squad who can drag us forward tbh. Will be a canny miss if he's sold IMO.

Yeah lets all go sign your petition and get rid of Ashley! Kevin shoots, Kevin scores! First goal in over 5500 posts.

I bet he's no worse than the likes of Phil Airey at this point in his career. And I've seen fuck all of Airey.

34 year old ffs. He'll have no legs left in the slightest I imagine.