Ayatollah Hermione

If he was a copper, I picture him as him from Young Frankenstein with the wooden arm.

I thought I'd try and update these everyday with information shamelessly stolen from NUFC.com. 24th March 1984 Shrewsbury Town (a) 2-2 (0-0) Division Two 60pts, 3rd Keegan, og(Johnson) Cross 2 8,313 The equaliser via Johnson of Shrewsbury. 1990 Blackburn Rovers (a) 0-2 (0-0) Division Two 57pts, 5th Moran, Sellars 13,285 Most of us turned up for this sunny spring game in short- sleeved shirts. Not such a wise decision as United fans trudged away into a howling gale of hail and snow. Future Mag Scott Sellars scored for Rovers while Billy Askew made his United debut. 1993 Goals from David Roche, Kevin Brock and Alan Thompson helped United to a 3-1 victory in this Northumberland Senior Cup Semi-Final tie staged at Croft Park. 1994 Transfer deadline day, and Darren Peacock joined Newcastle in a £2.7m move, a British record fee for a defender at the time. 1996 Newcastle Striker Les Ferdinand was voted Player of the Year by the Professional Footballers Association. 2009 The Daily Mail reported that a number of unnamed players (via the omnipresent club insider) were demanding that Terry Venables be brought in to spearhead United's attempts to negotiate a path out of the bottom three: "Newcastle's players want Terry Venables to keep them in the Barclays Premier League. "Chris Hughton and Colin Calderwood have been in charge of team affairs while Joe Kinnear recovers from heart surgery but the Magpies want an emergency boss - and have placed Venables at the top of their list." It's unclear what position a certain Mr Shearer was on this list.... I think the entire 2008/09 season might be the most surreal season I've seen in my time. It seemed to go on forever, I remember when Shearer came in, it felt 2 or 3 seasons later since Keegan left but it had only been 6/7 month. The lack of trust in Hughton and Calderwood is funny in retrospect too but how were we to know? Anyone got any particular memories of these?

Sorry to hear that, TR. Hope a good rest and sleep can make you feel a bit better.

Funnily enough, Brian May proved there was no God when he played on the roof of Buckingham Palace.

He looks a bit like that fat bully who used to be on Power Rangers.

Joan Baez would have got it but I bet she fucking stunk.

By announcing that I'm watching it? By announcing something even worse immediately after it, it deflects from TV' favourite sex pest gardener. What are you doing watching it anyway?

Gemmill skillfully deflecting attention away from the fact he's watching the Alan Titchmarsh show.

Your fish supper, Jan.

There was a good tweet about Owen's PC breaking down and being unusuable for 8 months after 20 minutes use

Know something we don't, Alex? Are we signing Alexi Lalas?

I remember some lass I used to be Facebook "friends" with left a comment on a photo on Katie Price's official page saying how she was an inspiration to young women everywhere. Jesus fucking bawled.

Been off the drink for a couple of weeks and can see already that my face is looking a bit thinner. I'm by no means The Biggest Loser material but I've put a bit on over Christmas etc that I've not shifted yet. The most depressing part is that I have to limit my drinking.

I'm only young so I'm alright, touch wood. I'm corned beef like but I'm sure if I got my lugs syringed or whatever it is they do, that would improve.

Think I'm going to London Feis for the prospect of Dylan and Van Morrison.

"Spearing injured in human sacrifice"

A rejected artist's impression of "Sabrina The Teenage Witch"

I want to set the trend of "waltz" instead of "club" It sounds so much better. Nobody steal that because I'm thinking of a word to go before it, when I do, I'm laughing.

Leazes? you young'uns speak strangely sometimes, what the fuck is Madame Koos ? Shite pub/club in the Toon. It's a bit trendy atm until the next one opens. sounds like a brothel Looks like one as well actually.

Leazes? you young'uns speak strangely sometimes, what the fuck is Madame Koos ? Shite pub/club in the Toon. It's a bit trendy atm until the next one opens.

I saw two members of The Futureheads on the Metro, presumably escaping Sunderland while they could. I just thought "Come on, you're 4 albums deep and Hounds of Love was fairly popular, get yourselves a car"

I'm not doubting his talent but it doesn't lie in songwriting.

What was the last year Muse didn't play a festival?

I'd have thought Stevie would have seen the Winter jibes coming.

"No, Mr. Ferguson, the red telephone"