Ayatollah Hermione

Stevie pulling his maddest cowie face.

I'd watch it if it was called Extreme Fisting.

Maybe

Apparently I made this bet last night so I'll extend it to here. If Sunderland beat us at the SOL this year, I'll get that new awful home top with Ameobi 23 on the back of it.

I honestly have to explain to most people that the stuff I put on Twitter is a joke. People literally can't tell if things are serious without the use of smilies or LOL, JK at the end of it.

"Mother, you're alive?!" "Too bad YOU...will DIE"

I'm going to get a comic strip depicting Shearer's volley against Everton on my back.

Don't forget your cigars

What's yours?

Had she been there, Diana would have lit up the gathering with her radiant blondeness. Sitting next to old Gorby, she would have caused his birthmark to flush deeper as she leaned in to hear him speak of his wife, grasping his hand as she fixed her big blue eyes on him.

I was disappointed that they didn't show a training montage of Klitscho fighting loads of bears on a snowy mountain range somewhere.

She looks loads like my old English teacher who had an absolutely perfect arse. Just so you know.

What's his handicap?

What's the agenda, Brenda?

Scottish bastard.

Did Alexander McQueen die when the fashion police shot him?

Where'd that bear come from?

Used to love calling people that.

True enough. I dont think charlie is needed but would definitely strengthen the 1st team and squad what with having Marveaux as backup but i'd be more than happy to see how Marveuax does. If Barton stays then i would probably imagine him to start wide right ahead of Jonas or we may play 3 CM'S (Cabaye, Tiote and Barton) with Barfa and Jonas or Marveuax on the flanks. Either way we have plenty of options in how we set our midfield up if we play with one striker. If we are to play one striker then one more striker would probably suffice. If said new striker is to go straight into the 1st team then we would have Ba, Shola and Lovenkrands as back up presuming Best and Ranger leave. But like i said 2 new strikers would be ideal...its just whether there are 2 quality obtainable strikers out there and whether FMA wants to spend. I think he'll play 4-5-1 like. Barton and Jonas wide, Tiote and Cabaye in the middle with Ben Arfa in front of them. It's really all he can do in terms of what he has available in the midfield. Though, owt could change from now until September. Hopefully Jonas doesn't leave because he'll be a big miss to the midfield, more than people realise.

I wouldn't say the two of them are crocks but they're definitely going to have fitness problems and I believe Ba's been dodgy for it wherever he's been as well. Hopefully we can keep him fit but the worst case scenario is that they all get injured and we don't even have Best to whack up front. If they're after a striker, then they'll get a striker in but unless it's some kind of release cause (like Cabaye), I can bet he'll be underwhelming. I don't think N'Zogbia will sign at all TBH. They'll see his place as stocked, they'll see his wages and pricetag and knock it on the head.

Oddly enough, he sort of looks like the least annoying one.

We spent over £20 million on three players when he first got here and 2 of them were absolutely crucial last season. Guess who they'd like to sell....

Can't see N'Zogbia signing; we have Jonas, Marveaux and Ferguson who can play wide left, even Ben Arfa at a push. That's more than we have capable of playing RB decently. If we're planning to sell Ranger and Best, then we need two more strikers in, purely for depth. Ba, Shola, Lovenkrands + one other won't be enough since the three mentioned there are harldy fit as fiddles. If Shola plays more than 25 games, it'll be a surprise. The squad needs not only depth, but improved depth. Flogging the likes of Guthrie and Smith is needed but so are their replacements. Unless Vuckic and Gosling are going to become good understudies but it's still a risk to take.

Anyone know wheres showing the fight in the toon tomorrow? And dont say "whey, there'll be one ootside Bambu at midnight" either

Who are they expecting to play at LB if Enrique gans like? Such brilliant management. Also, I'm not one to want to see loads of money flung about but if we don't spend at least £20 million on the squad this summer, it's a fucking disgrace.