Ayatollah Hermione

Was it Sunday Oliseh from Nigeria who scored that screamer in the 98 World Cup?

Having went out with a Scottish lass for a while, I hope they get independence so they can shut the fuck up about it.

No need to worry about mackem slaying when Shola goes, his brother will just step up.

This thread! I'll not say much but I think it's fairly obvious that Derek Llambias is a prize arsehole, no fantasy about it.

Happy birthday, you Pimms drinking shithouse©

I reckon he's still signing for £8 million [/deano]

Mental. Ordered just in case.

That's going a bit far like, Stevie.

Got to say like Stevie, lime green wasn't an inspired choice for your trainers.

Not heard about a sword like. Was in there a couple of years ago and they were serving cans and bottles out of bags. Nowt off the taps. Told us to go to the offy up the road if we wanted owt they didn't have. That can't be legit can it? The lassy on the bar also had her bairn in a pram behind there Couldn't afford to pay the brewery so they took his pumps and fridges etc. Then he (ALLEGEDLY) went after his wife with a sword. Fuck knows if it's true or not but we were supposed to have a gig that got cancelled there and that was the crack from another bar manager.

Can anyone from South Shields confirm that the Cyprus got shut down because of brewery problems and that there was a sword involved somewhere?

Extreme Drifting with Ryan Dunn

You'll not get me near that.

Extreme Fisting with JK Rowling

Stevie pulling his maddest cowie face.

I'd watch it if it was called Extreme Fisting.

Maybe

Apparently I made this bet last night so I'll extend it to here. If Sunderland beat us at the SOL this year, I'll get that new awful home top with Ameobi 23 on the back of it.

I honestly have to explain to most people that the stuff I put on Twitter is a joke. People literally can't tell if things are serious without the use of smilies or LOL, JK at the end of it.

"Mother, you're alive?!" "Too bad YOU...will DIE"

I'm going to get a comic strip depicting Shearer's volley against Everton on my back.

Don't forget your cigars

What's yours?

Had she been there, Diana would have lit up the gathering with her radiant blondeness. Sitting next to old Gorby, she would have caused his birthmark to flush deeper as she leaned in to hear him speak of his wife, grasping his hand as she fixed her big blue eyes on him.