Ayatollah Hermione

Lee Ryder is struggling with the spelling of it.

I bet they put a clause in pardew's super dooper 5 year contract that says they can sack him with very little cost if he's not performing up to scratch (which he won't with the squad he's going to have).

Anti-socialism

I watched Iron Man 2 and the self restraint it took to not wank when Scarlett was on the screen was impressive. Might have caused a stir with the people I watched it with as well like.

When diplomas go bad

When rock met indie. It's grunge

You're right, Besty, I SHOULD start posting in here more.

what is this mess i've woken up to?

CT, how do you post in the style of bad eye witness reports? Nobody uses those adjectives.

Since the Twitter thread in the Newcastle forum has been...slightly sidetracked, I thought I'd start this one for us to keep a track of who's actually on Twitter since there's not one central list. If I miss you, let me know and I'll add you. Toontastic Twitterers - Profile name on right Stevie - @Leazeslad Happy Face - @MikeAshleyLies Meenzer - @faulknmd Paddy - @shaunvause Ketsbaia - @mtthwbrggs Fish - @thisdave Mac-Toon - @2NarMe Jimbo - @Texas_Toon/@jameswalpole (former is football related, latter is personal) Gemmill - @heggahegga Peasepud - @pjwhitfield Besty - @bestynufc Craig - @dr_tennant Wavey Davey - @MrDavidLight Scottish Mag - @ritchiemarshall Tom - @TOONLOWDOWN Ant - @Ant__M Semimental - @semimental7896 Ayatollah Hermione - @JordanStiva JawD - @darrelbirkett StevenL - @Stev3nL Southern Geordie - @JF_247 Johnny2J - @jonny_bramley Sonatine - @MrJowls JoCo85 - @TheJoCo Jan - @Jan_Boyd Gene Clark - @PayasoDeMierda Bound to be loads I've forgotten. If you follow me and Tom, you'll be barraged with a load of shite routinely at half 2 in the morning. It'll be even worse if I'm out on the piss while doing so.

Is the bigger point he made not that Barton wasnt offered a contract and he wanted to stay?.... Barton was offered a contract at Christmas and turned it down. According to the club. Just as Nolan was and then it was just dropped. Just as Enrique was offered an "incredible contract" that turned out to be a crock.

According to his agent, 3 times now on live radio, his feelings were hurt. You reckon that's the long and tall of it? Willie McKay is a Class A bullshitter as well.

In what world does a player want to leave a club because he's not taking corners?

Arsenal, Spurs and Stoke ( ) in for him

tbh

fuck me

what?

Very succint. You should write the Toontastic press releases since you always sum things up nicely.

That, it transpired, didn't even exist

NUFC.co.uk They don't even want to flog him.

Honestly. If this transfer window doesn't make the penny drop with everyone, then I'm seriously concerned for their mental health. The scary thing is, the worst is still to come!

Same. Paying to watch an abject, depressed shower of shit wasn't fun in 2008/09, it's not going to be this year.

Disgrace. So, owt to be optimistic about?

Why wait a year for a big money move when you can go all native on twitter and bank the big bucks now. #Footballersarenearlyallselfinterestedgreedywankers My assumption is this will save Ashley the £2.5m salary and whatever loyalty bonus he's due....hardly a money hungry move from JB. Do you know, I honestly dont really care. Just feel sad by all this. Give it a couple of hours, you'll change your mind.

Fuck this football club. Championship side next season.