Ayatollah Hermione

Fuck me sideways.

Aye, probably better than Williamson. Has Situ signed yet?

Without meaning to go all Deano, a starting XI of Krul, Enrique, Coloccini, Taylor, Santon, Gutierrez, Tiote, Cabaye, Barton, Ben Arfa and Carroll would have been a bit tasty.

Excuse me, we have one left-back, I think that's enough, don't you, you greedy sod?

Scott Parker and Liam Ridgewell handing in transfer requests. I hope Hughton gets the time to recover from the exodus at Brum.

Signed.

You know in Palestine, they shoot people who are shit at karaoke. Is that true like? Apparently, if you sing 'My Way' badly, you get thrown out, kicked to fuck or in the worst case, shot dead. I swear I read this on the BBC site.

Is it painfully obvious to anyone else now that Hansen doesn't watch football anymore?

That twat in the hat from Exeter needs to be far away from this. Also, wearing long tracksuit esque jackets with suits is the worst crime.

Hughton's jumper, tie and suit jacket combo was canny smart.

Fucking hell, joy. If he's leading the line, I'm going to be gutted. Though I think he's probably better than Lovenkrands.

Sounds good to me. I'll take them off your hands, mate.

I wouldn't hold your breath, CT, mate.

What are the Keegan Kingdom and 501 Goals ones? I'll have the Shearer one, mine's fucked.

Hargreaves to Man City. JWTPBFH!

Benayoun would be canny here but Arsenal is a likely place for him. He'll do a canny job there, I think as well, decent little player.

We should be straight in there.

Bit surprised we haven't seen the 'HBA strategy of loan-plus-option-to-buy used tbh as I thought that would become something of an Ashley mainstay. As Jay says, if they take the on paper view that we've got eg 6 strikers already, they're willingly fooling themselves and we'll be fucked for goals. And I say that despite actually having some faith in Ba to come good. Aside from him it's toothless. I think we'd have to see Ranger sold or in prison before there was any movement.

Ruined a few, I imagine.

One Day. It actually covers 20 years. Demanded a refund but was refused one.

I'd say this was Joey Barton but it's not sketched in the back of his Maths book beside a Cure lyric

Can't believe Jonny didn't bite, the Jamie Oliver Bruschetta loving, handlebar tache growing shithouse.

Macheda is called Macheda because he can run at MACH 2 #madeupfactsaboutmacheda

I think if we spend £4m on straightening Obertan's head geometry out, we'll be a VERY strong side. Spend £8m on Santon with a £12m loan deal for Kaka and I think we can realistically beat out Arsenal for fourth. Team for QPR Obertan, before head surgery, using his millennium dome size cranium to keep shots out Cabaye tek

Brian May was awesome. Guitar work in the first 5 Queen albums is immense.