Ayatollah Hermione

It's exactly the same as the PS2 GTA's only taken to their logical conclusion on next gen. Don't kid yourself that those PS2 GTAs weren't immature and stupid. BTW, 2Bias, if you can sit through the plots of Resident Evil games without tearing your hair apart, surely you can appreciate a game where you can wear a shark outfit and ride a segway around and do the macarena. Games aren't meant to be taken seriously anyway. The industry's biggest seller is Modern Warfare and that's basically written by a bunch of 15 year old military fetishists who have no idea how the real world works and think that explosions and badly put-together assassination plots are cool where you leap across giant mountains on a snowmobile. One of the games industries biggest sellers is a cartoon plumber who tries to save his girlfriend from a big dinosaur. Another one is an incomprehensible story about templars and assassins where you can leap off a 250 foot tall building into a pile of hay and survive. In days gone by, Lara Croft would fight dinosaurs, yetis and enter mystical dimensions to fight off little green people. A little elf boy with no official sword training will save the day from a tyrannical genius with help from a talking tree and a boomerang. Metal Gear Solid is so ridiculous I won't even start. Resident Evil, I'm fairly sure, is designed by insane Japanese prisoners of war who have watched too many Twilight Zone episodes. My point is, more games should embrace the inherent stupidity involved in video games. Saints Row does and is great and if you're not playing a video game over concerns of its stupidity then have a word.

I'll probably get a Wii U as I imagine it'll be as easy to softmod as the Wii. Playstation Move would be good fun if it was just nothing but light-gun games I can dive around my living room to. They should port Ghost Squad but throw in even more stupid unlockables. That Sports Champions disc golf game is fun though, if a tad slight on courses. In fact, if there was downloadable Disc Golf courses, me and my friends would have supported it. With regards to Nintendo consoles, they fucking LOVE peripherals. They're well aware of every shortcoming but they'll throw something in later on that you need to buy to utilise 2 controllers. Like when they waited two years to give you the ability to speak over their ridiculously shit online system through an overpriced microphone and then only gave it compatibility in a few games. Or the Gameboy Advance connector that was only really useful in Zelda games.

Reggae Rocky Dennis © The Big Sam

whats it like hating fun?

Aye, they'll be queuing up in droves for that one.

Let me just describe my last mission. I met up with a contact of mine; a pimp who can only speak through a blinged out voice box which makes everything he says auto-tuned, and his plan to get back at a gang full of samurais is to disguise me as a gimp so I can infiltrate a brothel and wipe out everyone in there. I wake up, naked as the day as I was born and clearly drugged up to the gills. My auto-tune pimp man meets me, gives me all my guns back and we have to fight our way out. In the main auditorium, there's snipers who are looking to shoot me in the balls so the only tactic I have is to get close to them, jump at them and break their neck with the sheer force of my gigantic genitals/DDT them like The Rock. Fighting on my side is a group of angry prostitutes brandishing 4 foot long dildos and as they help me through, I reach a security panel that lets me "Release the Ho's" Doing so opens some cages and angry ho's run out and get stuck into the remaining gang members. Once they're all wiped, I (still naked) have to fight a genetically engineered 9 foot tall, 5 foot wide brick shithouse of a gang member, who is carrying a mini gun. To kill him, I have to lure him next to some explosive canisters, shoot them and blow him to bits. All while naked. Buy this game.

That Boateng goal is lush. Is there any highlights of all the games available online?

That's what multiple save files are for, man What are the benefits of getting married btw? Can I only go questing once every fortnight?

Ashley Cole isn't the player he was either (though still good obviously) but aye, if he's out, as you say, we should be looking to do them at home. Ben Arfa hattrick of headers.

Don't go destroying the Dark Brotherhood. Got to have those cheevos, bro. Still too busy running around dressed as a bright green killer rabbit to play this, sadly.

If the Toon don't beat Chelsea, I'll honestly be disappointed. They look like they could be outdone by anything atm. It's a game where even Leon Best simply making a nuisance of himself to their centre halves will have a massive impact.

Thought to myself when watching it that they looked shit scared of him at times like. Once him, Cabaye and Ba get a good understanding, I'm looking forward to our attacking play.

I know we are

Used Lucien and he got chinned all over by the other lot. I have no luck with my companions. I've got that mace quest ready to go so it's a case of finishing it when I get back on. Hitting people with big rubber dildos is proving too much fun though. And that's before I turn my Xbox on, wahey

If we're talking potential bosmans, I'd rather have Hoilett.

As an aside, I once saw a Jew trying to haggle with a shop assistant in Woolworths to get a GameBoy Colour for cheaper. The things you remember.

So, I'm playing Saints Row 3 atm to take a break from the ridiculous amount of things I have to do in Skyrim but what's a good recommended level for the Daedric stuff when I return to it? Also, I'm starting to regret not picking destruction as a choice so I'm going to spend all my time setting fire to deer and innocent homeless people to boost it up so I can finally kill that Sanctuary Guardian in that one Dark Brotherhood mission. BTW, how hard is he? I tried the thing with the arrows where you send one into the wall in front of where he's patrolling and he walks off looking for it like a tit but that didn't work, he just caught me and chinned me. I had zero problems in Oblivion with my "punch things until they fall over" strategy.

Think Shipcote baths have a Jew-only session on a morning, I think. But I imagine half of their customers are Jewish anyway.

I was taught an entire term full of American history post-WWII to The Berlin Wall falling. I thought it was canny interesting tbh; civil rights especially.

Thank you for alerting me to the horrors of the holocaust. I had no idea.

See, Leazes says he makes these predictions but can ANYONE be bothered to sift through the usual arguments to find out?

is this what Newcastle Online is like these days Nah, its too sterile. Give me argy-bargy any day of the week. Tbf, loads of posters on there share your views. you mean, they realise that when they all disagreed with me, and banned me for it, I was right all along ?

Used to live about 30 seconds away from the Curry Garden that Gemmill mentioned and never went there. Will rectify that at the weekend and report back.

Here's Baggio, black by popular demand.

Excellent theory. I'm going to do that then kill my compatriots Dark Knight style