Ayatollah Hermione

Have a good one, mate. I know that the single housewives were truly disappointed with your marriage but hope it's treating you well.

He's a bit of a fanny but put anyone next to Coloccini, they'll probably be alright.

Tom is Stevie's IP Mole.

That first Weeknd mixtape. Man, I think this might be the best release of 2011, it's my favourite, I think. Ridiculously well put together RNB, great production, great hooks, nice drum machines, enough colourful instrumentation when needed. The second one really peaks with The Birds but the first one just goes from strength to strength. I've been coming back to this for a couple of months now. PJ Harvey singing about the atrocities of war with an auto harp may be enjoyable but there's something about this kid talking about wet fannies and shagging that works ridiculously well with his tunes. Gotye's tune is the best track of the year though, hands down. There's no way that lot can top that single because the album's not much cop and there's no precedent for them writing a song that good. Every crap poet has one good poem though, I suppose.

HERE MAN! Kadars the bestest CB we've got even though I've only seen him twice. PARDEW OUT! hew if you think he's good, wait til you cop a load of Stephen Folan up front.

I kna Name them now, Aeris. Though your definition of top class youth is a kid that couldn't get a game for Gateshead Liverpool's squad depth SHOULD be better than ours since they're throwing money about. Even then, Jamie Carragher still gets a game for them.

You go with the player that has had the most experience at the level you're at unless they're a youngster you have a lot of faith in ala Sammy (and to an extent, Ferguson). In cases like this, when have we been calling for a player to play that hasn't done, that has proceeded to leave and be amazing elsewhere? Majority of clubs wouldn't have played untested youth against Chelsea unless forced or they were something special.

Youngsters are sometimes shit and don't grow into the players the scouts may have originally thought. I bet we're signing younguns all the time. I literally can't believe this has to be explained to this kid.

Troo dat. Can see him ending up at QPR

Stop disrespecting the memory of him, lads.

Everyone bleating on about Chelsea not needing a player like Tiote is missing that Man U do.

Killed a dragon by punching it up the arse about 250 times. I am rock.

Class tagline on that book like.

I sit in Tilleys on matchday with my toontastic hat on all the time to no success.

Aye, well that's what charging £45 for a ticket does

Two big decisions that have went Chelsea's way in two games now.

Craic on Twitter from someone who watches the French league (could be a journo, nee idea) is that he's played out wide enough this season to suggest he could come in and usurp Obertan. Might be pandering to those who want Squidward shot like.

Swansea aren't a bad side at all IMO but a different kind of animal to Norwich in how they'll play against us. Play on the deck with some canny wing play and that Danny Graham isn't bad at all. Will be a tricky game but I expected it to be difficult with Coloccini and Taylor playing (resigned to no Tiote in black and white anymore), nevermind untested central midfielders. That Joe Allen isn't bad (but think he might be suspended?) so hopefully Cabaye can put his stamp on it. I'd expect us to do West Brom and Bolton like. West Brom are poor and any confidence Bolton may have had has been well beaten out of them.

The sheer number of twitter accounts have overloaded his mind.

Would be canny depressing if that were the case and Pardew felt he had to play that way in order to get Ashley to fork some cash over. I suspect Kadar just isn't very good and that injuries have knackered his development.

Exactly the game I was thinking of Completed a five yard pass and I celebrated it like a last minute FA Cup winner

Tallest dwarf in the circus tbh maybe so but was mint seeing him gan mental at the ref. Surprised he didn't bicycle kick him out of East Anglia

I think as long as we don't go down and can keep finding canny players to flog on, he'll be happy. A revolving door transfer policy is asking for bother though.

Shola was one of our best players on Saturday. FACTAMUNDO

Just because these kids are in our youth squad does not make them ready for Premier League football, man. Remember Matty Pattison? He was a similar situation and he was fucking SHITE in every game he played. He probably gave 100%, he just wasn't good enough. Much like the majority of our youth squad won't be.