Ayatollah Hermione

Manscaping. Man alive. You'll be buying Coldplay DVDs and defending Love Actually next.

What a big fucking puff you must be. Under the thumb in the best way possible and you're complaining about watching explosions, Alan Rickman and people throwing cars at helicopters. Headcase. As soon as the kids come along, you'll be espousing the virtues of Moulin Rouge like Boldon's Best Dad, Christmas Tree.

The thin bloke that's inside Stevie and crying to get out? Nah, he's the thin bloke that was swallowed whole when CT devoured a buffet in one sitting, the fat peasant. I manscape, but I don't shave pits, chest or tummy topiary. Will take the trimmer to the fuzzy little patch of hair at the small of my back. What a pointless piece of hair that is by the way. It's just an annoyance, like the carpet round the base of some people's toilet. You fucking what?

There is not a part of the Die Hard series that is poor. WTF is wrong with you people? If you are watching that going "oh this was done better in bloobedy blobbedy blurp" then reassess your life because you're on a one way track to the same mental asylum that houses CT's taste

Us for getting Ba for free?

"fat rentboy"

. In fifteen years, the same discussion will rage on about which one is Fitz Hall and which one is Pancrate btw.

I'm just happy to finally find out who the frig it is.

There's no "isn't really" about it, he blatantly isn't in contention to play central midfield ffs. Saltwater, stop being a doyle reet.

Can just imagine Jamouse going for his hair cut, saying "just give me a number 1 all over" then holding his arms in the air, shirtless.

I reckon they'd do alright as well with a better manager and certainly well enough to stay up. If Samba goes, that's them finished though.

tbh, as long as Smith doesn't play, he can play who he likes.

Die Hard five times.

Sounds like a good lass that one, MF. You big tit

Black Mirror was excellent last night. Proper telly.

Christ alive

can convey any emotion.

Well at least Scotland's youth have Kassidy and Biffy Clyro now, mate...

Having a wank whilst skydiving.

pray for monkeys fist

Joey Barton would have taken better corners than Cabaye yesterday. bite ye fuckers

Played badly in most games Fuck me, man. That must be why we're sitting in 7th. We've played badly once IMO and that was at QPR.

Can't recall them nearly scoring like. Krul had one catch to make all game. There was a cross fizzed across goal that none of their strikers were near and a deflected shot that went about 5 yards wide.

Aye, coming out of the match (and especially hearing some arseholes booing) and checking Twitter, it was hard to believe people were disappointed with the team performance. We battered them for 88 minutes basically, hit the post twice and if the final product had been better (as HF said, Cabaye was incredibly disappointing but nobody was groaning at every shit corner like they were when they perceived Obertan to have done something wrong). Would have liked to see Ben Arfa come on, maybe for Jonas who was a bit toothless compared to even Santon on that left hanf side. Don't blame him for bringing Shola on, has looked immense the past 2 games and gained us a point at Spurs as a sub but seems 3 good games on the bounce is too much for him. They were outstandingly shit in possession in the first half, mind. Reminded me of when Scunthorpe came up and didn't string 2 passes together.

Nobody played badly today, just wasn't happening for us. Thought there was lots of encouraging signs out there, as ever, though a bit wasteful second half. Perch didn't have much to do but done it well and Obertan had a very good first half IMO. I think any criticism is very harsh for those two today. Tiote looked off the pace for 20 minutes (to be expected) but looked solid afterwards. Really have missed him like. Big part of us dominating in midfield.