Ayatollah Hermione

Tbf, Karl Darlow is the alternative

Why is an 82 year old man, who has been out of the game for 12 years or so, and, as far as I’m aware, not employed in an official capacity, advising Man Utd on what to do? No wonder they don’t challenge anymore

New Clarence Clarity day. Good if you enjoy genuinely excellent melodic pop music hidden in an avalanche of noise and incomprehensible lyrics

Insane thread bump

Has to mention that he’s seen two tops He hasn’t, obviously, but it’s funny to imagine him thinking hard about which number would be a realistic amount. And he was still off by two

Should have probably scored more and probably would have done with Murphy or Gordon on the right. Still, job done

These commentators absolutely have to be the regulars for League Two as they seem to be oddly convinced that these Wimbledon lads are a lot better than they look here

Aye, didn’t realise he was that rapid.

In world football, Only Almiron would go with his left there

Fingers crossed they keep trying to do Miggy for diving and ignore every cunt else

Joelinton wide left and Willock behind him. Champions League incoming

Aye, hopefully the space opens up now. They’d have tired anyway but nice to not be leaving it late

Is this ref on a satellite delay?

Willock is a waste against a side like this tbh. Needs the space to run into. I know it’s hard when a team is set up to defend and frustrate but there’s absolutely no speed to our game here. We had more joy with the one-twos but they’ve been knocked on the head.

Can see why these haven’t conceded many but this midfield three could play for 2 hours and not sure they’d create a chance for Osula or Barnes tbh

Some of Kelly’s passes have been fucking shocking. I’m not convinced he’s a left back, like

Still a strong side. Was hoping to see Sanusi on the bench to hopefully get a run but he must be with the U21s tonight. Should really be winning with that team at home

I think Howe names quite a strong team tonight. Other than the odd position rotated, I think the likes of Willock, Tonali, Barnes and Burn will play. Maybe even Pope in goal.

So, we want a 65,000 seater stadium but no women, black people, foreigners in general or people who have once drove through an NE postcode are allowed in? Just keeping up

Aye, it’ll be him. Pretty sure he had some massive hit about getting revenge for 9/11

Was it Burn who raked his studs down the back of Haaland’s leg?

Another team that “won the window” amounting to fuck all as the season starts. People get far too blindsided when teams are busy

Has Ten Hag ever had his Man United team on a positive goal difference? The amount of times they get absolutely pumped at home is criminal. Long may he reign

I have Sky Sports News on but haven’t seen Steve Parish on there. He was all over it when they were flying. Come on then, you daft cunt. Pipe up now

The resemblance with Miggy and his bairn is unreal. Looks like someone has brought a Miggy Almiron Funko Pop to life