Ayatollah Hermione

“Trent” is a proper liability at international level, like. Even if you put him at right back, he’ll just decide to put himself into midfield anyway. Hopefully the Tuchel rumours are true as he might actually have the clout to make players play where they need to be, not where they want

There’s no way that’s not a mackem btw. Even by their standards, he’s not subtle

I am once more asking for a job where I can just work at home all day every day. Someone get me in, I’m not an idiot. I will be answering no further questions

That kid was a fuckwit when I was on there and it seems he hasn’t changed

The drum sound on that Stevie Ray Vaughan album every shit pub guitarist absolutely worships is so offensively bad that I can never listen to it.

These can’t defend to save their life so fully expecting Schar to be pinging balls over to Barnes and Gordon every time we get it

The insane amount of time and effort that the PL and Masters will need to dedicate to off the pitch legal issues as a result of bending over backwards to appease some American owners is fucking beyond belief. It’s a shambles from front to back and if Masters isn’t sent packing after this, I’ll be amazed. All of this because they were absolutely terrified that a team in 19th, with no wins, had been taken over and injected with some potential. FWIW, if there’s any argument to be made that we’ve lost earnings with an unlawful rule, I’d expect us to be the next in line with a legal challenge

I thought it was a bit crap too. An easy watch but felt like it just didn’t need to be made. Bit like the abomination that was Toy Story 4

Some of our players look like they’re never happy with the ball at their feet but I’d wager our passing accuracy is so low because we play a lot of balls forward to try and set people away or break lines. High risk, high reward and all that and I’d rather lose it in their half than ours

Good riddance to that shit hole of a stadium

I’ll be over the moon if Longstaff scores here. Just to shut up the knackers who HAVE to hate one of our players

Not to be all essembee but Murphy constantly shirking aerial duels is getting a bit annoying

Better team for me. Just need to tighten up in their half and find the finish

Another Craig Pawson game, another 22 completely baffled footballers

See, you’ve all got there before me. Never mind

Plenty of Newcastle representation on Sky

Great, he’s back on Facebook

Tbf, Karl Darlow is the alternative

Why is an 82 year old man, who has been out of the game for 12 years or so, and, as far as I’m aware, not employed in an official capacity, advising Man Utd on what to do? No wonder they don’t challenge anymore

New Clarence Clarity day. Good if you enjoy genuinely excellent melodic pop music hidden in an avalanche of noise and incomprehensible lyrics

Insane thread bump

Has to mention that he’s seen two tops He hasn’t, obviously, but it’s funny to imagine him thinking hard about which number would be a realistic amount. And he was still off by two

Should have probably scored more and probably would have done with Murphy or Gordon on the right. Still, job done

These commentators absolutely have to be the regulars for League Two as they seem to be oddly convinced that these Wimbledon lads are a lot better than they look here

Aye, didn’t realise he was that rapid.