Ayatollah Hermione

Get Maxi to put a word in with Mourinho and get Miggy to Turkey

God bless you 🫡

Navigated it all smoothly with no raised voices. It was a pleasant experience for me and the slightly dim lass I was on the phone to. I should be handling negotiations for Guéhi tbh

Got the holiday sorted. Move to a different, better hotel that’s adults only and we’re due an 8 quid refund. Can’t ask for better than that

God, it would be an outrage if the name of that specific seller got posted here

Unless a top side has a centre back who suffers a bad injury, we’re the only club in town so Parish is playing a dangerous game. You also have to consider that the player, by all accounts, wants the move. If we walk away/wait until January, they’ve got an unhappy player and they have to try and replace him in January if he forces the move then. The cunt has been desperate for a bidding war ever since Olise walked for less than they wanted

Diaz to Man City squashed almost immediately

I like Almiron. Think his graft is excellent and he’s played his part over the last two seasons with some incredible performances and goals but I wish he’d just fuck off

Signing of the season: Guehi to come in and take the defence up a gear Top goalscorer: Isak Most assists: Gordon Biggest surprise: We finally win at Anfield Best Young player: Hall will be called up to England Player of the season: Isak PL finish: 3rd Trophies? That fucking FA Cup is coming back

Even worse than his choice in guitars, this

Looks like Gemmill IS NOT having a BRAT SUMMER

If your relevant artist of choice these days is Taylor Swift, it’s not us you want to worry about

Think one of the Pet Shop Boys was baffled by Swift’s popularity by basically asking where the great songs are and I’m inclined to agree. Best you can say is that something like Blank Space is well put together but Shake it Off is annoying in the extreme and I’m hard pressed to actually name any others off the top of my head. Unless Gemmill is attracted to the early stuff about pining for high school quarterbacks who don’t even know he exists

Osula looks a handful, like. Took his goal well and just generally looks busy and full of running. Kelly could be a very good pick up as well, he’s a great passer. Lewis though Shit scared of having the ball

Clarke and O’Nien back to being better than Gordon and Bruno again, no doubt

I was reading the Guardian’s Championship preview and Louise Taylor had Sunderland in the Promotion candidate category and simply had to mention that they “regularly” get crowds of 40k She didn’t mention that was about 10 year ago

Madueke on loan with an obligation similar to the Hall deal really does seem like a no-brainer. Might be a solid tactic to just wait and see how many players Chelsea add to that bloated squad and just cherry pick whoever we want. Seems like Boehly just loves doing deals, no matter if it’s spending or selling

Winner of this gets the Champions League spot, aye?

I would cancel and rebook but not sure how much, if any, of my money I’d get back

Oh great, here’s me hoping I wouldn’t have to argue with some poor lass fresh out of a Travel and Tourism BTEC course but here we are

Right then, we’re a month out from our holiday and the resort has announced they’re doing renovations on the pool, two restaurants, the buffet and the theatre in our section of the place. Basically meaning that the actual holiday we wanted, based in the quieter area of the resort, is fucked. They’ve told everyone today and the renovations start from tomorrow for three month. Surely this is cause for TUI to get us rebooked somewhere else as that’s a total pisstake. The thing we’ve paid for essentially isn’t going to be what we get, other than the hotel room we’ll get being on a construction site. Anyone had experience dealing with them for shit like this? I’m sure their cancellation and refund policy protects them for stuff like this but they want to be shifting me down the road to somewhere else, am I fuck going there for two weeks where a third of the place is shut down

Tindall borrowing the whip off that lad from Castlevania to attack players who are slacking off

Basically means he’s as good as signed

MF could get you plenty films where people go to the toilet

I see the racists have been brave when they’re going against some understaffed coppers but have soon retreated back into their hovels now that reality has kicked back in