Ayatollah Hermione

Remember. The table counts for nothing until 10 games in. Unless we go second tomorrow, in which case, look at it all you want

Starting to think this might be a difficult old league this year

Haaland is an absolute joke. I know he always starts well and gets injured so he can Christmas off but fucking hell, it’s just relentless

You’d think he’d learn that any kind of attention on his managerial work would be unwelcome. He wants to keep his fat head down and be one of those sackings that goes unnoticed by 90% of people

Southampton look decent enough tbf. They can’t finish their tea like but they move and keep the ball well. Still, they can get fucked

I’m glad I checked in on everyone

Officially halfway through this Mexican holiday, have my first official hangover and am already ultra depressed about going back to reality and work. Should have just stayed at home

I’m sure his daughter will find it in her heart to forgive him considering he’s trying his best to get her limited talent a record deal

in general at Roker Mackem. He should just have come out with “FTM” like that one kid and saved himself some embarrassment

How many of “Trent’s” passes even come off? He’s batting at a far worse average than Schar

Meenzer laughing basically confirms that my pal’s gaydar is spot on tbh

His name is Joe Willock and he’s back in a few weeks

Tough on Ewerk to see his boys come across the new Brazil ‘70

If Fred had scored a couple of goals past the mags, they’d be campaigning for his murder hovel to be given protected status

If I was playing for England, I’d simply mime the anthem. Not like that pillow tongued idiot we’ve got as captain. Need a sneeze guard on the camera as it passes him during the anthem

I listened to that English Teacher album a couple months back and found it in the same vein as your Black Country, New Road stuff. Middle class post-punk that’s oh so very literate and intelligent

Also, Mackems on holiday update: no football tops but they were near us on the plane. Clapped when the plane landed, cheered when the rep read out their hotel name on the transfer and spent an hour pointing out words on road signs that were similar to English ones

Cancun Airport. Fucking shambles. 9 and a half hours to be launched into carnage. The Pina Coladas better be good

https://archive.ph/DKs8K Athletic article is ever so slightly more nuanced than Hopey the Shit Stirrer’s

Got to say like, that Mitchell interview has me thinking this all ends in tears with him and Howe

Also not looking forward to this at the resort. Hopefully they’re all in bed by half 7

Let’s hope he doesn’t try to go on any donkey rides when he’s there. That poor animal’s back will never be the same

Even Lewis must be finding it hard to believe he’s at São Paulo. He’s not a typical Brazilian full back, being generous

Mexico on Friday, boys. Strangely dreading the 10 hour plane tourney but the free drink will probably help. If I over indulge and end up trapped in a Mexican prison for life, it was good having a bit crack on with you all. Well, most of you

Sorry for your loss, Gloomy. Hope you and yours are doing as well as can be expected