Ayatollah Hermione

Can we get Joelinton on the left please

They talk about him like he led them to some glory but did he even play for them when they won the Papa John’s Trophy?

I’m seeing people predict us battering these but I don’t see it. I’m saying a tight 2-1

Who’s their next superstar that will go on to warm a promoted sides bench?

Drury’s commentary is shit from a toilet

If you must. From a safe distance only, please and I want to see no glint off your binoculars.

I’m out down the Fish Quay for an all day session, weather be damned. I’m like an Ice Road Trucker but instead of driving through the elements to deliver motorcycle parts to Alaskans, I’m fighting through wind and rain in a quest for a decent Guinness

Off to Berlin for a week or so in May now that Newcastle Airport has flights. Any recommendations bar the obvious sights? Bonus points for any good pubs off the beaten track

It’s been alright for me throughout. Must be the virility of youth

I’m picturing Fish falling down as fast as Peter Griffin

Kelly has been much better at LCB than at LB so I’m not too concerned with losing Burn. Kelly has got to see this as a chance to get his foot in the first team

And I have made Ana De Armas my top target for a steamy bout of top shagging.

Be warned, it’ll be on console first and then probably won’t get to PC for a year or so after

I see that cunt Geldof is trying to tell Africans they’re wrong about their own countries now

Silo is gold standard. It’s going to be a nightmare waiting until Season 2 is done so I can binge it

Do I need to watch that Batman film before watching it? If so, I’m fucked because finding time to watch a 3 hour film these days is nigh on impossible

Anybody migrated to BlueSky yet? I knocked Twitter on the head before it became an AI riddled, Cryptofascist hellscape but this seems like a deliberate throwback to 2012 Twitter. Hopefully it can keep the knackerjacks away for a while. Anyway, I’m VirtuaStiva if you want top notch content

Of course they do. First we gave them the vote and look where it’s led

Alex Scott is a shite presenter and I’m not even that racist

He’s probably shit the bed calling him a German cunt but everything else is fairly common knowledge. Though he did give that cheap free kick in the final that Man Utd scored from so fuck him

Stopping the film to show a quick educational video

Laughed at Richards saying Everton are “doing alright” on MOTD when they’ve won 2 games all season Proof positive that pundits just look at the table and make their judgement from there

I’d be surprised if the Saudis gave him a proper burial

I’ll be amazed how they manage to get to the conclusion that the refs were on our side today

Hard lines