Ayatollah Hermione

No Delap for them is a big boost. I could easily see him giving our centre halves a hard afternoon

Last night showed that, once more, to beat Liverpool, you have to also beat the ref so I’d rather not have that to contend with at Wembley as well. The deck doesn’t need stacked higher

What a bunch of spoiling, anti-football bastards they are. Still, a cakewalk in the end. Our left side is absolutely lethal and Tonali is the absolute daddy

As an aside, it’s crazy how so many uber talented young players taper off in their late 20s these days. Alli, Rashford, even Sterling to an extent. By product of playing so many games at such a young age? I’d add Sancho but he’s even younger and time seems to suggest he was a flash in the pan

Perfectly poised for us to nip in and win the Carabao against some leggy sides. So knowing us, Isak and Bruno will have injuries in the post

Finish at 6 tonight, quick change of clothes and into town for it. And I cannot be fucking chewed

From The Football League Paper but that can’t be right as apparently he’d be putting Gordon out of the England squad by now?

Aye, it was something else. Poor lad has spent all day sleeping apparently so he’s obviously been frightened and stressed wherever he was. Chinese has been bought and then I’m going to bed for 12 hours

Aye, the little cunt strode down the drive at half 6 this morning like nothing happened Luckily, my lass was looking out the window at the time and clocked him. She opened the front door and he darted back in. I’ve got a feeling that he was just over the road, either under one of the cars that hadn’t moved in two days or bunkered into someone’s overgrown garden. He’s spot on though. He was obviously anxious since he darted right in and then when he seen me, he sprinted at me for a head scratch. He’s had his tea and now he’s been asleep since half 7. We haven’t slept a wink so I’ve just had 4 hours there and managed to get a half day in to start later. The other cat is still a bit skitzy with him but she probably just needs to sniff his arse a couple of more times. To say I’m relieved is an understatement

One of the cats managed to sneak past us last night and get out and the little fucker has been lost for almost 24 hours now. He’s a totally indoor cat so I’m praying that he’s just holed up in a garden or garage nearby but my head is fucking wrecked with worry. I know they can find their way back but as it stands, I’m sitting outside with thermals and about 3 layers on, by the front door if he ventures back and I’ll be here until sunrise no doubt. So aye, shit Sunday

Let’s have these cunts. One of Liverpool or Arsenal to be on the end of an upset as well, please

Good result but if they survive, they’ll be very lucky. Much harder game next week against an Ipswich side that’s just beat a relegation rival away and needs to break their home duck. Vital we follow it up by knocking Brentford out the cup

Howe grimacing at that tackle on Willock because he knows Willock’s brittle bones can’t hack it

Underrated joy in this game is the camera cutting to Van Nistelrooy looking gutted. This is for every single time we played Man Utd from about 2001-2005

Would genuinely leave Murphy on here, he’ll get a hat trick playing against that fucking shit muncher at left back

Osula has to get at least 20 minutes here. With Wilson being a permacrock, we simply have to get him playing

Seen more commanding keepers at Sunday League

Danny Ward coming on means we need to shoot on sight

Bruno needs some lessons off Gordon

Time wasting at 0-1 down is classic loser Championship carry on

Great motivation

Is Murphy on spice? Stop trying to curl it with your left, you obviously can’t, dickhead

We’re at a rate of a suicide pass every minute here.

How have we lost the toss again?!