thebrokendoll

A plus i want ashley to go for a walk in the woods and get picked up by a tree harvester.

in my sports science like analysis of projected goal scoring figures for joelinton in the third tier of english football i discovered that peterborough supporters sang a song about ivan toney having a big knob. this may or may not have helped toney to hit the ground running with 7 goals in the first 7 games. regardless of whether joelinton has a big cock or not a favourable ditty that he has could very easily see the goals start flowing? also, it'd be more pleasing to the ear than 'brucey giz a wave' maybe.

FUCK OFF YOU DULL CUNT.

i appreciate this is hardly an exact science, however just for a chuckle.... playing for a premier league team against 3rd division opponents our £40m (i know) brazilian is notchimg up goals at the incredible rate of 1 in 3. equate this scintilating strike rate to the 27 games played by our mackem mates regular opponents and he'd be on 9. a quick look at the third division scoring chart means he'd be in joint 11th place with 7 other fuckers i've never heard of. well, apart from sunderland's chris maguire, who i think they all hated but now probably think is the dogs bollocks because he's better than charlie wyke. interestingly, joelinton's 1 goal for every 270 minutes played compares very poorly with those he's vying with in 11th place; so perhaps he's not even that good? lastly, top goal scorer in the 3rd division is ivan toney on 18. twice as many as that projected for our transfer record shattering striker. toney is knocking them in at the rate of 1 in 134 minutes, twice as quickly as our former hoffenheim, bundesliga superstar. just for further comparison, toney reportedy cost peterborough in the region of £650,000 i wonder if things are a bit strained between our mikey and nickson?

booooooo

bit disappointed in the negativity in here lads. we're nowhere near injury time yet.

just off to google.....

i guessed that mate! scotch or irish it's the work of the devil i reckon. won a bottle of laphroaig one year for having the dream team which scored the most points in the fixtures immediately before christmas, i was led to believe it was a good one. hideous, swapped it for 20 embassy regal! apologies to whisky (e) lovers everywhere!

does it give you instant heartburn as well?

god only knows. of much more pressing concern, does anybody have a recommendation for an alternative to whiskey gravy to accompany haggis? i cant stand whiskey.

hooray! our woes are finally over.

5-4 home win. 0-2 ht 0-4 90 mins 0-4 95 mins dubravka 96, 96, 96, 96, 96

my old man started taking to me to matches at the back end of the 60s. i rarely missed a home game thereafter till 2008. i got my first season ticket in the early 90s only because it became a necessity, prior to that i was only really aware they exsisted for upstairs in the west stand and likewise in the east stand once it was built. the old popular side was where i cut me teeth. as it stands it's completely unecessary to have a season ticket for nufc, not even to save a few pennies. on the contrary, hang on for a year or so and you'll be able to get one for nowt like the recent 10,000 backdrops for a sports direct advert. no disrespect mate, but you're courting the wrong people for your survey, because the current crop of nufc season ticket holders are the most profoundly stupid people ever to set foot in st james' park. oh and just in case you missed it the first time..... mike ashley is a cunt, i hope he gets sucked in to a jet engine.

he's an absolute cunt. hope a hellfire missile lands on his head.

in particular!

fuck knows mate. it'll probably turn out we've also bought woolworths as well.

canny article by reade, not for the first time. the reality is though there's nowt in it that only the profoundly stupid don't know anyway. actually... we may have one of those on here.

the mind can only boggle as to how much profit ashley would want on the £4m compensation we apparently forked out to sheffield wednesday to make bruce the lowest paid manager in the premier league.

won't believe that until a genuine and thorough breakdown of hoffenheim's accounts are made public. it makes no sense whatsoever. ashley/charnley/barnes have managed to piss off french clubs from lille all the way down to montpellier, (zigzaging their way enroute) with their protracted, penny pinching negotiations to such an extent owners/chairmen have threatened to never deal with newcastle again. they then crossed the border in to the basque region of spain and spent months haggling with eibar for lejeune. can't be arsed to do any reasearch (memory is failing me a bit) but i wouldn't be in the least surprised to discover our dealings with clubs in belgium and holland have lefr their directors traumatised as well. then all of a sudden, completely at odds with everything that's gone before and with seemingly with no competition for joelinton's signature we're led to believe ashley has sanctioned a £40m spend on a player whose ability doesn't even come close to warranting it. the fat cunt must've had a life changing summertime visit from the ghost of jacob marley and all the christmas spirits or a fucking severe bang on his repulsive skull. bizarre and surreal, you couldn't fucking hallucinate it.

for what? i'm fully on board with the bruce revolution of starting a match in injury time.

saturday? except we got three.

aye. it's odd that.

or maybe just the ability to see what's before their eyes?

we've been very unlucky not to be lucky in that half. our luck should change.

don't worry. we can still win this.