Haydnator

Only reason we went straight back up is because Chris Hughton, Joey Barton, Kevin Nolan, Andy Carroll, on form Shola, Jose Enrique, Colo at his prime and Steve Harper. We still had quality and characters: 2 things we are desperate for now.

Anything other than a win would allow Hull to catch us by beating Manchester United, although two defeats for the mackems at Arsenal and Chelsea could still mean a point would see us safe, depending on goal difference.

Well Man Utd are winning.

Just worked it out. 0.58

Where is he?

So, final game of the season is against Big Sam and will determine whether we are a Premier League club for 2015/16. But, rather than watching the dross on the pitch at St. James' Park next Sunday all fans will have their phones in their sweaty palms constantly refreshing the score for Hull vs Man United. If Newcastle win, regardless of the Hull-Man U result, Newcastle are safe If Hull fail to win, Newcastle are safe regardless of their result vs West Ham If Hull and Newcastle both win the mackems will be in the bottom 3 (haha) If Newcastle draw or lose and Hull win, we are down No one is confident for this game so I'm going to go 1-2 to West Ham. This should be fun.

Look, I don't know what everybody is worried about. Villa have got to the FA Cup Final but that cup run has endangered their Premier League survival, especially as they haven't got anyone who can score goals (that Benteke is rubbish). What do you mean, Villa are now safe? Well, anyway, Leicester will surely go down, what with their awful results in the first part of the season (that cup run didn't do them any favours either), plus they are foolishly relying on an experienced manager and fantastic commitment and team spirit from a squad of very average players. Oh, they're safe as well, are they? Well, at least we can rely on our old friends the Mackems to keep us up. Did you see those two embarrassing home defeats against Villa and Palace when most of their fans walked out? I don't know how they managed to beat that other team at home in between those two disasters. And what have they done? Employed some vastly experienced foreign manager with a funny name who claims he's never been relegated (these Mackems will believe anything!) to get them out of trouble. It'll never work. Oh, I see they're a point ahead of us now, with a game in hand. Gawd, who can save us now? Howay Mrs Doubtfire! You can do it!

Funny thing is, that is the only bloody thing he's blocked this season.

Hull City have never taken a point from Manchester United in the Premier League. Hull City have never won a Premier League game in the month of May. West Ham United have won at St. James' Park only 3 times in the Premier League, the last Hammers win at St. James' being back in November 2012: Kevin Nolan scoring the only goal of the game in a 0-1 away win. But, none of this record bollocks doesn't matter. Newcastle seem to love setting/breaking records for all the wrong reasons. Confidence next week = 0 (probably -10)

True. Sad, sad times.

Dummett or Williamson at center half? Then if I had the choice I would keep Dummett at CB and put Jonas LB, drop Raylor and put Abeid in. EDIT: Maybe even have Anita LB, had a good game vs West Brom.

Jonas played at LB today didn't he?

Yep. Front 3 of Ba, Ben Arfa an an on fire Cisse. Cabaye, Tiote and Gutierez in midfield. Can't remembered who was the injured lad though, like.

Shit. Just realised that Williamson is back for West Ham. No doubt straight back in the side, Dummett at LB.

This season? Err, none spring to mind... EDIT: Oh, City in the cup but, that is nullified by the following cup performance.

Can anyone actually remember a good performance under Carver? As in a FULL game, not just a good half here and there (like vs Arsenal at home and vs Chelsea away). His 2 wins are 0-3 vs Hull and 1-0 vs Villa. The Hull win was only because Hull were diabolical on the day and the Villa one wasn't exactly a good performance, it was a more get a scrappy 3 points, job done (wished we did that today).

And Big Sam would be a mackem hero for 'sending the mags down' and his cock will be sucked within an inch of its life over the internet by having a shrine thread dedicated to him on RTG.

True.

But then wouldn't you have fans angry for parking the bus with a 0-1 lead? If he did park the bus and we did concede then you would have fans saying 'we shouldn't be parking the bus against this shower of shite' and 'a protecting a 0-1 lead is stupid with our defence' and 'we should be attacking'? I agree, our wingers should have definitely not been that far forward, given the fact that the players we did have on the wing today aren't even wingers (Cabella and Sissoko were playing out wide weren't they? And they're both no.10s?) so our crosses were shite despite the fact that we don't have anyone to the attack crosses apart from maybe Riviere but Riviere has now only scored 1 PL goal in 18 hours. Our other striker in Perez can't attack crosses against stocky centre halves and even I'm taller than Perez (and I'm 14). We should have played through the middle exploiting their shite defence who have somehow got a worse goal difference than we have.

Is this the game where everyone will finally go full essembee on all of the players? Not just on this forum but the entire fanbase...

Only times I've felt ill over Newcastle was the first 0-3 derby defeat and 0-6 scouser defeat 2 seasons ago. My numbness began after seeing the players laughing and joking with each other after losing 0-4 at home to Spurs last season.

Just said that to use Carver's use of SBR, as he feels he's fit to be head coach because he made his cups of tea. On a more serious note, Newcastle's highest finish in the PL when I've been going to games has been 5th under fucking Pardew. *sigh*

After relegation, appoint me as head coach. Me, a 14 year old student from Chester-le-Street who's left bollock could do a better job than Carver: I know out problems, I love the club, I watched highlight of Sir Bobby Robson games and I got Newcastle to 3rd on Football Manager 2015 with no incoming transfers. #MeIn.