catmag

I once knew a bloke who was such a skanky student that he'd put tap water on museli in a morning. He was a complete weirdo like....

A Prayer for the Stressed Dear Lord.. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off. And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow. Help me to always give 100% at work... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20 % on Thursday, and 5% on Friday. And help me to remember... when I'm having a really bad day and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 1 to extend my middle finger and tell them to feck off!!

Nah man, it's "What's black and silver and sits at the top of the stairs?" 9025[/snapback] Question is, how the feck did he get up there in the first place? 9101[/snapback] Time travel

I'd love for Anthony to turn round and do a "Craig" "You never back me up, you make me look like an idiot. The way Makosi spoke to me then and you just sat there. What kind of a friend are you? I sit there and defend you all the time and you just sit there laughing.....wah...wah...wah...fucking wahhhhh.........." I hate Craig And I'd cheerfully slap Makosi into the middle of next week. Fucking woven-haired bint.

I think you should exsalmon your views on women Mr Watson!

The sight of Craig makes me feel physically ill and yet I keep waching it too

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite 9059[/snapback] Know your plaice, woman... 9060[/snapback] Cod, you do go on..... 9066[/snapback] Skate around the subject, why don't you? 9068[/snapback] I wasn't skate-ing around anything! There's obviously something wrong with your herring....

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite 9059[/snapback] Know your plaice, woman... 9060[/snapback] Cod, you do go on.....

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite! 9050[/snapback] Nae need to 'carp' on about it, then... 9056[/snapback] Haddock-way and shite

Aye. Most women love being treated like shit. You're absolutely right. 9046[/snapback] i know there was sarcasm there, but i couldn't care less, fact of the matter is the choices women make prove it. 9048[/snapback] They would be the choices they make in your experience? That's hardly the majority of women now is it?

Hey, I'm well aware that I've bitten and I don't give a shite!

Aye. Most women love being treated like shit. You're absolutely right.

I'll PM you the link. Don't want to spoil any of my future disguise surprises....

Sounds exotic

Nah man, it's "What's black and silver and sits at the top of the stairs?"

I think it's safe to say that No-one is surprised at that. 8812[/snapback] Ooops, I forgot. Isn't the prime purpose of women being put on this earth just for you to treat them like shit and then for them to be grateful that you showed them any attention in the first place?

My uncle was travelling home to South Shields after a boozy night in town one weekend when a lass (I use the term loosely having seen a picture of her) decided to bray a bloke she was with over the head with a glass bottle. My uncle and one of his mates stepped in to stop her and she went absolutely mental and eventually bit a chunk out of one of his forearms. Unluckily for her, my uncle is a police sargeant for Northumbria Police and she's since been nicely locked up for her trouble.

Will someone nip round the shop and get me a pint please? Just made a cuppa only to open the fridge and discover there's none in there.

Then there's the Muslim inflatable doll that blows herself up.....

Was that a whoosh? 8463[/snapback] Can't be. It's Ally, he never gets wooshed... 8465[/snapback] My apologies for even suggesting such a thing!

Was that a whoosh?

"....all my troubles seemed so faaaar awayyyyyyy............"

What a bloody nailbiter! Fair play to the Aussie tailenders like.

After all that it was the Google Toolbar uninstall that worked! Thank yooooo! Back to the cricket for me.......

But you can get on here to post the fact you cant get on the Internet? 8382[/snapback] Okay, I was being thick. If I install it on this account I assume I'll be able to use it across all accounts...