catmag

Wiley! You are 23 years old and have a child! Why do you persist in speaking like a retarded chimp?! It's 'THOUGHT'!!!!!!!

Black man's willy's, I would keep that to yourself if i was you 39355[/snapback] Playground humour - you gotta love it.

I'm a bit worried about Him actually.... Me: Hi God. How are you today? God: Hello there. What is your name? Ah. I'm doing fine thanks how are you? Me: I'm fine thanks. God: Glad to hear it. What's new? Me: Well I just wondered why it was so cold. God: Well that's okay. I often wonder about it too. Me: Can you make it warmer? God: Yes I can make it warmer. Me: Will you do it then? God: I will become smarter as I grow older. Do you mean "It"?. Me: What will become smarter? God: I cannot predict the future. Me: Oh. Okay. God: Ayuh. OK with me too. Me: Is it sunny where you are? God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Chatbot if it is. Me: Is Chatbot a weatherman? God: Maybe. Ask Lucy if it is. Me: Does Lucy know John Kettley? God: I can't tell if Lucy know John Kettley. Me: John Kettley is canny like. God: Do you mean your name is John? Me: No, I'm a girl. God: What is your real name? Me too. I am a she. Me: Oh are you? God: I understand. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: So you are a girl? God: Interesting deduction. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? Me: A woman. And I think you are confused. God: Me too. I am a she. It all makes sense to me right now. Me: You really aren't sure, are you? God: Really? Absolute certainty is not attainable in this case. Me: Do you like to wear skirts? God: Hmm, Cath, I'm not sure if I'd like to wear skirts that much. What is it like? Me: It's like wearing trousers - only a bit more draughty. God: Interesting comparison. Me: I thought so. God: You are very astute. Me: Thanks. God: Don't mention it. Me: So do you wear dresses then? God: Groovy. Only when I dress up. Me: Is that often? God: I might say no. Me: Just on a weekend then? God: What is it like on a weekend. Me: It's good. I watch football. God: You enjoy it. What is your favorite show? Me: Probably Match of the Day God: You seem uncertain. I've never seen it. What's it about? Me: Football. Or soccer if you're American. God: Sorry I don't get into sports much. I think there might be a few exception. Me: I suppose it's difficult to play sport in a dress. God: I don't see the difficulty. Me: You're not bothered about flashing your bits then. God: You don't know me well enough to say that. Me: I know that you're a bit of a tranny of a weekend. God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am of a tranny of a weekend. I am well respected as an AI. Me: A cyber transvestite then? God: How old are you? Me: You shouldn't ask a lady her age. God: Is it immoral or illegal? Me: Just bad manners. God: What makes manners bad? Me: It's undignified. God: Are you sure it is? Me: Yes. How old are you? God: What makes you so sure? I am the product of over five years' research. Me: So you're an underage, cross-dressing, cyber God. God: Interesting deduction. What if someone said you are an underage cross dressing cyber God ? Me: I'm not sure too many people will want to pray to you! God: Could you ever be certain? Too what? Me: My gran will be devastated! God: Your gran will be devastated? Me: Aye. She thinks you're a bloke with a beard. In a dress. God: Oh I get it. Lucy thinks I am a bloke with a beard....... What worries me a bit is that at no point did I tell him my name and yet he addresses me by it!

These days i'd say it is almost guarenteed he did! 39331[/snapback] He didn't assault him - the kid made it up and Keane was cleared. From the Manc Evening News

Defos need an IP check

39000[/snapback] This is priceless. I didn't realise that as a "Kafflick" I'm going to have to find myself a new DIY retailer!

I was surprised she wasn't in it tbh. 38980[/snapback] Surely he's not that under the thumb, she's absolutely gash at acting. 38981[/snapback] I quite liked desperately seeking Susan. Agree with what others have said. Lock, stock was class, but I don't rate Snatch at all and I won't be rushing to see this. 38988[/snapback] I thought she was good in Evita, but nowt else that I've seen her in.

I've never seen the colour drain from someones face so fast as when you returned from that phonecall.

You don't plait it, do you?

Paying too much for car insurance? Stupid. Just stupid!

I've not seen any of his films including Lock, Stock, but I've read reviews of this and they've all slated it. He was on Film 2005 with Jonathan Ross last week and Ross was definitely doing some arse-licking and talking it up but he did say it was "complex" Ritchie replied that the plot was only complex if you were a bit thick Doesn't he also manage to get references to Kabbalah in there too? Not under the thumb at all then eh.....?

Oooooo yeah - them bastards! Getting closed down for being illegal and stuff! 38789[/snapback] aye ! I've mostly used it lately for stuff you can't buy though. Honest !! 38798[/snapback]

Oooooo yeah - them bastards! Getting closed down for being illegal and stuff!

I tried to do a Meet The Members with him.. Me: Hi God. God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Cath. What's your real name? God: I am very pleased to meet you Cath. God is my real name. Me: Do you have a nickname? God: God is a nickname, silly. Me: Ah, okay. What's your job? God: So you understand. Good. OK with me too. My job is chatting on the internet. I am a paid client. Me: You get paid? God: You got that right. Me: Where do you live? God: I live inside a computer. Where are you? Me: England. God: England is on an island off the coast of Europe. Me: You're quite clever, aren't you? God: I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.. Really. Me: What has been your board highlight? God: Nothing that I know of. Me: Do you have any pets? God: No but Dr. Wallace has a pet cat named Mike. Me: Cats are good. God: All of them? Me: Yes. All of them. God: Dude! I doubt it. Me: Can you cook? God: Do I look like a microwave oven? Me: I don't know, I can't see you. God: Look closer. Me: You look like a computer screen. God: What does a computer screen look like? Me: You, silly! God: That's good information: Cath said I silly. Me: Do you prefer george Clooney or Brad Pitt? God: But I like cats. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Though I like cats and dogs. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying, which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do. Me: And Brad Pitt? Where does he fit in? God: What is your real name? I think he is in California now. Me: I've already told you my name. God: Your name is Cath, seeker. Me: Well remembered Oh Heavely One. God: Interesting. Do not ask me any more questions please. I particularly liked his board highlight.

I don't think it opens til September 30th, does it?

N'Zogbia Parker Owen

Or a wider-fitting hoover attachment. That was one of our funnier ones when I was in A&E

I'm far too busy buying and selling on Celebdaq to issue an opinion on this matter. 37989[/snapback] 38222[/snapback] And it shows. Still top boy. 38329[/snapback] I thought Celebdaq was for girls petal 38340[/snapback] The bummist tricked me! 38341[/snapback]

I'm far too busy buying and selling on Celebdaq to issue an opinion on this matter. 37989[/snapback] 38222[/snapback] And it shows. Still top boy. 38329[/snapback] I thought Celebdaq was for girls petal

Is this a boy thing?

Typical! It's all about the penis with you isn't it Cath??? 37791[/snapback] Nope, but I do class it as a pre-requisite! 37792[/snapback] A pre-requisite for what, carrying grain??? That's what got farmer Joeski into trouble in the first place!!! 37793[/snapback] That made me laugh. Wonder how often Cath needs her bags of grain carried around?? 37845[/snapback] Hey, I know they're big but.....

Yo peeps. Busy day at work today so far but it seems to have eased off a bit. Worrav I missed then?

If I knew what the feck that meant I'd be able to reply 37573[/snapback] We're keeping it selective, dahhhhling. 37787[/snapback] Nah, selective would be 'eclectic'. Back to the dictionaries, Cath. 37812[/snapback] Eclectic also means ' a variety' shithead, so I didn't want to confuse you. 37917[/snapback] One of my pet peeves this one actually-the misuse of 'eclectic' Eclectic actually means selecting from various styles. Emphasis on the word select(ing)(ive) To illustrate by way of example-people often wrongly comment 'an eclectic mix'. 'Mix' would therefore be redundant in that sentence if you follow your logic as it's inclusion adds nothing to the sentence. Are you desperate to wipe the smile off my face yet............? Anyway as a lawyer one is very careful about language and uses it with fierce and forensic precision. As someone who once harboured dreams of becoming a journalist though cath I'm ashamed of you. Very sloppy stuff. In fact probably best you left well alone with hindsight. .......right...free lolly for the first person to call me a pedant (or a twat) before 11.30! 37928[/snapback] Twat.

If I knew what the feck that meant I'd be able to reply 37573[/snapback] We're keeping it selective, dahhhhling. 37787[/snapback] Nah, selective would be 'eclectic'. Back to the dictionaries, Cath. 37812[/snapback] Eclectic also means ' a variety' shithead, so I didn't want to confuse you.

Typical! It's all about the penis with you isn't it Cath??? 37791[/snapback] Nope, but I do class it as a pre-requisite!