catmag

'Someone'

I know, I just can't get the night off work. Bought my bro Dylan Moran tickets for March too but can't go to that myself either. Ed Byrne on my birthday though, so that's some consolation.

Anyone with little people who like The Snowman might be interested in this.. http://www.sagegateshead.com/tour-dates/the-snowman Just booked a couple of tickets myself. The bairn doesn't break up from school til the 22nd so it'll get us in the festive spirit.

Bit of a long shot but I've got 2 tickets for Jason Byrne at the Gala theatre in Durham for this Saturday going begging if anyone wants them.

Oh fat Bob, Bob the blob, fat blobby bastard Bob. Legend for a day

How soon can you be here?

Gogglebox at 9.

You are such a child

I let my dad in earlier but only because he brought some milk and a heat pack thing. That'll have to do for today, but thanks Parky.

“If your hands are gentle and loving, your patient will feel the sincerity of your heart, his soul will reach out to yours and God’s healing power will flow through you both” ~ Auntie Margaret Machado Really? Massage is not an option at the moment. If anyone so much as gets within a foot of me I will end them.

Like someone is stabbing me through the shoulder blade when I breathe. Took diazepam before bed and it worked amazingly til I woke up at 3am by trying to turn over. Came down to make a brew and have some painkillers and couldn't pick up the kettle. Pathetic man Thanks for asking.

Screechy nonsense. Smith has bragged that he wrote the thing in 20mins and you can tell.

Shouldn't you be at some GUM clinic or at least washing your flaccid cock in bleach?

I got my first Christmas card through the post yesterday. WTF?

Sorry, my husband will be home soon and I've got nappies to change..

Ended up in A&E at 4am (in the middle of my shift) with a trapped nerve in my back. Never felt pain like it. Now spaced out on diazepam and codeine which hasn't stopped the pain but I just don't care anymore, which is almost as good.

Clever! I like it

Stick it up your arse

The world needs more grammar police. And that was nowhere near as vicious as I can be when provoked.

There are no words

This was the first single I owned, aged 6.

It's not normally my thing but I loved it. On my actual birthday I went to the pub quiz at my local and that was class too

Lads, you know that surprise we were planning for Gemmill's 40th next month? Best knock it on the head I loved my 40th birthday party but only cos I'm a control freak and meticulously planned it all myself, chose all the music and was selective about the guests. I don't think I'd have liked it to be sprung on me.

Is this the equivalent of girls going to the toilet in pairs?

Made chocolate fudge cake. Our surgeon couldn't be bothered to go up to the kitchen for a knife..