Renton

I'm a visual person. Couldn't resist.

That'll explain the puzzled zoologists the next day. "Dr Smith, come and see this, we appear to have a new species of Brown Trout living in the fountains of Trafalgar Square. This is amazing, how did it get here?"

I'm a fairly regular match goer and not once seen a fan in a tea towel etc. It must have happened very occasionally because there are photos, but its definitely not a remotely common thing (must be <0.01%). Also I'd say there's not been a greater feeling of local pride since the Keegan days. If this is what Sports washing is, I'm not losing any sleep over it.

*Shudders* Is that lass who looks like she is about to do that Sunderland defecation thing actually pregnant? Fucking hell. I haven't seen any bad behaviour from our lot this time round. I'm not on much social media but I do follow the SMB for a mood lifter and sure as hell they would have posted something if there was.

Great post. Absolutely nailed it.

Player ratings (out of 10): Nick Pope: 10 Kieran Trippier: 11 Fabian Schär: 10 Dan Burn: 12 Tino Livramento: 11 Sandro Tonali: 12 Bruno Guimarães: 10 Joelinton: 12 Jacob Murphy: 10 Harvey Barnes: 10 Alexander Isak: 11

Fucking hell.

Fucking hell. I take it back about looking like a sixth form cafeteria. Looks more like a primary school dinners hall from the inside.

I was wondering what margin it would take me to relax. I think maybe 4 goals? After all we were 3 goals the better against Forest and nearly blew it.

Aye, I will definitely be more relaxed. The league would match this imo.

It's standard American fare. I love the odd burger personally. Used to be expensive but not now as everything else has gone up relatively more, so was okay value. I also kind of collected HRCs, been to 20 or so around the World. Anyway, its a shame imo.

Really? That's a shame, my kids liked it. Was always very busy when we went.

Had a new portrait taken.

But just like when Gemmill rewatches Titanic for the 600th time, you'll still cry at the ending.

So that's what MF sounds like?

This is the new high end corporate bar opening at the Stadium of Light. Looks about as perfunctory as you could get, like maybe a the entrance to a cafeteria for a sixth form college. What I find amusing is how excited the fans of massive lads are. Main benefit seems to be priority pass for the toilets so you don't have to shit on your seat.

That reminds me, they hate Jordan Henderson now too.

I still laugh at the perfect symmetry of him relegating them to the third tier playing for Burton Albion. It was so ridiculously perfect I almost became convinced of the existence of God and that he was a Geordie. There's hardly any of their former players they haven't turned against. A lot even seem to hate Phillipsy and even Defoe after his second spell. Luke Onion had better be warned. Think they still like Niall Quinn and some player called Michael Ball, or Ballsy, for short. Oh aye, they still like Adam Johnson, of course.

Dear me, they are getting very upset now because our celebrations are planned on a Saturday, the same day they play Millwall in a now meaningless league game. Apparently anticipated crowds of 250,000 show how needy and cringey we are, whilst at the same time are very low for a proper "big" club. If they had won in 2014 they would have been too classy to celebrate as well. Oh, and it's all a ploy by NUFC and Nexus to shaft Sunderland on their match day. I was gonna go but too scared to now in case this hilarious thing happens.

Boro in 2024 tbf, just the mackems letting the side down. Can't believe it was 21 years since Boro won it like, Jesus, seems like a decade ago to me tops.

At the end of the day they are melancholy, they are from Sunderland, and they were born illegitimately. If only I could express this more succinctly.

3?

Good, I'd just booked a deposit for a mother's day meal and was worried they'd do this on the Sunday, can attend now. You know what, I was shitting myself yesterday to the extent I couldn't even look up the result. Now we've got this fucking obese gorilla of our backs no more. This was more important than CL qualification or anything else. This is psychological liberty. This is the start of a new era.

Dubravka has two winning medals despite not appearing in a final.

Listening to Nicky Campbell on R5 now. It's a complete Magedia lovefest. Campbell has just pissed off for a cuppa and handed it over to the fans to say how great it is.