Renton

Half of them look like Ian Paisley. Fuck this, I'm out for my morning walk.

Makes you think though. I've just put on the telly and the BBC is back to back coverage of the pope's funeral. See Trump is there. I can't help thinking a small tactical nuclear weapon detonated in the Vatican cleaning the slate of these abusive pious hypocrites wouldn't be the worst thing. Makes you think.

17 years man. Feels like nowt considering the gravity of what he did. I mean Kevin Keegan was manager of NUFC then. For the second time under Ashley. Blink of an eye.

Not Julio Arca? I think he went to South Shields as manager too.

Imagine having the likes of Cattermole and Luke Onion as your club legends man. Who else have they got? Someone called Ballsy literally nobody outside of Wearside has heard of and a smoggy paedo. Meanwhile we have the like of Isak, Shearer, Keegan etc.

Well a lot literally say they don't. The championship is the best leygue in the world marra. Problem is, if you win it, you're not in it it any more. Proper head scratcher. That's why they aim for third and pay off defeats as the ultimate target

Some of these teams are playing each other. Villa city midweek for instance. They aren't all going to win all games and we don't need to win our next 5.

This in fact.

Shows to me the best way to beat us is to play like us. We do play in a similar way to each other, and since cardigan cunt got the gig there the results have see sawed to dramatic alternate wins for either side. This was their turn. We'll be fine though, Ipswich at home is what the doctor ordered, we could do with the doctor getting Eddie well though as well.

I thought it was a new feature to help us cope with football drubbings and censor the bedwetters. The predictive nature of the algorithm was quite impressive. 👍

Is this some number sequence from the 1% club?

Jesus Christ you're getting as pissy pants as CT.

You don't get as leggy when you're on a winning streak. They will be down after getting dumped out the CL. Last 3 matches against them: 5-1 (h) 3-1 (a) 3-0 (h) Whose scared of who? Let's fuck them up again, the boring brummy cunts with their cardigan wearing nerd cunt.

Remember this is the Daily Mail you've linked to, for balance.

Jesus Christ, getting PTSD about the time I snapped my banjo string, sheets like Patrick Bateman's.

What are they sitting around a giant bottle top?

So then my take from thus is that xG only take account the final touch of the ball, is that right? If that's the case I think it's a canny useless stat and it explains the anomalous score last night. Surely the whole attacking build up needs to be considered?

I like to think I am a prick, not a cunt.

Not always it seems, that's the debate. I think this stuff should be kept well away from politics and remain a judicial issue. Politics should be 80% about economics, 15% about spending, 5% about foreign policy, and 0% about social justice wedge issues imo.

I was thinking exactly this last night. Feel almost sacreligious, but this team is just objectively better than Keegan's best in all departments. Am I enjoying it as much? No, I'm not because I am a much older jaded man who just doesn't have the carefree joy and exuberance I once had. And this is almost personified by the managers, Keegan was a tidal wave of optimism, whereas Howe is much more guarded, objective, and circunspect. I suspect the latter is a strategy more likely to be maternally successful (materially as in winning stuff). But I am still massively enjoying it as much as I can about a sport played by overpaid stars kicking a lump of synthetic leather around. I hope the youngsters today appreciate it, I am sure they do.

Me too, this however was Gemmill last night.

Hey Omar, you know how we've struggled to get M'Bappe to sign, Gucci Massive has given me an excellent idea...

Wrong. We are secretly spending it in huge offshore accounts the players will access at the end of their careers. Could be bollocks apparently but is now solid FACT in the Land of Fans of Massive Lads (otherwise known as FML).

Tbf they've nowt to play for until the traditional play off defeat by Coventry.

Well, I thought Eddie Howe might be a good coach getting the best out of our players but turns out he's not, it's just they're all dope up. What do I know?