@yourservice

Beresford

After flying the Magpie's nest, I thought he would've had a Swift return to management. No doubt he'll be flapping about searching for a Martins replacement.

I'm Ryan Dunn and I call this one, 'Natural Selection'.

A foreigner will wear the No.9 shirt.

ITK tweet?

It was the chuffin' eve of a european away game in germany a few Donkey's Ears ago. manchester united were playin', but newcastle united were givin' them a ran Hammer and Tack Pope in Rome. a few journalists, a few Britney Spears and the bloomin' Rabbit and Pork turned ter that most futile of debates: wot constitutes a big Rub-A-Dub? specifically, did newcastle na qualify? there was a significant geordie presence 'round the Betty Grable. the sceptics were outnumbered. and yet, as much as anybody ever wins a rub-a-dub 'rgument, we thought we carried this wahn. our case was that the reach of a truly big Rub-A-Dub must extend beyond their locality. international stature was required, and therefore a significant european pedigree. newcastle were 'uge in the norf east, granted, but invisible beyond. saucepan lids in 'reas not served by a premier league footie Rub-A-Dub did not gravitate towards them the way they did manchester united or liverpool. Ca and Calf of singapore were not signed up ter the supporters’ Rub-A-Dub. fervent support: while relyin' upon wahn of the Mae West fanbases in england, does that make newcastle a big Rub-A-Dub? name the biggest Rub-A-Dub in germany. easy: bayern munich. na the second. the consensus was for borussia dortmund, very Pin' Pong at the nickle and dime. and the third? there was much discussion. finally, it was agreed: 'amburg. and nobody even mentioned schalke 04. nobody advocated the third best-supported Rub-A-Dub in germany, regularly pullin' in crowds of more than 60,000 from the industrial outpost of gelsenkirchen. schalke were omitted for the same reason newcastle would be absent from any list of english juggernauts — 'cause they 'ad never experienced mother's pearly gate success in europe. 'amburg played nottingham forest in the 1980 european cup final and signed kevin keegan in 'is prime. these men, of a certain age, aw knew 'amburg. Current Ban would recognise schalke as grea-ter simply 'cause of local support. qed, the same applies ter newcastle. na, who’s gettin' the Britney Spears in? and wifaht wishin' ter reignite the 'oariest of disputes, never 'as newcastle’s Drum in the 'ierarchy of footie been more relevant than na, 'avin' Kate Moss-ed 'rguably their Mae West performer, kevin nolan, ter second-tier west Uncle Sam united. nolan missed aahhht ter joey barton in the player of the year polls, but barton is likely ter be on 'is way, too, as is jose enrique, jonas gutierrez and perhaps fabricio coloccini. even wif £35million from the sale of andy carroll in the iron tank, the men 'oo Jack Jones newcastle 'ave looked at the Cucumbers and decided many salaries 're too rich for their tastes. size does matter. the toon Daft and Barmy will consume the dreadful new Dicky Dirt and fill the Penny-A-Pound as always, they will plaster the name of demba ba on the Hammer and Tack while waitin' for the next local 'ero ter emerge, but it is nah longer in the buff. nolan was earnin' roughly £45,000 per Bubble And Squeak and was offered an extra year on 'is contract at niftey,000, plus a a monkey,000 bonus if newcastle finished in the whistle and pop Cockle. west Uncle Sam proposed £55,000 per Bubble And Squeak and the chance ter Kathy Burke wif sam allardyce again, and nolan took it. potential is the Brenda Lee 'ere. west Uncle Sam may be in the championship, but the Rub-A-Dub 're eyein' a swift return ter the premier league and a move ter the cavernous olympic stadium. mike ashley, newcastle owner, clearly believes 'is Rub-A-Dub 're operatin' at capacity. wot would it take ter compete wif the new elite as represented by manchester city and chelsea, or even those bubblin' under, loike liverpool or tottenham 'otspur? ashley needs resources that newcastle cannot generate Jack Jones, Bread and Honey that requires global revenue streams 'e 'as been unable ter exploit. 'e either throws 'is Jack Jones fortune at the problem, or finds a conservative third way. so newcastle 're in limbo. Beechams Pill big on expectation, 'ope and desire, just not big in the buff ter stop their Mae West midfielder droppin' a division. previous owners may 'ave been unrealistic in their ambitions but at least they shared them wif those in the gallowgate end. ashley, an outsider, simply sees newcastle for wot they 're. 'e would 'ave been on the side of Potatoes in the mould, 'ard logic that night in germany but where is the fan in that?

Fat pig.

cheaper so its "good business". Interesting that despite the mirth surrounding Jordan Henderson [until Liverpool finish miles higher in the league next season], Liverpool see him as a more worthwhile acquisition for that fee they paid than a free transfer player ? They've been burnt recently by injury prone players who arrived on apparent frees. They were heavily compensated for costing 'nothing' and so with Marveaux no doubt they didn't want to take that chance so offered lower wages. He won't have failed a medical with them but they slipped that little doozy to the media because it will satiate their fans who will feel they've dodged a bullet. Perhaps they have, only time will tell. We've obviously paid more (or had better incentives loaded into our contract). Like them we've been severely burnt by injury prone players, but we have an owner who likes to take a gamble. A gamble like disbanding a successful side because you think you can make some cash and lower your outgoings by doing so. Maybe they should take a look at their medical team. Going back as far as when they failed Beresford and Keegan snapped him up, and recently with Aquilani and Carroll etc.

Vicente Rodriguez, another left winger? Clicky

I can see Perch hooking up with Hughton again, if Hughton gets the Brum job.

http://www.sundaysun.co.uk/sport/newcastle...79310-28901518/

Get them in.

I'm not sure it's the normal tips tho

A few out the door would top it off aswell - Perch, Smith and Raylor etc

Wouldn't the Leazes end reply in a high-pitched chant?

http://ketilstensrud.com/2011/03/20/under-...lvain-marveaux/