beatty

Hope Arma is coming on for Gouffran.

This is shit. We're lopsided, going down the left every time. Gouffran offering absolutely nothing except poor passes, awful corners and stationary movement.

Shit touch by Gouffran, Colback flies in with a shit tackle. What great football from those two.

Anyone spot Gouffran let his man go on that freekick? His man was the guy that should have scored.

In possession, Ayoze is twice the player he was at the start of the season. Jesus, that lad is going to be incredible. Dummett with the freekick, are you shitting me?

Cisse's been ill all week and only started training on Thursday, so isn't fit to start. No way he comes in for Gouffran anyway. Gouffran is the first name on the teamsheet for games against superior opposition.

NUFC: Alnwick; Janmaat, Coloccini ©, S.Taylor, Dummett; Sissoko, Colback, Tiote; Gouffran, Perez, Ameobi subs: Woodman, Haidara, Williamson, Cabella, Armstrong, Riviere, Cisse SAFC: Pantilimon, Vergini, Reveillere, O’Shea ©, Brown, Cattermole, Larsson, Gomez, Johnson, Wickham, Fletcher subs: Bridcutt, Rodwell, Altidore, Alvarez, Coates, Buckley, Mannone

https://twitter.com/squires_david/status/546218574474252288/photo/1 Wonderful

Would love to, but cannot.

Will happen. Because:

Ben Arfa total minutes in PL an EL for NUFC: 4648 Goals: 13 Assists: 11 Minutes per goal: ~357 (~4 games per goal) Minutes per assist: ~422 (~4.7 games per assist) Minutes per goal/assist: ~193 (~2.15 games per assist/goal) Yoan Gouffran total minutes in PL for NUFC: 4740 Goals: 9 Assists: 4 Minutes per goal: ~527 (~5.85 games per goal) Minutes per assist: ~1185 (~13.16 games per assist) Minutes per goal/assist: ~364 (~4 games per goal/assist) (Just stealing these from n-o, reference goes to Smal - ta, Smal)

HBA (48 starts) 1 goal per 3.5 PL starts 1 assist per 4 PL starts Gouffran (56 starts) 1 goal per 6 PL starts 1 assist per PL 14 starts Obertan (26 starts) 1 goal per 13 PL starts 1 assist per 4 PL starts R. Taylor (31 starts) 1 goal per 10 PL starts 1 assist per 6 PL starts Sissoko (61 starts) 1 goal per 8 PL starts 1 assist per 7 PL starts Juan Mata (96 starts) 1 goal per 3.5 PL starts 1 assist per 3 PL starts.

Definitely, there's blame attached to both Hatem and Pardew.

Is it me or has Arma gained an inch?

Williamson, Dummett, Colback axis of doom. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM And Alnwick, an orange doomsday device.

Tickets sold, not bums on seats. Yeah, it is misleading and it's their standard practice.

Got lucky.

Andy Carroll is back! Scores his first goal since the dawn of time.

Where were these inspirational team talks in our relegation season?

Ayoze's best shift outside the box today. I had been a little worried about his play outside of the box, but always had that assumption that his shaky general play would clear up as he grew in confidence and familiarity to the league.

Dummett looks long.

"I wont be discussing transfers today" "I've got nothing to say on the matter" "Obviously Moussa has caught the eye and rightly so. He's put in some top performances..." and so on, skirting around the question. PR training, hello?

So it took Alan until half time to act on the obvious; no more long balls. Shame Dummett completely ignored that instruction.

Pardew "delighted" with that. Fuck my balls.