luckypierre

Dire fuckin Straits

one of my mates decided to take his cheating, much hated girlfriend back. Early one Saturday morning two of the lads were walking back from town and spied her car outside his house. They both decided it would be great fun to lay a turd on her bonnet, spell out some obscenitites with it and also wedge some shit under her door handles. 30 secs after seeing her out the door as she went off to work my mate said she came rushing back in, crying hysterically as she ran to the bog to throw up.

I've been known to lay a few sheets on the seat in certain toilets. 78102[/snapback] Meaning sheets of toilet paper. I wasn't some pervert typing in a Mexican accent just then. 78105[/snapback] As for paper usage, it just depends, doesn't it - bollocks to this three wipes rule. Recently though for some reason I've been having a lot of paper savers, which is nice. 78107[/snapback] the shit where you wipe and the bog roll is clean is a thing of beauty tbh.. though if your settling yourself down for a big session and are prepared with a paper/magazine etc it can be disappointing. recently Ive had what can only be describe as explosive shits. They sneak up on you and the first warning is a huge stomach cramp then its a mad rush to the nearest bog. Its then three rolls rather than three sheets, its solid like, no sign of weebum. Cant decide whether its the 6 pints of Staropramen or the foot long subway afterwards thats the cause..

public bogs and lay-bys?

hmmm.. got a job interview tomorrow but Ive woke up this morning with the tell tale signs of the flu. Im not feeling too bad at the moment but obviously its going to get worse.. now do you ring up and cancel at this late a date (it will actually have to be tomorrow morning, a full hour and a half before the interview, as I dont have the details on me) or do you fill yourself with as much beechams max strength as possible, explain at the beginning you dont normally sound so dopey and hope it goes well?????

Could well be wrong but I thought the genreal consensus was that him and Owen werent that a good a partnership at Liverpool and the fact they didnt click was one of the reasons why Houllier didnt sign him permanently..

Marriage oh how I laughed when people said "there goes your sex life" bastards

sexless hell! they do say the first year is the worst though, right?

he/she/it isnt always compassionate though alien intervention explains the whole happy god/vengeful god bollocks so much better than one omnipotent being ..not that Im saying thats true though! 77107[/snapback] Alien intervention? 77110[/snapback] thats how ridicluous it all is. My mate who's fascinted by all the new age science stuff once got stopped by a couple of bible bashers in town. He asked them to explain why you could have an all powerful being who on the one had could be benevolent and caring and on the other angry and vengeful. After 5 mins they walked away from him.

its my 1st anniversary today... where did that year go

cant remember the exact figure but comparing the two oldest (distinct) copies of the christian bible theres something like 60000* differences *in no way an accurate figure

he/she/it isnt always compassionate though alien intervention explains the whole happy god/vengeful god bollocks so much better than one omnipotent being ..not that Im saying thats true though!

Gemmill?

Potty mouth! Get those filthy thoughts out of your mind!!!! 77037[/snapback] I can't be arsed with gyms either, neither can most people for 11 months a year. But seriously, you could save £40 a week not smoking - enough money for a luxury holiday in Barbados! 77039[/snapback] with advice like this Renton you should have a 5 minute slot on Lorraine or This Morning

The difference is Gemmill, to the likes of Alex and Mancy, I am just an anonymous voice on a message board. On the other hand, they actually know you in the real world, and have obviously drawn their own conclusions! 77021[/snapback] People are never as you imagine but thanks to this message board I now picture Gemmill as that Little Britain character but with ginger hair

Liquorice helped me. Though I have recently started again after being tab free for over a year, works just so depressing I cant help it . 2 a day doesnt classify me as being a smoker again in my book though

What was it that impressed you about his time at Hartlepool? Hartlepool fans werent impressed and neither were the towns landlords

zzzzzzzzz stick to the tabloids .... 75724[/snapback] Jesus Christ! He must have friends in high places or something, I can't believe the media backing he's getting. 75727[/snapback] "He hasn't whined about injuries, as some top managers do when they have two or three" hasn't he? So who was that sourfaced, talentless scottish cunt who's done it nearly every week since he got the job

I disagree, I think the last thing he'd have is Shearer around

to be fair Monacos a bit more attractive than Newcastle

Thats just the problem though. I wonder what the process was for us appointing Souness? No one left and he was only one available? Name out of hat with two names in it, the other turned us down? I shudder to think he was an actual calculated candidate... 74565[/snapback] shareholder in Pro Active?

on a 6 month bender?

Are we actually an attractive proposition for a world class manager though? Maybe at the time Robson was sacked but now? Im not so sure. I'd love it if someone of Hitzfelds calibre would come but I just cant see it, not with the other jobs that would eb available to him. Someone with a track record and the potential to be world class might be the best we can get. Out of the foreign coaches Le Guen would be a realistic target but I doubt FF has heard of him.

tom vek - I aint saying my goodbyes shudder to think - funeral at the movies daft punk - robot rock

A manager needs time to achieve success. However the effect that manager has on a team is almost immediately apparent. The change in system, tactics, coaching can be seen almost immediately. For those that chose to look Souness was failing from the start and the outcome was inevitable. I should add though that I never thought it was realistic that he would be sacked before the summer.