Happy Face

This could get embarrassing What you doing to me man Parky?

If only my brand of dull logic had wider crossover appeal.

I've done my research/comparisons and i'm going to go with Pakistan (size of bubble denotes number of deaths).

Lols at the ones in red Puzzled by the one in Blue. Whats a pressure pump? You know when you use a pressurized pump on your tyres at the town hall garage. It's one that goes in your boot. £2.99 from the aforementioned Home Bargains or Universally known as a Tyre Inflator I wouldn't use a tyre inflator to pu,p up an inflatable chair or paddling pool

The UK is spoilt enough as it is. Just getting in there before the regular parochial crew descend. That said...the coalition are determined to get those on the poverty line under it

Lols at the ones in red Puzzled by the one in Blue. Whats a pressure pump? You know when you use a pressurized pump on your tyres at the town hall garage. It's one that goes in your boot. £2.99 from the aforementioned Home Bargains

I wouldn't have signed the expensive bottle of wine graciously provided by our hosts in the US "it was wasted on me"

Giving it to palestine wouldn't really help us though would it? We don't take many palestinian refugees, they're hemmed in. How about giving it to the UK. Our total aid budget wouldn't cover the 2012 olympics. Charity begins at home. That or Pakistan or Haiti.

Finishing in a couple of hours. Then off to home bargains for some cheap tat for the kids of friends and distant relatives. Only got my dad a round of golf at Slaley, a nose hair trimmer, a pressure pump that plugs into your car lighter and some forero roshay so i want to get him summat else too (something not shit). Then I'll be putting on my best Tony Manero shirt for a night in the cutting edge pubs and clubs of south shields. My longest friend's birthday today, so we're REALLY living it up. Do some card/present deliveries deliveries on christmas eve before stopping at me mam's with my big brother and his young un. Doing the whole santa bit, leaving out a mince pie and a carrot and that, which i've not done in 20 years at least. Will be getting up at 5am on Christmas day too, which again, is not what i'd normally do....stopping in all day.....might go to the pub for a couple before lunch, but it's delboy, the life of brian and toys all the way after. Boxing day....match Monday....sales...need a new winter coat. Stopping in New year. Used to make the effort for it, even though i know it's always a shit night. Not this year. Gonna stop in with a film and asda party pack, then the week after we'll have a new year meal at the fishermans lodge without the nighmare crowds and lack of available taxis. Nothing can go wrong.

I used to wear a lacoste tank top about 6 or 7 years ago, inspired by none less than John Gregory. http://www.wardrobeclothing.co.uk/image/ca...128-500x667.jpg Anyone who knew what was good for them was rolling in this clobber. Fuck me how did my pic end up on the net. Does your chin look like another 2 inches of neck too?

Unfortunately, while saying no to that on the questionaire, I assumed I'd be in the minority.

Do you listen to puck nuts? http://smodcast.com/pucknuts/

http://shop.uniqlo.com/uk/goods/066084

Ian Dury ......Shakespeare's sister From the sublime to the shit.

How much do you think a player of his ability should be paid? Changing Premier league average salary... 93/94 £75,000 per year (£1,442 per week) 00/01 £409,000 (£7,865) 03/04 £676,000 (£13,000) 08/09 £1.1 million (£21,153) Barton's been above average this season. Is he less than a quarter as valuable as Tevez? Is he three times as valuable as Carroll?

http://www.midomi.com/

Indeed. Whatever anyone at the club or at any other club says is neither here nor there. In 6 weeks we'll see.

Boxing Day More4 12.45 Followed by Oliver Twist.

Not seen it listed http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetail...9c1ed51dbf5cd19

FRIDAY 24TH DECEMBER (CHRISTMAS EVE) BBC1 THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 11.30am - Tim Allen continues being Santa. CARS 3.05pm - Not one of my favourite Pixar films, but the network premier and definitley one for the kids. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN 5.15pm - another network premier. Make sure to watch/record part one on Thursday THE MONEY PIT 1.15am - Tom Hanks comedy about buying a shit heap house. BBC2 THE FOX AND THE CHILD 10am - Kate Winslett voiced docu-drama for kids..if they're soppy little shits. SUSPICION 11.30am - Cary Grant stars in the Hitchcock classic. Everyone should have seen it. SHE WORE A YELLOW RIBBON 1.05pm John Ford/John Wayne classic BBC3 WAR OF THE WORLDS 8pm - The Spielberg one. ITV1 CASPER 10.40am - Ghost film for young kids with Christina Ricci MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET 12.55pm - The Dickie Attenborough one. Perfect for christmas. THE QUEEN 3pm - Helen Mirren has an annus horribulus.....ravaged when she did that back door porn. THE HOLIDAY 10.15pm - Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet proper wifey film. DEAD CALM 1.40am - Remember watching this when I was young and being shit scared, sticks in my mind as much as The Shining did at the time. I couldn't turn off though cos I was busy wanking over Nicole Kidman. ITV2 NANNY MCPHEE 7pm - A modern Mary Poppins. It's excellent stuff for all the family. ITV3 UNCLE BUCK 9pm - Not the best John Candy film. ITV4 SWEENEY 2 3.40pm - John Thaw and Dennis Waterman star in the second spin-off movie from the show. MISSION TO MARS 5.50pm - Gash Sci-fi. If you've got Apollo 13 on DVD watch that instead. RAID ON ROMMEL 8pm - Richard burton war film. GREEN STREET 10pm - Crap hooliganism film SHOOTERS 12.15am - Shitty attempt to do what had been done in Lock Stock for the umpteenth time. CHANNEL 4 JINGLE ALL THE WAY 11.40am - Arnie christmas crap HERO 12.55am - If you liked Crouching Tiger, you'll love this. E4 MADE IN AMERICA 1.05am - Whoopi Goldberg and Ted danson. No idea. Looks shit. MORE4 BEACHES 10.50am - Another weepy for the ladies. FILM4 PLEASE SIR! 11am - shit tv show....shit film. THIS HAPPY BREED 1pm - David Lean film I'd not heard of before. BRIEF ENCOUNTER 3.10pm - A married slag gets off with a cad and a rotter whenever they can. Not really, it's all very proper. Classic stuff again. THE PARENT TRAP 4.50pm - Linsey Lohan bollocks ELF 7.15pm - One of the better recent christmas comedies. Will Ferrell is not an Elf, but he thinks he is. CHOCOLAT 9pm - Juliete Binoche UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION 11.20pm - Nerd film. AMELIE 1.20am - Call me a big puff, but i love it to bits. French film about a lonely girl who spends her time helping others. CHANNEL FIVE SCROOGE 4pm - Alistair Sims version LAST ACTION HERO 6.45pm - shit FIVE USA STAND BY ME 1.30pm - another chance in case you missed it earlier in the week.

Rang in sick today Proper man flu. Plenty of time to get my red biro out and circle stuff in the bumper christmas radio times.

THURSDAY 23RD DECEMBER BBC1 THE SANTA CLAUSE 11.30am - Tim Allen becomes Santa SHREK 2.25pm - Modern fairy tale, with jokes for grown ups. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE 3.50pm - Modern version of the CS Lewis book. SURVIVING CHRISTMAS 11.05pm - Horrible Ben Affleck and James Gandolfini mess. BBC2 BORN YESTERDAY 10.15am - Classic comedy well worth watching. ON MOONLIGHT BAY 11.55am - Doris Day musical love story. The Beatles sang the title track when they appeared on Morecambe and Wise. MACKENNA’S GOLD 3.10pm Gregory Peck and Omar Sharif western. ITV1 JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR 11.50pm - Lavish Andrew lloyd Weber musical. LORENZO’S OIL 1.45am Weepy true story to tape for the missus and keep her happy while you're at the football on Sunday. ITV2 EVAN ALMIGHTY 7pm - Jim Carrey bollocks. ITV3 CARRY ON JACK 3.30pm - Kyaa Kyaa! TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD 12.10am - Gregory Peck classic. Top stuff ITV4 IN ENEMY COUNTRY 7.55pm World War 2 blokes film. LETHAL WEAPON 3 10pm TANGO AND CASH 12.25am - What a double bill....or watch the good first film and go to bed without watching the shitter second one. CHANNEL 4 DOCTOR DOLITTLE 3 12.35pm - If only Eddie Murphy had died around the same age as Bill Hicks. MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET 2.20pm - Loads of version of this classic. This is an old one with a very young Natalie Wood. LANTANA 1.25pm Aussie drama BOY ON A DOLPHIN 3.25am Sophia Loren MORE4 CHALLENGE TO LASSIE 11.50am - What's that Lassie? You can't talk? Here's some pedigree chum then. FILM4 MOGAMBO 11am - John Ford film starring Clark Gable. you can't beat an oldie at Christmas. CARRY ON ABROAD 1.15pm - Kyaa Kyaa! DECK THE HALLS 3pm - Mathew Broderick and Danny Devito film. Remember that ITV show with Robson Green where he wanted the best lights? It's the same story but far far worse. Grotesque. ICE AGE 2: THE MELTDOWN 4.45pm - Remember when animated film was an artform? When Salvador Dali was desparate to work with Walt Disney? This is what it's become for the most part. Putting talking animals out of their comfort zone MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD 6.25pm - One for the boys. Epic sea battles and that. JUNO 9pm - I enjoyed it. Despite the fact I hate that lass. Hated her in Hard Candy too. I hate any smart arse kids who talk like they're reading from a book of witty retorts. It's why I hated Brick too. I hate the lad in that as much as I hate the bint in this. Both try way too hard. Not like Michael Cera, he's brilliant, a master of the understated, inarticulate and quietly hilarious. THE CONVERSATION 10.50pm - One of the all-time great American films. Where your average man on the street knows that The Godfather(s) and Apocalypse now are works of genius, fewer people would mention this other Francis Ford Copolla masterpiece. SILENT LIGHT 1am - Mexican film about a married man struggling with his conscience during an affair his wife tolerates. It's REALLY slow. Like 9 minute long shots of a tree slow. I loved it. Seriously. CHANNEL FIVE THE CANNONBALL RUN II 2.55pm - If it was part one I might say it's watchable. 300 9pm - Unimaginably gash sequence of fight scenes. Fans of homoeroticism will enjoy though. FIVE USA THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN 12.30pm - 2 days running? Jesus wept! STAND BY ME 3.50pm - We all know and love it. 4 kids go on an adventure to find a dead body and do some growing up along the way.

Resurrected for christmas..... WEDNESDAY 22ND DECEMBER BBC1 HERBIE: FULLY LOADED 3.40pm - The Lindsey Lohan one BBC2 THE CARDINAL 10.15am - Otto Preminger film THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL 9pm - Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson BBC3 ARMAGEDDON 8pm - Michael Bay bollocks ITV1 BATMAN BEGINS 10.35pm - First of Christopher Nolan's retooled franchise with Christian Bale ITV2 THE ILLUSIONIST 9pm - Ed Norton does his Paul Daniels bit THE FUGITIVE 11.15pm - Classic Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones film. ITV3 CARRY ON CLEO 3.20pm - Kyaa Kyaa! THE ICE HARVEST 11.40pm - John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton in a christmas film by Harold Ramis (Ghostbusters). Can't be bad. ITV4 JAWS 3 9pm - BARB WIRE 11.30pm - Pamela Anderson film panned by everyone CHANNEL 4 BARNYARD 12.45pm - CGI animation with the voices of Kevin James, Courtney Cox and Sam Elliott) HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS 2.25pm - Whatever happened to Rick Moranis? CANDY 2.05am - Bleak Aussie drama with Heath Ledger MORE4 BILLY ROSE’S JUMBO 10.50am - Doris Day tries to keep an Elephant in her circus FILM4 THE WOODLANDERS 11am - Based on the Thomas Hardy novel. MONTE CARLO OR BUST 12.50pm - Sequel to Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines. Tony Curtis, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore play the leads. THE COLDITZ STORY 3.15pm - John Mills leads a group of escapees, proper stiff upper lip, boys own stuff. MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN 5.10pm - John Carpenter can't do comedy...neither can Chevy Chase tttt. THE SEEKER: THE DARK IS RISING 7.05pm - Family fantasy adventure. Shit though. THE OTHERS 9pm - Nicole Kidman ghost story. INTO THE WILD 11pm - Written and directed by Sean Penn. Won lots of awards. THE DISAPPEARED 1.50pm - British ghost story with Harry Treadaway FIVER BABY GENIUSES 1.05pm - Regarded as one of the worst films ever made. Might be worth a look for kitsch value. THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN 3pm - Some people like erry Gilliam. I don't.

"Shay Given will not be leaving St James' Park" http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/t...ted/7805887.stm "The last player we will want to sell is James Milner, and I am talking about the owner and myself, and I am sure he will not be leaving St James' Park." http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/football/2680...e#ixzz18pqvgDFX Fingers crossed though.

Read More http://www.journallive.co.uk/nufc/newcastl.../#ixzz18pmsqVzQ