Happy Face

A bloke is in a bar. He's so drunk he throws up all over himself. He tells the bartender, "What am I doing? When I go home my wife's going to kill me..." The bartender puts twenty pound in his shirt pocket and says, "Go home and tell your wife you were in a bar and a guy came up... he was drunk, threw up all over you, but put £20 in your shirt pocket." He goes home, walks in and his wife says, "look at you. You threw up all over yourself!" He goes, "Honey, a guy got drunk and threw up on me and he put £20 in my shirt pocket." She reaches in and pulls out £40 and says, "What's the other £20 for?" He says, "He shit in my pants, too!"

Wants to practice what he preaches.

One of the lads was getting a pint in when Zoggy scored. It brought about the realisation of how shit you'd feel if you were there, but missed Shearers goal. "Dad, did you see Geordie legend Alan Shearer break the 200 goal mark and with it a record that had stood for 40 odd years?" "No son, I'd had a couple and had to go for a piss! "

Holy shit! What a southern dandy he is.

Exactly what I thought. No-one seems to have mentioned Zoggy yet. Everyone was thoroughly proffessional and good and that (except maybe Boumsong in the centre circle running backward and forward without a clue what he should do....still), but Zoggy put some fun into the game. Emre took on defenders and got the pulse racing and zoggy took the piss out of them. The response to Shearers goal was awesome, brought a tear to my little japs eye. It's a shame Freddy will misconstrue it as an affirmation of what he believes - that we all want Shearer to take over. Great day. First time in a long time I was happy and wanted to go on the hoy after the game. I'm ill now like. But I've got last nights Sub-way to make me feel better. And did anyone else see N-O's hitzfeld campaign? I saw 1 ripped up flyer on the floor and a German flag in thae bar with his name painted on very sloppily. Looked like it was done by a foetus. Poor show.

anyone been to the shop yet? What's the headline?

Scolari is on Radio 5 live at 9am (probably after the news like, so not precisely). Freddy shephard is then on at 9.30 (again, probably after the news, but let's not be pedantic about this, I mean, how can I possibly know the exact time he'll be on? I don't produce the show. I'm just passing on what I heard. If you're going to be nasty about it I'll not bother in future!)

Cheapest you can get it at the moment is £13.99 here You can get Series 2 for only £7.69 here though. And if you want to find stuff at a reasonable price in future, use this

Actually, I've never read it or bought it. I only suggested it for someone or other who seemed incapable or recognising simple subtext and (wrongly) told everyone that The Descent was shit.

Are you sure it was an Asteroid and not a volcano? I can only imagine you're looking for Volcano: Fire on the Mountain a made for tv film from '97. No?

June Sarpong was on to reprazent for da yoof. She was good too. It was around Live 8 if I remember correctly and she spoke intelligently about Africa. Fit? Aye, nice body, but a face like Plug off the Bash Street Kids chewing a pitbull chewing a wasp. Adam Ricket represents no-one except shitty m-list celebs. Which youngsters are going to tune in for him? Unless they're trying to attract the gay viewer. He was shite too, from what I saw (only the last 10 minutes). Looked like he was going to cry whenever he spoke and the rest of the panel just looked at him like he was a dafty.

I am a workshy fop like.

To the tune of que sera sera When I saw Souness get the sack I asked me Fatha, who will it be? Will it be Alan? Will it be Sam? Here’s what he said to me Glenn Roeder, Roeder Is who it will be, will be He must still need head surgery Glenn Roeder, Roeder

They've started a petition. It's off in the post along with the letter to Boumsong. 88740[/snapback] They're all printing leaflets apparently. Soopafans to a man.

You could have broke it to me gently

He was there to receive an apology from some young man he'd cracked during a pitch invasion.

Yes, I can confirm this. And I saw Brian Clough in Greggs while I waited for a sausage and bean melt.

Just debating some chants for tomorrow with a lad at work. Best we could come up with... We've Glenn Roeder He had a Brain Tumour. He's alright now. He's alright now. or We've got Glenn Roeder, he's not Gerhard Schroeder. one's chancellor, one's met me da!

You got a problem with wikipedia? 88653[/snapback] People can edit it can't they? 88657[/snapback] Yeah, but it's been independently investigated and shown to have as few inaccuracies as the online encyclopedia Britannica which costs a bomb. I think they've stopped letting anyone edit now too. It's restricted to certain specialists now.

You got a problem with wikipedia?

He'd be my number one choice. Since leaving Lyon he's already turned down big jobs in Turkey, Portugal, France and Italy. He's got to be waiting for a club in England or Spain. The 'exclusive' is a crock of shite though obviously.

He's been Portugese boss for the last 2 year... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luiz_Felipe_Scolari 88619[/snapback] I know, I also know they aren't a club side. 88638[/snapback] Didn't see that bit. Thought it was an odd question from someone so learned.

He's been Portugese boss for the last 2 year... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luiz_Felipe_Scolari

Scolari speaks July at the earliest, so we'll have to wait if we want him.

Allardyce and Scolari are currently just about joint favourites.