Happy Face

This issue it's "I am sixteen going on £2.60" Viz is shite now, but still worth getting for the odd nugget. I especially like this months Jade Goody article

The remake is on the way. EDIT: Seems to have been scrapped now.

I mean I dunno who she is. Was just a picture in a pdf porno. Outstanding I thought. PM me the full picture please or one where she is being dirty. There's just the one I'm afraid... http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/8374/untitledlq6.jpg

I mean I dunno who she is. Was just a picture in a pdf porno. Outstanding I thought.

Who is she Wheres the smiley for boner?

I agree with the film, you just got the wrong scene.

I always dream about big cat's attacking me. In School, Work, at the match and last night it was at the Grand Prix. A geet panther went for Michael Schumacher but he curled in a ball and stayed still and the bastard left him and came for me. I tried to do the same but it tore my gullet out and Iwoke up shitting myself.

Into what? I thought this was a childish name calling thread. No?

Ever considered an item by Phat Farm? Or even Nike?

1. I just got back from Regina Spektor. She was very good. Though I think it's a wig. 2. I've just enjoyed a 1/2 lb Cheeseburger. 3. I'm back on the tabs 4. Just ordered a pair of superstars for £20. 5. £11k of remortgage is winging its way to me on Thursday. Very excited.

Another day off for me tomorrow. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Viva Zapatero - Imagine if Tony Blair had Have I Got News For You, Rory Bremner, Dead Ringers, The Day Today and any other political satire taken off air for ridiculing him or his policies. It's inconceivable, but that's exactly what Silvio Berlusconi has done in Italy and seems to have gotten away with. It's not a particularly cinematic documentary and has little to say other than facism is being reintroduced in Italy while the opposition do nothing, but that's still an incredible premise and I'd advise anyone to watch it. Do any Italians frequent Toontastic? Is this not a source of complete outrage over there? Mind you, I would ban Italian satirical shows for being depressingly unfunny, the one laugh out loud moment is provided by Bird and Fortune on Bremner's show. But the fact that politics is deemed a taboo subject for comedians in Italy is incredible to me. Even worse is the fact that journalists in Berlusconi's employment go along with it while their peers are hounded out of the business. The Death of Mr Lazarescu - This has had rave reviews all over the shop and I was looking forward to it. I knew it was about a dying man's wait for treatment in the Romanian health service (which sounds very boring) but reviews were so positive I thought it must have something about it. It didn't. I was bored out of my tiny little mind for two and a half hours. The odd shocking moment towards the end wasn't enough to drag me out of my stupour. The entire nursing population of Romania are absoloutley stunning like, and the eye candy held my attention until the end but I really can't see why this was voted world film of the year by BBC4. Roger Dodger - I only caught the last hour of this on telly last night but thoroughly enjoyed it. A coming of age story about a 16 year old visiting his lothario uncle in New York, as daft as the plot was of this kid getting stuck into gorgeous birds all over, I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Audley Harrison? I've seen better boxing from Ainsley Harriot!

that bloke is cringeworthy HE IS but for £6.45 I couldn't resist. They saw you coming tbh. You can get it for £4.99... http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00006L...indhotelinth-21 That's were I got it from. That 4.99 is exclusing p & p. You should have spent another tenner man.

Press 'back' twice.

that bloke is cringeworthy HE IS but for £6.45 I couldn't resist. They saw you coming tbh. You can get it for £4.99... http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00006L...indhotelinth-21

1. After living in squalor for 6 years I finally got round to getting a plasterer in for a quote. 2. Today I found out smaller Argos stores have the entire catalogue in store, but don't stock half of what's in it. 3. I've made a lovely chicken dinner which I am now eating with a can of Stella and the match on telly. 4. They've made me team leader while the real one is away for a few weeks. 5. Last night I bandaged a serious head wound.

Grinderman - No Pussy Blues Absoloutley filthy video. Great tune.

SATURDAY 17TH FEBRUARY VERA DRAKE 9pm Channel 4 Seriously Miserable, but excellently performed. DELIVERANCE 11pm ITV3 "Squeal Piggy!" RITA, SUE AND BOB TOO 11.25pm Channel 4 "Gerrout o' my FUCKIN' house" absoloutley hilarious. CARRIE 11.25pm Film4 When a woman becomes sexually ripe she is a scary thing, when she knows it she's horrifying. SUNDAY 18TH FEBRUARY BLOW OUT 11pm Film4 Not seen it, but meant to be a classic. Compared to Blow Up regularly. FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS 3.30am Channel 4 Want to see this, what kind of time is that to put it on. luckily I'm off the next day, probably still won't watch it. MONDAY 19TH FEBRUARY KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE 9.55am Channel 4 Want to see this, what kind of time is that to put it on. luckily I'm off today, I'll definately watch it. PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE 9pm Five US Don't be put off by Adam Sandler, it's a brilliant film. Same bloke that did Magnolia. THE LAST BOY SCOUT 10pm ITV2 As I've said before, better than the Die Hards. TUESDAY 20TH FEBRUARY THE CAT RETURNS 10.35am Channel 4 Another early morning Ghibli, gutted I'm back at work. THE KRAYS 10.30pm ITV4 One of them was a bit fruity apparently, or were both of them? WEDNESDAY 21ST FEBRUARY MOULIN ROUGE 3pm Film4 If you're all bitter and dead inside don't bother, it's a technicolour celebration of musicals and brilliant. 1941 9.35pm ITV3 Not seen it. Spielberg is a legend though. Have you seen the trailer for Bee Movie? Hilarious. APOCALYPSE NOW 10pm ITV4 "Saigon... shit" "Charlie don't surf!" "You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill." "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" "The horror... the horror" THURSDAY 22ND FEBRUARY THE PINK PANTHER 4pm More4 * Peter Sellers is a funny man. STRIPES 9pm ITV4 Bill Murray is a funny man FRIDAY 23RD FEBRUARY LAPUTA: CASTLE IN THE SKY 9.35am Channel 4 Want to see this, what kind of time is that to put it on. luckily I'm off today, I'll definately watch it. EXPLORERS 6.55pm Film4 Loved this when I was a nipper. Tape it for the kids. If they're anything like me they'll go outside and start constructing a spaceship the minute it's over. EDDIE MURPHY: RAW 10pm ITV4 "Lillian! Can! Not! use the telephone" After delirious it's the second funniest stand up film ever. SHADOW OF THE VAMPIRE 11.35pm BBC2 Very good re-imagining of how Nosferatu might have been filmed. Eddie Izzard's twenties acting is great, but Willem Defoe is the standout turn. THE DEER HUNTER 11.35pm Film4 "Mao!"

"Mommy, I woke up today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer!" "That's the story of Jesus."

Ouija Wank. Shirley.

My mate has the following Ayrton Senna quote... "On a given day, a given circumstance, you think you have a limit. And you then go for this limit and you touch this limit, and you think, 'Okay, this is the limit'. And so you touch this limit, something happens and you suddenly can go a little bit further. With your mind power, your determination, your instinct, and the experience as well, you can fly very high." Tattooed between his inside elbow and wrist (toward the wrist end) as a few lines of text in Courier New. It's very good. Far better than the entire sleeve he has on the other arm of chinese stuff (birds, flowers, trees, them funny dogs, cats etc). Which he's about half way through and has spent £1200 on so far.

To be fair, if any of those were on sale it would only be margainally worse than the Alan Shearer testimonial MP3 player.

Sent to me by a smoggie of all things.

At Amazon from today. Apparently they'll stop taking orders once their allocation is accounted for.