Happy Face

It just feels like it's been on 6 hours because it's so shit.

SATURDAY 17TH MARCH WHAT ABOUT BOB? 3.20pm ITV3 When Bill Murray stopped being funny, he was still infinitely funnier than Steve Martin. An enjoyable romp if you're with Virgin and can't watch soccer Saturday. DONNIE BRASCO 11.40pm Channel 4 I thought it was good at the time but can't really remember a thing from it. It's all confused in my head with Carlito's Way and Blow, which probably means it wasn't that great. SUNDAY 18TH MARCH THE PINK PANTHER 6.50pm Film4 I love Claudia Cardinale. Hommuna hommuna, aa-aaaooooooooo! DOGMA 9pm Film4 Affectionate ribbing of religious Dogma from the bloke that made Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy. No-one'll agree but it's his best film imo. THE SUGARLAND EXPRESS 1.20am Film4 I love Goldie Hawn. Hommuna hommuna, aa-aaaooooooooo! Spielberg directs. Well worth a watch, but maybe not this late on a school night. Sky plus it if you have the technology. MONDAY 19TH MARCH SABOTEUR 12.30pm Channel 4 Hitchcocks WW2 cautionary tale of protecting the American way. Very pertinent to the current climate when innocent individuals are detained beyond a reasonable time. Despite the incredibly wooden performance of Robert Cummings I also enjoyed it as a thriller. The Cinema scene looked lush. I can see why it's not one of his more popular films, but it's still a cut above most. COLLATERAL 9pm Film4 I enjoyed it, but if you've already seen it you're far better off watching.... APOCALYSPE NOW 10pm ITV4 Which is one fucking brilliant film, though if you've seen it you might want to watch... THIEF 11.15pm Film4 Years before Collateral, Michael Mann made this. Should be a canny double bill. TUESDAY 20TH MARCH INFERNAL AFFAIRS 9pm Film4 If you enjoyed The Departed, here's your chance to compare it with the original, I seem to be a dissenting voice in not being overly enamoured by it and enjoying the remake more, even though I saw the original first. LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS 10.55pm Film4 Before Snatch (recommended last week) mockney, Madonna marrying tit-end Guy Ritchie made this thoroughly enjoyable crime caper. It must rankle him though, that he's still not made a film as good as Layer Cake (directed by first timer Matthew Vaugh who produced Ritchie's two best films). WEDNESDAY 21ST MARCH SEXY BEAST 11pm Film4 "Your Names Rowntree, at the Grosvenor, YES! You Will!" A pretty average film wrapped around Ghandi's awesomely scary performance as a hard man who's all mouth. His fleeting appearance makes it well worth putting up with Ray Winstone. THURSDAY 22ND MARCH LA CONFIDENTIAL 9pm Film4 Good old fashioned period cop film set in Hollywood. FRIDAY 23RD MARCH THE RIGHT STUFF 10.10pm ITV3 Superb, brilliant, fantastic, outstanding film about the pioneers of the American Space program and the jet pilots that were bypassed. Easily the best film about space travel made, I love Apollo 13, but this tops it. CITY OF GOD 11.05pm Film4 If you still haven't seen this you really are behind the times. For those that say they don't like foreign/subtitled films, this will change your mind. CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND 11.40pm BBC2 Before George Clooney got deservedly nominated for an oscar for directing Good Night and Good Luck he made this top film that seems to have slipped under the radar. Based on the autobiography of the Chuck Barris, he's the tv producer that came up with the concepts for The Dating Game and The Newlywed Game. The book and the film get their edge from his claims of also being a CIA operative.

Chick? That's a bit kind, she's a wider than Big Bird.

Ali Farka Toure - Soko

Bright Side? We won the intertoto trophy.

Martins, Parker, and Dyer missed sitters like. And Taylor was riverdancing for that first goal. And Parker scored a fine goal. I hear you though. Bramble was to blame for both goals IMO I expect it from Bramble though.

Martins, Parker, and Dyer missed sitters like. And Taylor was riverdancing for that first goal. And Parker scored a fine goal. I hear you though.

Do I really want to go through this again?

Is he saving his subs for extra time FFS.

Are the gods having a laugh with us here?

Emre?

What a clothesline from Huntington.

I'm confident that a Roeder team talk can turn this around and a different team will come out all guns blazing second half.

"Attack is all these two teams know"

SLP just had a nightmarish flashback.

Was at a talk in with Beardsley during the week where he said he would have sued Neil Ruddock for the elbow he hoyed at him if only there was the same number of angles of it we have these days. Has an individual ever been done for purposely taking someone out? Did Roy Keane ever get sued for that challenge where he killed the bloke to death when there was all the talk?

He did an interview with the Times magazine a fortnight ago and talked openly about life at home. How he'll let her watch I'm a celebrity and Big Brother so he can watch every live match without reproach. He's not likely to come out with the story even if it's true, but can't see him lying about her still living there and them being an item. Might as well get "Mug" tattooed on his heed.

"Marteenz"?

Not sure if I remember right, but you work in the operating theatre don't you? Hope so because your bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired.

Did anyone watch "My Life As A Child"? Just finished on BBC2 and it was amazing. First aired a few years ago, so not sure if it's a run of repeats or all new episodes, but either way it's the first time I've seen it and I was gobsmaked. Kids under 11 were given cameras to film their own life for up to 2 years. Tonight they had a couple of kids who don't see their dad's much. Both came accross as more grown up and able to see the bigger picture than the adults. It was heartreaking stuff to watch them suffer, but moreso because of the brave face they constantly put on it. I'll be tuning in again next week.

Slade - Look Wot You Dun Slade were always years ahead of their time with regards to the text speak, lose marks for not using 'u' rather than 'you' though.

The final nail in your coffin as a film critic tbh I'm no more of a critic than anyone else and never claimed to be tbf. Christ, Brock has most posts in the music thread, and he's hardly clued up on the best sounds is he.