Happy Face

TOLD you, HF. 'appen I feel like a right tit!

Simian Mobile Disco - It's The Beat

Wish I could say the same about your posts, tbh. I heard they didn't involve you in this poll because they didn't want a complete whitewash. Not sure who you heard that from, no fucker likes you enough to want to talk to you nicely. When you got banned from NO, people celebrated, when I got banned, a consortium formed of members wanting my return. Nuff said TBH! I'm not going to turn this into a Fop-fest, so this is my last post on the matter, but you and I both know you're being a little liar. The vast vast majority were thrilled you weren't around, and the only ones who supported you were the complete fucking retards, or people who could barely speak English to realise what a tit you are. That's superb..."They hate us both so the jokes on you dickweed!"

Me The day I come up with an Internet alter ego to garner attention is the day I put my head in a blender. You accused me of it. Of what? Being me? Am I jack? Never mind. You're thick as pig shit tbh.

Me The day I come up with an Internet alter ego to garner attention is the day I put my head in a blender. You accused me of it. Of what? Being me? Am I jack?

Me The day I come up with an Internet alter ego to garner attention is the day I put my head in a blender.

I think you'll find that some of the answers in the 'what are you currently listening to?' thread are literally, what they're listening to, like their neighbour's dog barking, etc. Anyway, this is exactly my point about trying to post anything positive on the boards. It's a fascinating box set, and it goes beyond just the music, or whatnot, and I thought maybe one or two others might be interested in it. I'll just go back to being obnoxious, ta. I've not said anything negative at all. You complained that your recommendations threads fell on deaf ears so you gave up. I just pointed out that most people put anything new they're listening to in the "listening" thread and you got all arsey and pedantic. Don't be so touchy. I love you Patty. You give me the warm fuzzies. Never change. I'll hunt out some of this Hotel Babylon ASAP. Didn't they sing Spaceman? Their writer hoped to come up with a round song iirc.

Wasn't there a music quiz show where they'd ask the contestant what they're currently listening to? If people took it as literally as Patrokles, everyone would have answered "you".

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from you, you boring twat!

Wasn't there a character on the Fast Show who's catchphrase was "I'm sorry, I've just come"? Or did I dream it?

Bobby REALLY likes the racists.

Isn't that what the "Currently listening to" thread is for?

15 Easy Steps To Poo Like A Woman 1. Under no circumstances use any other toilet than your own, regardless of any stomach pain may be caused whilst waiting to get home. 2. With the toilet-brush, clean any residue left on the pan by your boyfriend / husband. Also wipe his pubic hair off the seat with some toilet paper. 3. Flush the toilet before starting. Then wash your hands 4. Line the toilet seat with toilet paper (as other people may have sat on the toilet since it was last bleached). 5. Stuff toilet paper inside the pan to prevent splash-back. 6. Pull panties down and sit. Some women may still prefer to squat over the seat as opposed to taking the risk of touching it with bare flesh. 7. Release solids, but strain to avoid making any sounds. 8. Rise and quickly flush before direct eye-contact is made with any faeces. 9. Take a length of toilet paper and fold it several times to positively guarantee that no residue will touch bare skin (about five or six applications per roll). 10. Wipe once and throw paper into the pan. Do not look at the paper. 11. Repeat steps 9 and 10 at least thirty times. It may be necessary to yell for your boyfriend/husband to find some more rolls to pass through the door while promising not to open his eyes or pass any comments. It is traditional to do this while he is trying to watch sport. 12. Flush the toilet and replace the lid. 13. Wash hands at least three times with disinfectant soap. 14. Open all windows and spray approximately half-a-can of air freshener. 15. Pick up all reading material left behind by your boyfriend/husband and leave bathroom, closing the door firmly behind you. 15 Easy Steps to Poo like a Man: 1. Select reading material (can be anything except a porn-mag; tried by every man once, but never repeated - see step 4). 2. Tell everyone along the way, "Just going for a dump, okay?" Always tell girlfriend/wife, especially when she has visitors. 3. Pull pants and trousers around ankles, then sit down. 4. Adjust penis and testicles to hang comfortably without touching the toilet rim. 5. Open reading material and relax. 6. Whilst waiting, it is traditional to audibly fart. 7. Sigh loudly as the first one bullets out. It is quite normal to experience a cold jet of water rocket upyour anus as a result of the first bomb. This is to be endured if you want to be a real man. 8. Remain sitting and reading until pins-and-needles set in to your legs and buttocks. 9. Rise and look at the poo. Make mental notes of any irregularities to report to friends and girlfriend/wife, e.g. colour, consistency, any visible traces of peanuts, etc. You must tell people about it. 10. Take long length of paper and wipe anus. You must look at the paper before throwing it into the pan. 11. Repeat step 10 until there is no longer any evidence of faeces on the paper. 12. Flush. If there is any residue left on the pan, under no circumstances attempt to cleanit off. In due course, it will come away by itself. Or, when your girlfriend/wife next uses the loo. 13. Leave the seat up. Leave the reading material on the floor (you can use it again later). 14. Wash your hands once. 15. Vacate the bathroom, leaving the door open. It is important to a man's self-esteem that other people smell his produce

Half vulcan. Throw the pedants shoes over the roof Manc. Then you'll have won.

Might be 20,000 posts but it'll probably be 19,000 words.

Agreed. John Hughes should be held in as high regard as Scorsese & Spielberg. No-one's made a better run of films than: The Breakfast Club (1985) Weird Science (1985) Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) Genius. At last some sense HF Those are easy ones though, no-one on the English speaking planet would ever call them shite.

Not loving this album like, but Spitting Venom is still a great track.

I'd agree with that up to a point, but I don't think who "wins" is important in the slightest. In fact, I'd say it's the belief/non-belief that there's such a thing as "winning" and "losing" an argument on this forum that causes a lot of the friction between certain types of poster in the first place. Yeah, you're right. I just wanted to extend the metaphor. What metaphor?

No-ones actually said they feel like victims tbh. Renton's just decided tell some people he sees them as victims. The irony In Gordons defence, some of the people have said, in threads, they are fighting against the clique, or it's everyone against them etc. I haven't cos I'm nails The best bit of the original post is the way Rents says he's not sure why certain people get abuse.....then unleashes a torrent of hurtful comments on a selection of regulars.

Anyone seen those new versions of classics? They're called "xxxxx in half the time" and they've taken out all the fat and left just the bare bones of the plot so simple people can get through them. Moby Dick and Anna Kareninininina(sp?) are the only ones I can remember. Sort of defeats the point. If you're going to remove all the descriptive text why not go the whole hog and just add the ending to the synopsis and I can read it in a 50th of the time.

No-ones actually said they feel like victims tbh. Renton's just decided tell some people he sees them as victims. The irony

Not been reading much lately. Started Children of Men about a month ago but never went back after 3 chapters. I've got the Johnny Cash autobiography there to start, might just jump into that instead. I find apart from Sight and Sound magazine and the paper I'd always rather listen to music than read these days though.

But Happy face wont rate them so he won't put them up Aye, it's Jaws 3 on ITV3 tonight...."A biologist and workers at an ocean amusement park attempt to hunt down a murderous great white shark who apparently blames them for the death of her progeny"...Jesus wept. And I have to say, I was a bit disconcerted with a few of the titles HTT's been putting in the reviews section. Herbie Fully Loaded is there but not Goodfellas?? But it's a work in progress that's coming along and he could have a canny site on his hands in a year or two.

Nah. Not even worth a packet of pork scratchings, that one. Puff!

I love the way the internet raises peoples standards. GM, you know for a fact you'd piss away your last tenner on drinks for her and all her mates if she suggested there was the chance of so much as a nosh.