Happy Face

FYP ...but to a far greater degree than they did us for any period in the remainder of the game.

Changed the thread title because it was rude. I apologise but I was pissed up/off. Just got a bit sick of the naysayers going on like it was the worst performance of all time when we actually outperformed a side very much in the European running.

Can't believe he played the full 90 minutes. Virtually anonymous in the second half. Carroll has looked fantastic but probably won't see first team action again under Roeder because he has to play his big names.

Reading........................Toon 62.3 Passing Success 75.5 Reading 1 Toon 0 ^^^ More Imporatnt IMO The long ball was shite, that stat must be from Solano to Dyer and back! "I'm not interested in facts, I find they tend to cloud my judgement. I prefer to rely on instinct and blind prejudice."

Reading........................Toon 62.3 Passing Success 75.5

A lot of faith seems to be placed in Shepherd's ability to appoint good managers.

Well I wanted us to win tonight. You didn't. Who's delerious?

Sorry but the way I see it is we had more shots on and off target, more posession, more corners, better passing and tackles but weren't able to beat a team who are chasing Europe while we have nothing to play for. I don't think Roeder can take us forward, but if we sack Roeder and Allardyce goes to Man City we could end up with Lee Clark in charge.

At least 42% of people are happy tonight.

aaaaah, it's thinking long term. Well if we sack Roeder and get Allardyce, he's not got a chance of winning us the league. Do we hope for defeats from the get go so he can be sacked ASAP and we can 'hope' for someone better than him too? Christ in Blighty. Do you want to finish below the Smoggies?

So more than a quarter of us would celebrate a reading goal or alternatively be gutted if we score? Please don't renew you arseholes.

Awesome song off a very underrated album. It came on my shuffle on the way home tonight. I made sure to skip it instantly.

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

Following the GMTV phone scandal Newcastle are going to sue the FA and Premier league for allowing them to enter competitions that they had no chance of winning.

How many people must die in hospital? I'm so happy I've never spent a night in one. Outside of the good health aspect, I'd be shit scared if I was hoyed in a ward on my own at night. Derek Acorah should do all his shows in one.

Thanks to everyone for the help. 3 pages and the thread still hasn't descended into gutter talk, must be some sort of assistance requesting record. HTT, that's a bit japanese to me mate, but I've passed it all on.

Awaits picture of a small hamlet in Sri Lanka made famous in 1920 by a man-eating leopard.

I think 99% of people feel the same the first time. As I did. Love it now though.

....And... Tonights South Bank Show is a profile of the film's director Shane Meadows.

Never thought I'd actually like Eli Dingle.

Alien Resurrection This year sees the 10 year anniversary of the last instalment of the Alien series, notwithstanding the horrific comic inspired AvP. I tried watching the theatrical version when it came out, but I recall being particularly galled by the aliens swimming, so I turned it off. To celebrate a decade without any more raping of a classic series I decided to give it another go, this time I went for the 2003 special edition, assuming it would be some kind of improvement, how wrong I was. The most recognisable difference is the opening credits, where the 1997 version had a horribly erotic sequence of pulsating muscles and sopping orifices which perfectly encapsulated the overt sexuality of the Alien up to that point in the series (and suggested something better than what actually follows), it has been replaced by an introduction that perfectly sums up the problem with the rest of the film. It opens on a set of (clearly CGI) larger than life jaws intended to suggest an Alien's mouth, but the camera pulls out to reveal they're actually the miniscule mandibles of a fly, which is then squished by the driver of a space craft. It's introduced a tone of parody that pervades the whole film, a tone that excludes any possibility of fear or tension, but then it goes further. Not content with reducing one of the scariest film monsters of all time to an easily defeatable house pest, the man who squished it scoops up the guts, puts them into a straw and spits them onto a window. It’s a shot at gross out comedy that would be the least funny thing in an American Pie film; here it comes across even worse because it’s so out of context with what the previous trilogy attempts to convey. In the trilogy up to that point there were comic moments, but they were always from the human characters. You didn’t have the Alien doing a routine where she pulls the ground from beneath peoples feet like a clown might pull the chair away from someone about to sit, as you do here. In the other three films we might have seen more and more of the Alien, but it’s always built up to in the finale. Shadows and sounds were used to build the tension until the big reveal, here we’re given plenty of Aliens from the get go, chatting on about how they’ll escape or pulling faces for the doctors and then doing a bit of back stroke as previously mentioned. Jean Pierre Jeunet is one of my favourite directors. Delicatessen & City of Lost Children are awesome films with a visual flair that obviously got him this job. He went on to do Amelie which is possibly my favourite film ever. But what’s clear is that he wasn’t a fan of the series to start with and he has a whimsical nature not suited in any way to illicit fear. He’s given the new Alien a humanoid face and made it the ugliest thing since Andrew Lloyd Weber. The attraction of the Alien has always been how attractive it was, a beautiful monster, Jeunet’s version looks like Skeletor from the live action He-Man, and that just won’t do. I’m a completist, I’d heard this was a terrible film, I’d even turned it off half way through previously, but I still felt the need to go back and have the full set. There were some things to enjoy, but if you don’t share my obsessive nature, I’d recommend watching either of the other three again and again rather than ever wasting your time with this.

Except we'd be doing well.

Might Shepherd gazump Man City?

David Mitchell's on QI

DVD's out in September.