Happy Face

I only know 2 liverpool fans, both armchair dicks, never been to anfield but got the tattoo's I know far more dedicated Man U and Everton fans who would be gutted. Either way, it was a win win situation.

£55m from the sale. £72.7m profit then? Don't begrudge them a penny, doug perhaps.

email from a lad at work, reads like F365 though.

Did you need a pencil for that one?

that song is the definition of "shit" Didn't want to say like, because 101 was so pleased with herself, but I got the ep for a lass at work the other week, it was affy.

Wigan I'll not change it.

So how would the league of chairmens values look? 1. Abramovich 2. Glazer 3. Ashley ?? My initial joy at having a billionaire owner has been somewhat dampened by the realisation that he's 'only' worth 4 times what David Whelan (Bolton) is. Davey doesn't exactly flash the cash does he. Over the moon at getting Shepherd out and replaced by a seemingly shrewd businessmen who shuns the spotlight. That in itself is worth celebrating, but I'm not pinnig my hopes on an open cheque book, anyway Kaka would want champions league football .

"You're playing catch up".

Shepherd has always said, if a billionaire comes and wants to plough money into our success that's the only way he'd sell. Looks like exactly that situation. But then Shepherd's never been a man of his word.

"Ashley is an intensely private person, who never attends industry functions or gives interviews" I'm creaming myself, sounds like a wind-up he's so perfect.

The Special One: Sir Alex Ferguson, yet another title-winning team, a touch of flair and sufficient generosity of spirit to include Kieran Richardson to give the others a chance. The Not So Special One: Jose Mourinho, all that whingeing, not being good enough in Europe, Khalid Boulahrouz (not his idea, but he didn't have to play him) and the ugliness even when beating Charlton 1-0. Manager of the year: Colchester United's Geraint Williams. Seemingly doomed in August with their League One crowds, League One players and League Two ground. One victory off the Championship playoffs in May. Most universally enjoyed relegation since Leeds going down to the Championship in 2004: Leeds's relegation to League One in 2007. Least dependable postal service of the year: the one Sam Allardyce used to send his writ to the BBC, as they still haven't received it. Mystery of the year: why Javier Mascherano started just three Premiership games for West Ham. What we've learned from Neil Warnock this season: 1: Sheffield United lost at Aston Villa because Liverpool played their reserves at Fulham. 2: They're in trouble because West Ham haven't been docked points. 3: Nobody likes them. 4: They don't care. 5: Gareth Southgate is friendly with Stuart Pearce. 6: All referees hate Sheffield United. 7: If Keith Gillespie was Cristiano Ronaldo, the Blades would get more penalties. 8: Last season he sold Billy Sharp to Scunthorpe for a box of felt-tip pens. This season, Sharp scored 30 goals while no Blade has reached double figures. Last season he bought Ade Akinbiyi from Burnley. This season he sold him back, for £1m less. 9: He can't say what he thinks about referees. 10: All refs are biased against plucky Sheffield United. Least successful bid to overturning a driving ban: Nigel Reo-Coker's claim that he couldn't hire a chauffeur because "I would not know if I can trust that person. Professional footballers are targets. There are criminal gangs who wait and follow you". To be on the safe side, he hid in West Ham's midfield for the entire season. Clubman of the year: Lucas Neill for joining West Ham rather than Liverpool: "If West Ham was good enough for Bobby Moore, Martin Peters and Trevor Brooking, it's good enough for me," he badge-kissed. Obviously the £55,000 a week (Liverpool offered a mere £18,000) and get-out clause were incidentals. Clubman of the year (2): Joey Barton who, after criticising Manchester City's signings, beat one of them, Ousmane Dabo, to a pulp. Chelsea's as they clapped out Manchester United at Stamford Bridge last week. Performance of the season: Manchester United 7, Roma 1. Shame it counted for nothing: Manchester United 7, Roma 1. Most vague reason for sacking a manager: "He had a kind of blind spot to some extent around the areas we needed to strengthen." Barnsley owner Patrick Cryne explains Andy Ritchie's departure. The Martin McGuinness and Ian Paisley Best Friends After All Award: Niall Quinn and Roy Keane. Runners-up: Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane. Third: Sir Alex Ferguson and Roy Keane. It's not all supermodels, minor pop stars, Baby Bentleys and holiday homes in Dubai: Boston's players, unpaid since March, couldn't afford the petrol to travel to training before their relegation decider at Wrexham. They were defeated and lost their league status. Mission accomplished: Dennis Wise, When appointed, vowed to take Leeds out of the Championship. They said it couldn't be done, they were wrong: Liverpool reaching the Champions League final again. They said it couldn't be done, they were right: Watford maintaining their Premiership status. The Harry Kewell Missing In Inaction Award: Harry Kewell (again). Bargain of the season: West Ham signing Matthew Upson: minutes on field, 41. Fee: £6m, plus a get-out clause. That's £146,341 a minute. You know it's the end of the season because: the Thierry Henry to leave Arsenal rumours start again. Barcelona, again. Most paranoid WAG: Belinda Coleman, who thought her husband, the then Fulham manager Chris, was having an affair and bugged his car. She sees more of him these days. Punishments of the season: Bury thrown out of the FA Cup for breaking competition rules. AFC Wimbledon deducted 18 points (later cut to three) and fined for breaking competition rules. West Ham United merely fined for breaking competition rules. Inspired sacking of the season: Sunderland chairman Niall Quinn firing manager Niall Quinn in August. How right they were, eh? The early-season protesters who picketed Manchester United's training ground calling for Alex Ferguson to go. Most unfriendly friendly: QPR v China under-23s in February, abandoned after China defender Zheng Tao was knocked unconscious during a brawl that featured all 22 players and some coaching staff. The Francis Lee Memorial Double Pike Award: Didier Drogba. Many a true word . . . Stewart Downing on Ronaldinho: "I'd love some of his skills but I'd probably fracture something trying to do them." Where are they now? David O'Leary, Manchester City's flair, Glenn Roeder, Brighton's new ground, Simon Clifford, Blackburn Rovers' crowds. Women of the year: Arsenal Ladies, they've won everything and none of them have moved to Chelsea. Player of the Season Cristiano Ronaldo. Even Wayne Rooney has fallen under the winker's spell Manager of the Season Roy Keane. From relegation fodder to Championship champions. Even those assassin's Irish eyes must be smiling. Flop of the Season Andriy Ballack, or is it Michael Shevchenko? Good riddance 1 Leeds United - Ken Bates, Dennis Wise et al Good riddance 2 The Millennium stadium, and the endless car park that was the M4 Lukewarm welcome The new Wembley and the endless car park that is the A406 Nicest interviewee Liverpool's Dirk Kuyt with 'Is that enough for you [after 40 minutes]? We can talk more if you like' Worst start to an interview Didier Drogba with 'You've got two minutes before the team bus goes' Alternative best finish to an interview Sam Allardyce with: 'I'll pay for lunch' Welcome back Sunderland and their diehard legions Oh no, not you again Birmingham, and the dump that is St Andrews Suicidal press conference of the year England's Steve McClaren, after the triumph that was Andorra: 'You can write what you like' before exiting, stage right Dead Man Walking award The maladroit McClaren again. How did he get that job?

Never been skiing in my life, perhaps my mam was like George Costanza and just wanted people to think I'd been skiing.

Check out these dungarees I think my mother must have made them out of that stuff you used to insulate the boiler.

It's outstanding, honestly. David Kelly has mentioned it before, and if you don't trust me, you know you can trust his impeccable taste.

Battles - Mirrored I'm up to Atlas and it's like the oompa loompas singing a karaoke version of that Marilyn Manson song, The Beautiful People. You might think that sounds shit, but it's fantastic, I'm loving it. Junka, Junka, Junka, Junka, Junka....

Love The Wicker Man. Watched Dear Wendy last night. Written by Lars Von Trier it's about a town where a young group bond over their pasifist love of guns, which of course casn't last. Some interesting notions to ponder.

I only watched the first half hour. Seemed to me that rather than concentrating on Hendrix's genius they just listed his influences as if he was a hack. I was enjoying it though (the story of him taking Blonde on Blonde to a disco was one I hadn't heard ) and expect they went on to give him more credit...but I had to turn it off.

Forgot to mention, not on for a fortnight

You'd have thought Phil Leotardo would have learned his lesson in Goodfellas. When he told Tommy to go get his fuckin shine box he ended up in a ditch, but he's still tweaking mobsters noses. Loved the kerb stomp. Agree with Wacky. The best tv series I've ever had the joy to watch.

Pierrepoint. Excellent. One for advocates of capital punishment to watch.

Runaround! What do you take me for? Some kind of Pilchard? I'll tell you what, pal, you're gonna get a dry slap.

£37.50/performer? I don't fancy your chances.

So is it 40,000 or 400,000? Worse number crunching than Gordon Brown tbh. I not read good.

So is it 40,000 or 400,000? Worse number crunching than Gordon Brown tbh.

Again...it's already in your gut though? Eat some, and tell us if you become ill. Are you advocating that I eat shit and die? That hurts deep. With your encyclopedic knowledge of filth I'd have thought you were well schooled in the art of devouring a poo. Scatman Jim.