Happy Face

coming from the media's favourite sleeping giant I find that hard to swallow. Look at the coverage Spurs get, man. With Spurs, it's always about how they are going to break into the Top 4 - hell, a year ago a few papers even had you down as outside contenders for the title! Don't forget Ramos is a genius....based on one game against Chelsea as far as I can tell.

coming from the media's favourite sleeping giant I find that hard to swallow. They hate us tbh. Do me a favour. You lot have been sky's Darlings since KKs first reign despite being generally poor for most of it. Find me a positive newspaper story about Newcastle from the last season will you?

Cos we don't mug ourselves on fat over the hill players any more. you don think keegan would go for him if allowed ? i reckon he would . lets not forget all the crap around about ginola when we signed him at 28 , or the fact beardsley was well over 30 when we brought him back . i cringe when i see older players getting counted out like that , never underestimate a player on a swansong with something to prove . Had Beardsley or Ginola's from dropped at all? They just found themselves at clubs that didn't want them. Ronaldinho has had a terrible season and doubled in weight. He's Kluivert 2.

So you wipe one way and are left holding a ball of loo roll with a warm, moist turd island at worst, a stinky skidmark at best. And rather than fold it over or discard it, you wipe that shitty rag back over your ring? The sitters go from bad to worse. No, no, no - "Front to back cleans the crack", never wipe backwards and forwards using the same stroke. Don't tell me, tell JawD the stinky ringed tramp.

Ouch.

Cos we don't mug ourselves on fat over the hill players any more.

So you wipe one way and are left holding a ball of loo roll with a warm, moist turd island at worst, a stinky skidmark at best. And rather than fold it over or discard it, you wipe that shitty rag back over your ring? The sitters go from bad to worse.

Having exhausted the mechanics of the subject I think a philisophical debate around when standing becomes sitting. If a person in a cubicle sits down to wipe their arse and there's no-one there to see it, did they actually sit down?

So you're standing. FACT! That's abhorent. I think I'm going to be sick. As one cheek remains in contact with the pan, its still sitting. The definition of the word standing is to be erect or upright of which I'd be neither. On the other, so do you actually wipe, fold, wipe, fold, wipe & fold etc? As has already been said, there's a difference between standing straight and standing. If your feet are holding most of your weight you're standing. The clue is in the nomenclature. you wipe, you don't rub. I'm not necessarily saying you need to fold or re-use, but don't rub it in goddamnit!

Because those ahead of them in the chart weren't bands? You're suggesting that Coldplay have never been below another band in the charts?

So you're standing. FACT! That's abhorent. I think I'm going to be sick.

She makes you want to join the Salvation Army anarl Bubby cling wrapp mummy! Flo, you're a hell of a woman Flo. I did find the lasses hoying themselves at him slightly unrealistic mind Fish reckons he doesn't do too bad, so why not Bubby?

How can they be the biggest band in the world when they haven't even had a US number one? http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7439699.stm Chinny blahn!

That gossip is hardly restricted to Friday. I almost wish they'd sign him just so I don't have to read it over and over for another 2 years.

"Blahn oot." "Chinny Blahn." I will be attempting to re-introduce the use of these phrases on the forum. Primarily when Fop, Sima, Thompers or Rico have been Chinny Blahn.

Harpy Birthday!

Worst to best on points taken from those available (assuming 3 points for a win was always in place) Osvaldo Ardiles Kevin Keegan 2 Richard Dinnis Bill McGarry Sam Allardyce Jack Charlton Norman Smith Willie McFaul Charlie Mitten Ruud Gullit Stan Seymour Joe Harvey Jim Smith Gordon Lee Andy Cunningham Tom Mather Kenny Dalglish Doug Livingstone Graeme Souness Glenn Roeder Arthur Cox Sir Bobby Robson George Martin Keegan Combined Kevin Keegan 1

Worst to best on games lost Richard Dinnis Charlie Mitten Kevin Keegan 2 Norman Smith Sam Allardyce Bill McGarry Osvaldo Ardiles Andy Cunningham Stan Seymour Willie McFaul Tom Mather Ruud Gullit Jack Charlton Joe Harvey Doug Livingstone Gordon Lee Graeme Souness Glenn Roeder Jim Smith Arthur Cox Sir Bobby Robson Kenny Dalglish Keegan Combined George Martin Kevin Keegan 1

Worst to best on games won Osvaldo Ardiles Kevin Keegan 2 Richard Dinnis Jack Charlton Bill McGarry Sam Allardyce Willie McFaul Norman Smith Ruud Gullit Jim Smith Charlie Mitten Gordon Lee Joe Harvey Stan Seymour Kenny Dalglish Andy Cunningham Doug Livingstone Tom Mather Graeme Souness Arthur Cox Glenn Roeder Sir Bobby Robson George Martin Keegan Combined Kevin Keegan 1

Where's Joe Harvey, Lee, Dinnis and McGarry? I only did my lifetime. Give me a minute.... Are you only 28?? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuckin hell. I know I come across as more learned.

Where's Joe Harvey, Lee, Dinnis and McGarry? I only did my lifetime. Give me a minute....

I thought that list was canny telling, given that people said Allardyce deserved more time, but going on games lost, it's even worse. Again, from worst to best.... Sam Allardyce Osvaldo Ardiles Willie McFaul Ruud Gullit Jack Charlton Graeme Souness Glenn Roeder Jim Smith Arthur Cox Sir Bobby Robson Kenny Dalglish Kevin Keegan

Didn't you like it? I thought it was well funny. I thought it was hilarious, aye. I was laughing with you, not at you.