Happy Face

Kid at work saying he's too young to worry about a house and is only looking at upgrading his motor. You cannit tell kids that being a homeowner halves the insurance though, they just want to be driving up the coast with Basement Jaxx coming out the open windows of their Micra.

Have you tried putting someone elderly and boring on as the second driver? Gemmill might let you put him down.

It's all been an effort to make us appreciate Williamson and Ferguson when we re-sign them in the summer. That'll larn us to complain.

I'm cautious about hammering them as much as I've seen others do, because they are our most productive trio. Their 12 assists are almost half of the club total. Only 13 from the rest of the squad combined. They've also scored a third of our goals (granted 90% Wijnaldum) and none of them are strikers. Think it's a vicious circle. Their motivation to keep carrying the team has waned given what little contribution was coming from elsewhere. Now they aren't performing either and the January buys aren't filling the void. Don't think anyone in that dressing room is in any position to question their overall contribution unfortunately. Everyone else in the squad has gone awol to a greater degree. Think Benitez has to build on that. They will be pivotal to leading us out of this, if it can happen. He has to knock their heads together along with Mitro, Shelvey, Townsend and Coloccini. Tell them that they are the senior 7 that will be starting all remaining games and they have to pull anyone else that gets on the pitch along with them up to their standard or ask questions of them why they're letting the club down. Encourage, inspire, hammer, comfort and improve the other shite we have playing badly or out of position. 100% from them 7 would see us breeze to safety, whoever was alongside them.

Funny you should pick those 3. Wijnaldum, Sissoko and Janmaat are the only players with over 30 appearances. Undroppable? Must play clauses? Actually better than we all perceive but disappoint us more due to previous standards set? Sissoko cost the same as Des Hamilton. think that should be about the level he aims for.

Congrats

Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People http://www.earwolf.com/episode/ron-pauls-baby/ As featured on this week's This American Life, if made me grin from ear to ear. Haven't listened to anything after episode 1 but if you're working a job you hate and live a miserable existence otherwise... it could inspire you.

Janmaat decided to break his own fingers in the changing room http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/daryl-janmaat-involved-extraordinary-dressing-11167965 "wibble"

http://www.themag.co.uk/2016/03/elo-ratings-kevin-keegan-greatest-newcastle-united/

I think that's what they mean. That said, Kinnear lost fewer league games (37%) than Allardyce (43%)

Actually, Westwood works for Ashley. I hope he drops 10 more shots. Howay Willet!

See what I mean

Get the feeling Westwood is Monty Mk II. He'll bottle every chance at a major. Love to see him do it like, or Willet.

Spieth's gone from a 5 shot lead to trailing Willet in 3 holes Car crash stuff to watch

He's not saying if you don't like him then you like the apollo here, he's saying if you don't like him you killed Robin Williams

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b076ntxs/stewart-lees-comedy-vehicle-series-4-6-childhood The last Stewart Lee of the series was the best of the lot. If you enjoy Bill Hicks laying into his audience then Lee doing it with even more intellect and bite should appeal.

Said almost 7 years ago, but it bares repeating, now that we know the wage bill was reduced to 14th in the Premier League... behind West Brom.

If we ever turn enough profit to pay tax we need something to offset against to avoid giving money away. I think

Was watching a YouTube video of top ten worst CGI moments and you forget how bad it looked. Amazing that Jurrasic park still holds up despite being one of the first. The worst bits of that are the real life model heads that look like they're stuck on a broom. Think T2 holds up too, but haven't seen it in a while.

Think the problem is more that tax avoidance for the wealthy is entirely legal. ...and yes, before you say it, neither Blair or Brown did owt about that either, but nor did they cut the welfare state to ribbons and blame the poorest in society for not contributing their fair share.

I watched A New Hope for the first time in years with the bairn the other day... well the first 20 minutes until his attention span waned. He's not 3 yet though, so that's not a criticism of the film, he was loving the robots and spaceships for a while. Couldn't believe how ropey it looked to my eye though, my memory was that the production value was top notch across the board, but some of the costumes with different colour buttons sewn on and that or the hangars where they only light the actors and ships and it's just complete darkness behind them looked cheap as owt. Goes to show how much imagination filled in the gaps as a youngster.

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...though we've not managed 12 points from 7 games in 16 months.

Palace have 3 points from the last 7. Repeat it and they're on 36 points. Sunderland have 8 points from the last 7. Repeat it and they're on 35 points. Norwich have 7 points from the last 6. Repeat it and they're on 38 points. If it followed like this we'd need 12 points from 7 games. We got 4 from the last 7. Can imagine 9 points from Swansea, Palace and Villa. If Spurs are finished in the title race and have second place sewn up our only hope could be that they're already on the beach.