Sonatine

You should have filled the piss bottle first, then chucked it. That'll learn them

BBC have a different list of pots

So long as you have a Stormtrooper falling from the roof as you get lit, otherwise it would be just weird I'd prefer a Gestapo officer, or some random Nazi soldier. Not too fussed tbh

I want that scream to be played at my funeral, as the coffin goes up the conveyor belt to be cremated

Think .com had them up the other day.

Quite the opposite, the Germans went about it with gusto and vigour and in their world renowned efficent manner. To this day they busy themselves watching each other and noting if No.5 hasn't changed to his 'winter wheels' or Wolfgang down the road seems to have too big a car (Is he paying his tax??) etc..Essentially a country full of boring and over officious cunts with an eye to correctness and status and all the tedium that goes with it. A humourless pack of automatons fresh out of the black forest, riddled with angst and guilt. Only the Swiss are more boring. Who do I blame for the war crimes? The Germans not Hitler, the were asking for it and imo almost willed Hitler into existence. A dark moody race that can nerver be fully trusted. Nice uniforms though

Derek and Clive Get the Horn

Poetic license used for dramatic effect

Strange. His driveway is almost a half mile long, he knocks over a fire hydrant while­ reversing at 10 mph and his wife hears him half a mile away­ inside the house. The cops arrive and Tiger is­ sparked out on the ground, the window of the car is smashed­ and she has a golf club in her hand. Hmmmmm..................

Bannered Dr David Bannered. No idea if anyone hulked out when the stewards arrived.

In the words of the Ambassador, Excellente!

Johnny Cash night on BBC4, starting with Johnny Cash at Folsom Prison. Might be worth viewing

Tom McRae - Mermaid Blues

Seems to make a good job of being in the right place at the right time, although it was pretty obvious he was being lined up to replace Hart from the off

Will probably turn out something like this

Sneddon made that show, well, him and Mrs Mack.

Looks like he was a having a mid-life crisis the way he was blowing his money, he's certainly the right age for it

The Replacements - Alex Chilton

The Wicker Man was class tbh. RIP