Sonatine

Things are getting worse by the looks of it

Duke of Deadinburgh if that's true

Develop early signs of liver failure after necking that much hooch

Pretty sure the bearded billionaire twat could fork out some of his own dosh to cover staff wages. Too busy suing the NHS to help out I guess

My mam and dad are both in their 80's, and I'd do an online delivery for them every couple of weeks to stop them lugging back any heavy stuff. No chance of that now

Bournemouth

Call me a cynic, but I'm thinking Rooney doesn't actually write his own column for the Times....

Got an email from Domino's saying that they are having no-contact deliveries, that's saving me a few quid in tips

Think it was in The Young Ones book too

Wasn't there a line like "You are like the mint cake. Cool, fresh and nice to suck"

At that price, the fuckers probably have bird flu

It's been said before, but it took something really bad to draw attention away from that kids barnet

Joelinton has been self isolating all season anyway

Wouldn't be too upset if the Uni's did that, I work at Durham and wouldn't say no to an extended holiday. As long as i got paid