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One of my best mates is getting married on Saturday. Asked him what they want and he said Wine. Said what colour and he said any. Now does that mean I get him a bottle of thunderbird? Any suggestions as to what, where and how many I should get him?

You off to Sharm? I am undecided where to go. Been invited to Sydney by my mate who lives there and to Paris for a couple of weeks with a lass I met recently to look after her brothers house. Might do both, might do neither lies.

Well after that weekend I am not sure I have any money left to anything else this year. I was warned Dublin was expensive but fook me I feel like I have spent a small fortune. i went a fortnight ago and it wasnt cheap. Where did you stay?

You off to Sharm? I am undecided where to go. Been invited to Sydney by my mate who lives there and to Paris for a couple of weeks with a lass I met recently to look after her brothers house. Might do both, might do neither

I rarely take sickies cos it just means more work. i think I get about 12/13 weeks off a year and work during most of them. Typical working day at work is 9-3:30 but then there is the marking and planning. Didnt finish til midnight last night. Similar tonight but its better than a proper job.

He's brilliant. Ferguson and him both defend the indefensible and wind people up. Amuses me. Wenger does it to some extent too. Our fucker just doesnt have the wit or personality to attempt it.

I saw her only last week. Can't for the life of me remember where though. On telly ? aye....on what programme though I cannit fathom. She was on Ready, Steady, Cook! Things you don't see: Minature bottles of milk in junior schools. Ahh, the responsibility that came with being milk monitor You that old?

I'll be sure to add that one. They're all real quotes. It's not meant to be taken quite so seriously. Just look at your opening page, I mean look at it, there's a picture of you trying your hardest to look like a human penis combined with a quote you obviously made up about yourself. You should be ashamed of yourself that you're cluttering up the internet with that sort of shite, you're a fucking disgrace. (Probably slightly ott tbh.) What is with everyone tonight?! Why the vitriol? Well said catwoman. Its all a bit too much for me. Off to bed to relax

What a fucking shambles.

Darke or Gayle? Which Gayle is it? Not Gale from West Ham?

Whi is the co-commentator on SKY?

FYP

Just about to say the same thing. He does talk some bollocks. He states that Roeder will have the job next season then says: 'You can never say never with Newcastle United'

Texted my last bird to finish her. she called me the c word. Fair enough though.

and say 'Awooga'

I don't doubt you'll have plenty to spend, but the bigger question is who can you attract ? No doubt there will be domestic players that would play for Roy Keane but how far does his appeal stretch ? Just depends now on his powers of persuasion, still has to be the most promising SAFC situation we've been in during my lifetime (19 years). Also depends on how SAFC are now marketed as opposed to Bob Murrays shit chairmanship. I'd argue that the early days of the Peter Reid management was perhaps your most promising situation to be honest. I think they were halycon days for the North East teams as a whole. We we're established into the Keegan era, Boro were going places with Robson and you lot seemed to be getting on track too. Didn't we all with the First Division within a couple of years too? Reid did blow a fair bit of money. Still think they are better placed now than they were then though.

Whats the drama here then?

Skint Just woke up after a night out in sheffield with a lass - we got to sleep at 6 and she had to be at work for 8 (nurse) Got loads of work to do. Going in the bath to try and wake myself up Decided i am going to get fit.

The lad is a good player but a complete arsehole. I'd take Shearer's word for it when he said that not many people got along with him. The likes of Leazes all tried to say that the stuff about the text messages was made up. It transpired it wasnt. He cant be relied on for the truth. Looks like he has fucked up again.

The old top teams keep their managers routine. Bollocks, it's top managers keep their jobs and make top teams. If you are trying to compare the ability of Roeder to that of Ferguson, Mourinho, Wenger, or Benitez then you are deluded. In fact, there is not another manager in the premiership with a record as bad as Roeder's. We are going nowhere with this moron in charge, except possibly down. Out of interest, do you actually pay your own money to watch Roeder's crap teams? Who in reality would everyone have? personally if he does go hitzfeld would be my choice. and yes I do pay to watch his team over that last 30 years there have ben far worse teams roeder's I remember being bottom of the old second division that was fun, a victory away at Port Vale being the achievement of the season FYP. Roeder isn't good enough. That is obvious. Who would I have in charge? Someone better. It's not our job to recruit the manager, players, or decide who is worthy of replacing the current board.It is, however, our prerogative to point out inadequacies. On that score we have them in spades in the boardroom, squad and in terms of football management.

Lampard isnt in the same league as Gerrard. Find it very hard to like Lampard. He seems to be everything I despise.

Well the way it stands we're going to have one central defender (Taylor) left at the end of the season. Can we really afford to bring in three centre backs, a right back, a left back, and another striker? And we also seem to be crying out for some creativity in centre midfield. In an ideal world Bramble should be shown the door, but this isn't an ideal world. Yeah but that would mean offering him a new contract, possibly meaning he'd be here for several more years, which would be a nightmare. And I highly doubt he's on a pittance either. I'd much rather we go for the Gooch than risk keeping Bramble. I'd much rather we bought a left back, right back 3 centre halves, one central midfielder, a right winger and sorted out the Guinness in the Leazes. And how do we achieve that with a transfer budget of 5 cheese and onion pasties and 3 cheese and bacon wraps? Do the last one at least then?

People mention it because its true, whether you rate him or not, and i didn't think he'd make it myself. The fact is though, if the people who run this club knew what they were doing, when he still had a couple of years or more on his contract they have loaned him for a year to a championship side (instead of him festering away in the reserves and warming the bench), then if he bangs in a shitload we can sell him for decent fee as people will want him. Erm, he did go out on loan, didn't he? Shola is a light year ahead of Chopra as a footballer at any level. Chopra probably strikes the ball better but I dont think he has the physical attributes or the pace to do much at premiership level. Thats not to say Shola is a world beater but he is a decent premiership player.

...by talking complete bollocks a fair bit of the time.