Monster

Happy Mondays - Jellybean

What kind of muppet gets the sega logo tattooed on their leg?

There are some nice coffees if you are looking for strength. Java Love is superb and organic too. Asdas own brand strength 5 is about £1 a bag and surprisingly tasty.

"Is it a girlscout meeting or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?"

Arctic Monkeys - Teddy Picker

The Hives - Walk Idiot Walk

Be careful!!

Remember to remove the extra warranty Not bad for £327.

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from.So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies,"I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,"My God, are you the stripper from my stag party that I made love to on the pool table with all my pals watching,while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???" She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."

Arctic Monkeys - A Certain Romance

When is the album out? I have them on at the moment - they're great at being 'Northern'

Somebody from the supporters bus ponced a score off me a couple of weeks ago and is such a slippery git that he didn't even go to the game last week to dodge me! I think he needs to be included in this corner......

If I ever need a lot of potatoes lifted from my garden or gallons of whiskey needing drank, I shall call an Irishman. Until then, I am Irishless, and happy with that.

The Killers - Change your mind.

You've spotted the flaw in the plan here. It took me quite a bit longer and a sore face to discover that.