Meenzer

Gwen Guthrie - Ain't Nothing Goin' On But The Rent

Tsk tsk. I'm not done grooming Brock yet. 1. I'm working till 8 or 9, which is clearly wrong. 2. Got a couple of bottles of Leffe chilling for when I'm done, which is clearly right. 3. Watching Nadal-Djokovic in the background - fantastic match so far. 4. This weekend will be a clean-the-flat-a-thon, unless the weather's good in which case I'll probably do a bit of cursory hoovering then head off to a local park to get me some skin cancer. 5. Quite fancy some chips and beans now actually.

Click on his profile and your suspicions are confirmed. Aw bless, he's sweet. No wonder Radgi's after his cherry.

My money's on chips and beans.

Is that a ska version of "Apply Some Pressure" on there?

Geek Heil!

Yeah, I assume the German journalist in question wasn't really suggesting they had anything to do with it in a sinister sense, but thought it was the best way of raising the general issue of how they've handled the whole thing and managed to deflect a lot of the blame from themselves.

Well he always asked me to toast his sausages around the campfire.

Play to the whistle!

50 shots of "Schnopps" and no doubt a "kebob" afterwards. Americans...

Can't top that.

Just a card, same as I get my mum on Mother's Day. We've a tacit agreement not to bother with presents - Christmas and birthdays are already enough given how little we actually know about what each other likes.

Mustn't be doing a very good job of it then.

As if Alan Green isn't going to be relentlessly negative throughout his commentary tonight, he's just started his Five Live stint with a rant about the band who played the national anthems... then the fact that kick-off has to wait until the TV cameras are ready... then the fact that an Estonian journalist took his seat a whole two minutes after kick-off... does anyone at the BBC honestly think people like this man? Anyway, apparently there's a match on. Owen starts, Dyer doesn't. England: Paul Robinson, Wes Brown, Ledley King, John Terry, Wayne Bridge, David Beckham, Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Joe Cole, Peter Crouch, Michael Owen.

Did Meenzer do your balloon knot? No he just fucked me up the arse tbh. He's a proper three push Charlie I heard. Dib dib dib! He never went to Scouts like, reckon he must have started to develop feelings for boys around the time of the transition from Cubs to Scouts and figured it would be for the best not to go. He'd have been fucked in Beavers! I quite enjoyed Beavers actually. There's a first time for everything I suppose. I gave up on Cubs/Scouts when they wanted us to actually document our good deeds for the day and I realised that I never did any (fiddling with Smooth Operator's woggle aside).

Perfect fit with the average Newcastle fan then.

Confirmed on BBC News too, so that appears to be that.

He is a complete headcase but he does have great desire and a will to win, not a bad player either. Nice arse too. This'll raise our standing no end with the scally-lovers over on famousmales.net, which is practically akin to a marketing partnership with a Chinese feeder club in the grand scheme of things.

Still got a couple of years of county cricket left in him.

Agreed, he came across as a decent fella and gave his best, and I'm sure he'll get a good reception whenever he's back at SJP. Quite what Bramble will get is another matter...

Hard knock life?

He's got what I presume to be a regular column in one of the kiddie/teenage magazines - Match, I think - that sounds thoroughly ghost-written, so maybe he's built an entire team of creative staff around him...

A glorious career supplying bad passes for Gifton Noel-Williams at Real Murcia clearly awaits.

I can do you 2 'holes in the ground...