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Don't be dissing Whigfield, Martin. You're on thin ice there. Very thin ice. She's no Alex Party.

It's also better than most of what gets played before the match. Although obviously the resurrection of "United, United, United we stand, United we never shall fall", mid-90s-style, would trump even an Abbott/Whigfield/Black Lace megamix.

Endless Highway - The Music Of The Band Not normally into tribute albums, but this is lurvely.

Almost as if he knew which side the free kick was going but went the other way to let Beckham score, which of course would have grabbed all the sports headlines and gotten even more publicity for the MLS and let the public know that Beckham was actually doing something. Keepers do that for every single one of Gerrard's long-range shots.

1. Had egg and chips for tea 2. Played some football before 3. Bit sunburnt 4. Been abducted 5. On MSN

I made the rookie error of including Hamburg in mine. I really should know better.

Not bad, not bad at all.

Aye, mind it seems to roll around every week or two these days

Ah, see, that would make sense - I was going to say that I did London City - Zurich - Belgrade clutching a bottle of duty-free whisky with no problems (they came after the consumption). I've noticed that security staff at foreign airports are a lot sneerier about the ludicrous "clear plastic bag" restrictions too.

How do you mean "move"?

You could just make a short cut to the word count on the toolbar. .. And miss a chance to bitch about Microsoft? Never, I tell you!

Do make sure anything you put in your checked-in luggage is well sealed and wrapped inside a few carrier bags for good measure. Things like shaving foam do seem to enjoy exploding mid-air.

Did you get his autograph? Did she get a parp on his trumpet?

The Tools menu on MS Word is somewhere that's really shit. Why would I ever want Speech Recognition and why do I always end up selecting it by mistake when I only want to do a word count? Other than me being a mong, obviously.

Actually the law school is only about 200 yards further from that bridge than my flat and about 3/4 of a mile closer than my current place of employment! But thanks. You just like living dangerously, admit it!

Hey now, it's not his fault he isn't well-schooled in the specialist area of legal law.

I love the guy who's obviously reading from his stat sheet... "All the way back to, erm... Preston North End..."

Law school? Always a challenge. On the plus side, it'll probably take you a little further away from any collapsing bridges. Best of luck with it mate

I'd love to go into a bookshop and just start randomly signing their books. "But I'm J.K. Rowling!"

Google Maps does pretty good roadmaps, aerial maps and hybrids of the two. Should be easy enough to take a few snapshots from the site and edit them as you need them, I'd have thought?

Do you mean street map type things, or physical maps (for want of a better term)? Not sure about the latter, but www.streetmap.co.uk is hard to beat for the former.

Why else do you think he chose Gateshead over Milan?

You wouldn't see Mrs. Dia complaining about the lack of designer boutiques in The Bridges, anyway.

Given the right media management and publicity a monkey with diarrhoea could. Just look at the singing frog. And Ali Dia managed to wangle himself a Premier League match with the right approach to self-publicity. Doesn't mean either him or the Crazy Frog got a lasting career out of it. Signed by Souness. (he only actually played in the Prem due to a reserve game being waterlogged - even Souness isn't that daft) Although I'm not sure I'd call 1 game where he came on as a sub and then was subbed and 2 whole weeks at Southampton before his contract was canceled and a few months for Gateshead a lasting career. Yes that was my point (etc.)