Meenzer

I suspect you're right. Still think he could be a pretty useful player for us right now, though, what with us short on a bit of midfield invention.

Oops, so you didn't. I misread the word "afterwards". Your version makes more sense really.

Immediately opposite the station as you come out the main entrance.

O'Neills at 11.30, then the Trent, then kick-off at 12.45? You'd have to suspect that one of the above will get the squeeze. My vote goes to the match.

This is like one of those dodgy contact ads you get in the free papers. "You, bandana-wearing cutie on the train at Aberdeen station yesterday morning. Me, long-sleeved Newcastle top and Girls Aloud blaring out of my iPod. Our eyes met - did you get the shivers too? Call me."

I've ordered a few bits and bobs online already. I popped into the shop at the Tate Modern on Sunday and was thoroughly taken aback by just how many useless gifts I'll be able to get my parents there, so one more trip into Evil London should pretty much sort out the rest. That's until we get to Christmas Eve and I realise I've forgotten to get the fella anything...

That's tough to hear Jonny mate, my thoughts are with you. And the people above talk good sense.

Aww, that's nice. Craig, come over here and join us in the "We're Allowed An Opinion" club. Group hug anybody?

Aye. One of those "quite reserved" parts of town that I've never heard of despite living there for 18 years.

In which case I really don't get what you're driving at.

Fixed your post. Aye if you live in places like Benwell, Walker or Heaton etc.... there are parts of Tyneside which are quite reserved you know. Just like Merseyside then. Whoever knew we had so much in common with the bindipper scum-of-the-earth? "We"? That's like when a Basingstoke based Man Utd refers to them as "we". He's from Newcastle though. But I'm "London-based" these days, which is roughly equivalent to raping Stevie's mam with a strap-on parmo while calling her a "pewer thing" in the Geordie Traitor stakes.

Fixed your post. Aye if you live in places like Benwell, Walker or Heaton etc.... there are parts of Tyneside which are quite reserved you know. Just like Merseyside then. Whoever knew we had so much in common with the bindipper scum-of-the-earth?

Fixed your post.

I wonder if you'll be able to put your entire book collection on shuffle and read a random page from each at a time.

I've bought a lovely new chocolate tea towel holder. Other than that it's all Christmas presents. Never any time (or money) to splurge on myself at this time of year. It's a hard life!

The Aussies will be fuming

Sigur Rós - Hvarf/Heim

Although I think she's alright I can't see her being around that long either. I don't know, posthumous fame is all the rage these days.

You absolutely can argue that, because it's absolutely true. At the same time, though, "pop" music has been largely dead in this country for the last few years as the wave of dull guitar bands with "The" in their name has taken hold, so I have no problem with the mainstream success of a lass who can sing a bit and has some decent pop tunes, however manufactured her profile may be. It's a lovely thought that we should all discover music organically and not be dictated to by radio stations, record companies etc., but it's not like things work that way in any other part of our lives, really - we buy from supermarkets, we drive cars from companies we've heard of rather than clunking around in some Bulgarian rustbucket, we follow peer pressure in a way that isn't substantially different to outside "marketing". And besides, most of the people who rant about OMG ÜBERMARKETED MUSIC would be devastated if the record industry as we know it disappeared overnight and everyone was forced to muscle in on their "I was there first" badge of discovering bands and singers as soon as they pop out of the womb, or whatever it is they do that makes them so much superior to your average, regular consumer. There's no point in being "indie" if there's no mainstream to rebel against, is there?

Seriously though, I'm no fan of identikit popular/populist music, but you'd have to be a fucking retard to claim that a significant number of people spend their hard-earned money on stuff they don't actually like.

PR machine and radio done good, you mean. True, it's a right bind when you go to HMV for the new Einstürzende Neubauten CD and those industry bastards swap it for a pop album when you're not looking.

Just racked up the fastest-selling debut album in UK chart history, apparently. The girl done good.

Come on Martin, did you get a birthday blowjob? Did I shite. At a wedding yesterday and we were both so knackered by the end of the night that it was all we could do to make a birthday cup of tea before bed. Euphemism Euphemism, eh? I bet you do, I bet you do...

Oh aye and the "Meenzer" thing... it's a local dialect term for a resident of Mainz, Germany. Which I haven't been for several years now, but we'll gloss over that bit.