Meenzer

I'm a night owl by nature, I've never been happier than when I was freelancing and could work deep into the night with a whisky in front of me and some decent music blaring out. That said, late-night flights are rubbish unless you're being picked up at the other end (or you're flying to a country with competent public transport). Should I have been taking this seriously, by the way?

I've got a bit of Gemmill's man flu, I think. Will take this afternoon off and huddle under a blanket to make myself better for Fulham tomorrow....

Happy birthday, whoever you are.

You lean forward and to the side a bit while staying basically seated. It's honestly never occurred to me to stand up and do it.

Aye, because we had loads on quality defenders under Shepherd. I must have imagined Gillespie and Butt signing for us, too...

Happy 93rd!

We're getting old.

Bored. Anyone on Facebook fancy a game of Scrabble?

Quick, let's all post in a 3-5-2 formation to confuse the lad.

"Robert finally leaves" "former Newcastle star and Portsmouth player" Some nice turns of phrase there.

He hates you so much his eyes were instinctively drawn to your name.

Oh I assure you, there's plenty of us who don't find Wacky amusing in the least.

5th best pub on the Great North Road. Fact!

More flirting, but a damn sight less footsie.

I was already halfway to posting it when you mentioned Emmerdale and barn dancing. Further proof of our deep psychic connection, if proof were needed.

Like this?

It's even got that slightly bemused facial expression with which you tackle the trials and tribulations of everyday life.

Reunion? That would require actual planning. I bet it ends up with half a dozen people having a drink in the Three Mile on Christmas Eve or something.

Mr. Farquharson told me it was an ice lolly.

I was going to say, I presume the tax £££ from the football industry is a huge money-spinner for the government. Of course, they spend it all on housing for rapist immigrants, so you can't win.

I've said it before and I'll say it again... Much better.

Where's the punchline?

Martin we've all heard some of your Glorified Serbian Spoon Contests you listen to. Hey, I reckon any prog rock album would be brightened up by a bit of boom-bang-a-bang.

Class. I remember Pav being thoroughly confused when we shouted at him from the top of the shopping centre on Gosforth High Street. "But ze noises... zey are komink from above my head?"* * That's how Czech people speak, see.

£4.50?! Are you sure you're not accidentally shopping in Asda one day and Harrods Food Hall the next?