Meenzer

The residue of a can of Kopparberg from last night and a fuckload of caffeine.

Twelve and Holding Not quite as obviously touting for controversy as the director's debut "L.I.E." (though I suppose not every film can feature a jovial paedo who's the pillar of the local community), but it still manages to cover pyromania, child-on-child violence, Lolita syndrome and clinical obesity, so that should push a few people's buttons. Couple of obvious plot flaws offset by some surprisingly decent kid acting, and all in all I was quite taken by the atmosphere of the whole thing.

In my experience, TicketWeb are the "best" of the ticketing sites in terms of applying less extortionate charges than Ticketmaster or See Tickets (for example), though it's still a bit of a rip-off. Obviously lots of events only go through one ticketing site though.

Uhm...

Aye, see, you used to be the school captain and the alpha male in a small pond, so you never had to worry about not getting your own way. Now that you're getting older, fatter and uglier just like the rest of us, though...

"yes"

Ahh, fond memories of watching Last Crusade with my host family in Hamburg, young kids and all. "It's a family film", I said. I probably should have remembered the less-than-favourable portrayal of the Germans throughout.

Now you're talking. I was going to get that until I realised I've got most of the tracks already, so I ordered the missing two albums for about four quid each instead. Fine stuff.

Also, jams = inherently rubbish.

Buy 'How the west was won' and the creatively titled 'DVD'. Yeah, see, but no. Not yet anyway. I'm working on a budget here.

Led Zeppelin - Mothership I have a complete blind spot where the Zep are concerned, due in no small part to boring old rockers telling me how great they were at every turn when I was growing up, so this seems a decent enough place to start. Systematic use of the headbang emoticon may follow.

What metals go shiny when exposed to the elements like? Here man, they said it would change colour and go shiney. We were lied to. I want my tax back. They'd only use it to open a centre for crippled black lesbian immigrants anyway.

I'd love to play all high-and-mighty about the lercals interviewed on Look North at the time who absolutely hated it, but I have to admit I really didn't get the point of it at first. Love it now like, it's great having a landmark visible from both road and rail that tells you you're nearly home.

That's really sweet. Mind, I didn't register the "get her house key off her" bit at first, so I had visions of her coming home, thinking she had an intruder and attacking you with a mace spray.

If that's Fiona May, I think she's retired now. Married an Italian fella anyway, so it's fair enough - we've benefited from dodgy nationality calls in other sports with the likes of Greg Rusedski and that Vainikolo bloke in the rugby, say. It's the Qataris snapping up a load of African middle- and long-distance runners that the authorities really need to address if that's the kind of thing they're bothered about. I believe they're doing the same in other sports too (e.g. the national football side which is 50% foreigners), but in athletics they're actually able to shove money at the good people.

Actually, now that you mention it, we are off out to the monthly Eurovision night at the Retro Bar tomorrow. I bet it'll be smoochy Maltese lurve ballads all night.

Are u not going to G.A.Y to see Girls Alound or something else stereotypical?!? You'd be more likely to see us at the Borderline watching some wrist-slittingly depressing country singer rattling on about her umpteenth divorce. Sorry if we've spoiled your plans, I'm sure the train fare will be refundable though.

We're doing absolutely nothing, by mutual consent. Home-cooked meal and a bottle of wine will do nicely.

The most recent posters in the America Unchained thread suspend hostilities to pose for a group photo:

I done that especially for you. In fact next time, I might put the whole thing in the thread title and not bother with body text Excellent idea. I shall steal it.

Runner beans

What about the one for eating baked beans with a cocktail stick? Wind assisted.

What kind of freakin' freak are you???

OK, who's going to point out the obvious?